Active TopicsActive Topics  Display List of Forum MembersMemberlist  CalendarCalendar  Search The ForumSearch  HelpHelp
  RegisterRegister  LoginLogin  Old ForumOld Forum  Twitter  Facebook

Groups Men (Brothers)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups Men (Brothers)
Message Icon Topic: Your thoughts matter Post Reply Post New Topic
<< Prev Page  of 2
Author Message
Senior Member
Senior  Member

Joined: 25 November 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2041
Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 12 February 2013 at 3:59am
I think one possible reason that she may be pressing for a quick marriage is because she does not trust your commitment. She needs some sort of commitment from you, how can she be sure that you will marry her? She probably told her parents, and they said - if he is serious, he will offer some sort of commitment. A commitment my friend, is a nikah. You don't have to start living together, have a nikah - and then continue with your masters. This will give her the commitment she needs.

Its not about being bossy, or ''funny''', its basically making sure that the guy is not just stringing you along with false promises. I think she is doing the right thing, if you can't marry her, she should end the relationship - because there is no point.

You should involve your parents and have the parents talk, and have an engagement. I bet she will stop pressuring you for a nikah then.

Abu Loren's advise I feel was rather immature. [To be hoest, she doesn't come across as a true Muslimah as she is pushing you and trying to control you. A true Muslimah will respect the man and listen to him rather than trying to order him around. She will know her place, even if it sounds sexist.] Really? Ok! Ermm

"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
IP IP Logged

Joined: 18 January 2013
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10
Quote zMisbahz Replybullet Posted: 12 February 2013 at 8:56am

    Hi Chrysalis. Abu Loren has his/her opinion and I must respect it (we must too). Now I get the feeling from your comment that you think I may not be giving her the commitment, if this is what you are getting at I must say you are wrong. I doubt you read my initial post clearly , if not kindly do so again, did you know she tried getting me to do a Nikah without the consent of her Father "Is that right Islamically", what woman does that. Are you a Male or Female, if you are the latter may I ask, would you push a Man to marry without the consent of your Mahram (Guardian). this is not a case of not giving her a commitment as I did give her my words, spoke to my parents about it as well as reassured her that if she is worried about any relationship issues before marriage we don't even have to meet that way she can protect herself , (tell me, am not trying to be proud or big headed), how many men do you know that know certainly a woman is head over heels for them and not take advantage of it in this day and age we live in. Now most times people forget to think about the Man in this instances but worry about the woman instead. I told her the truth and laid down my ideas from day one, bottom line is if she didn't like it why didn't she leave, I have and never will force my ideas on a female. She wouldn't leave and she wouldn't let me leave if I chose to walk away from it. Thanks for taking the time out to respond, I truly appreciate it.
IP IP Logged
Male Islam
Senior Member
Senior  Member

Joined: 13 December 2012
Location: India
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 769
Quote NABA Replybullet Posted: 30 April 2013 at 8:31am
walecum As Salaam,if I would have been in your position I truly say to her that let me complete my studies first and then marry,yes love is right at its place but practically it is odd,because even after completing ur studies U have to look for a good job and then marriage comes after that.that's my opinion.Allahfiz
IP IP Logged
<< Prev Page  of 2
Post Reply Post New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

The opinions expressed herein contain positions and viewpoints that are not necessarily those of IslamiCity. This forum is offered to stimulate dialogue and discussion in our continuing mission of being an educational organization.
If there is any issue with any of the postings please email to icforum at or if you are a forum's member you can use the report button.

Note: The 99 names of Allah avatars are courtesy of


Sponsored by:
Islamicity Membership Program:
IslamiCity Donation Program
IslamiCity Arabic eLearning
Complete Domain & Hosting Solutions
Home for Muslim Tunes
Islamic Video Collections
IslamiCity Marriage Site