IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum: newly married sexual problems

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hakeema
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Joined: 10 October 2005
Location: United States
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Posted: 08 August 2012 at 3:17pm

As-Salaam Alaikum,

@AllforAllah, don't argue. Just ask him some questions.

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Full of Hopes
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Posts: 860

Posted: 08 August 2012 at 8:43pm

Originally posted by hakeema

As-Salaam Alaikum,

@AllforAllah, don't argue. Just ask him some questions.

Like?

And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)

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Full of Hopes
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Joined: 06 August 2009
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Posts: 860

Posted: 08 August 2012 at 8:45pm

Originally posted by Pati

Originally posted by AllforAllah

Salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

My husband and I got married last year in October. I am currently about 5 months pregnant. We have been having sexual problems since we got married but it seems to be getting worse. I want sex more than him, and I seem to not get it as much as I want. I try to look good for him, do my hair and makeup and dress up but none of that seems to arouse him. He keeps telling me okay we will do it later, but we end up not doing it and I go to sleep frustrated. Another problem we are having is, when we do actually get intimate, he leaves me unsatisfied like it doesn't matter to him at all. Again, I go to sleep unhappy. I am attractive. I know i gained a few pounds since i got pregnant but mind you I am pregnant because he really wanted a baby. I don't know what to do. I keep praying to Allah that this will improve. There's no telling him how i feel because we always end up fighting and he leaves our bed. I am extremely sad and depressed because of this. Please pray for me. Any good serious answers are appreciated. Thank you. May Allah reward you.

Hi dear,Well, first of all, welcome to the "hormon war" on pregnant women. That's why you feel so much "needs", and it will keep this way until the end of the pregnancy period... so you will have to learn on how to control it as much as you can.Regarding him, it's not that he is not wanting you, all men are afraid from pregnant women, because they think that during the intercourse, the baby may be hurt or I don't know what they have in their minds, so maybe going to the doctor together and asking him about the possibility to keep your sexual life alive may help. For the last thing, if you don't get satisfied, I would just tell him that you don't get fully satisfaction, and that you may need to try different things to be pleased both of us. Just say it not as reproaching him, but just talking and explaining that you need something more.Dear, he is your husband and he should understand you. You are just starting the marriage, and you will be with him for the rest of your lives, so just try to enjoy it in the best way you can. Be opened with him, enjoy your time together, and just trust each other. Don't be afraid from telling him your needs.Good luck [IMG]smileys/smiley2.gif" align="absmiddle" alt="Wink" />Patricia

I agree with Pati..

And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)

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seeja
Female Islam
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Joined: 28 October 2010
Location: India
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Posts: 110

Posted: 19 September 2012 at 4:06am

Originally posted by Full of Hopes

Originally posted by Pati

I agree with Pati..

As always “Pati” comments shows the wisdom that can help to overcome these type of situation...I agree with those comments.

Edited by seeja - 19 September 2012 at 4:07am

Islam (Total Surrender, Submission, Obedience, Sincerity and Peace with Allah) is for all people, in all places and in all times

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Author	Message
hakeema Female Islam Groupie Joined: 10 October 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 97	Posted: 08 August 2012 at 3:17pm
	As-Salaam Alaikum, @AllforAllah, don't argue. Just ask him some questions.
	IP Logged

Full of Hopes Female Islam Senior Member Joined: 06 August 2009 Online Status: Offline Posts: 860	Posted: 08 August 2012 at 8:43pm
	*Originally posted by hakeema* As-Salaam Alaikum, @AllforAllah, don't argue. Just ask him some questions. Like?
	And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
	IP Logged

Full of Hopes Female Islam Senior Member Joined: 06 August 2009 Online Status: Offline Posts: 860	Posted: 08 August 2012 at 8:45pm
	*Originally posted by Pati* *Originally posted by AllforAllah* Salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh My husband and I got married last year in October. I am currently about 5 months pregnant. We have been having sexual problems since we got married but it seems to be getting worse. I want sex more than him, and I seem to not get it as much as I want. I try to look good for him, do my hair and makeup and dress up but none of that seems to arouse him. He keeps telling me okay we will do it later, but we end up not doing it and I go to sleep frustrated. Another problem we are having is, when we do actually get intimate, he leaves me unsatisfied like it doesn't matter to him at all. Again, I go to sleep unhappy. I am attractive. I know i gained a few pounds since i got pregnant but mind you I am pregnant because he really wanted a baby. I don't know what to do. I keep praying to Allah that this will improve. There's no telling him how i feel because we always end up fighting and he leaves our bed. I am extremely sad and depressed because of this. Please pray for me. Any good serious answers are appreciated. Thank you. May Allah reward you. Hi dear,Well, first of all, welcome to the "hormon war" on pregnant women. That's why you feel so much "needs", and it will keep this way until the end of the pregnancy period... so you will have to learn on how to control it as much as you can.Regarding him, it's not that he is not wanting you, all men are afraid from pregnant women, because they think that during the intercourse, the baby may be hurt or I don't know what they have in their minds, so maybe going to the doctor together and asking him about the possibility to keep your sexual life alive may help. For the last thing, if you don't get satisfied, I would just tell him that you don't get fully satisfaction, and that you may need to try different things to be pleased both of us. Just say it not as reproaching him, but just talking and explaining that you need something more.Dear, he is your husband and he should understand you. You are just starting the marriage, and you will be with him for the rest of your lives, so just try to enjoy it in the best way you can. Be opened with him, enjoy your time together, and just trust each other. Don't be afraid from telling him your needs.Good luck [IMG]smileys/smiley2.gif" align="absmiddle" alt="Wink" />Patricia I agree with Pati..
	And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
	IP Logged

seeja Female Islam Senior Member Joined: 28 October 2010 Location: India Online Status: Offline Posts: 110	Posted: 19 September 2012 at 4:06am
	*Originally posted by Full of Hopes* *Originally posted by Pati* *Originally posted by AllforAllah* Salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh My husband and I got married last year in October. I am currently about 5 months pregnant. We have been having sexual problems since we got married but it seems to be getting worse. I want sex more than him, and I seem to not get it as much as I want. I try to look good for him, do my hair and makeup and dress up but none of that seems to arouse him. He keeps telling me okay we will do it later, but we end up not doing it and I go to sleep frustrated. Another problem we are having is, when we do actually get intimate, he leaves me unsatisfied like it doesn't matter to him at all. Again, I go to sleep unhappy. I am attractive. I know i gained a few pounds since i got pregnant but mind you I am pregnant because he really wanted a baby. I don't know what to do. I keep praying to Allah that this will improve. There's no telling him how i feel because we always end up fighting and he leaves our bed. I am extremely sad and depressed because of this. Please pray for me. Any good serious answers are appreciated. Thank you. May Allah reward you. Hi dear,Well, first of all, welcome to the "hormon war" on pregnant women. That's why you feel so much "needs", and it will keep this way until the end of the pregnancy period... so you will have to learn on how to control it as much as you can.Regarding him, it's not that he is not wanting you, all men are afraid from pregnant women, because they think that during the intercourse, the baby may be hurt or I don't know what they have in their minds, so maybe going to the doctor together and asking him about the possibility to keep your sexual life alive may help. For the last thing, if you don't get satisfied, I would just tell him that you don't get fully satisfaction, and that you may need to try different things to be pleased both of us. Just say it not as reproaching him, but just talking and explaining that you need something more.Dear, he is your husband and he should understand you. You are just starting the marriage, and you will be with him for the rest of your lives, so just try to enjoy it in the best way you can. Be opened with him, enjoy your time together, and just trust each other. Don't be afraid from telling him your needs.Good luck [IMG]smileys/smiley2.gif" align="absmiddle" alt="Wink" />Patricia I agree with Pati.. As always “Pati” comments shows the wisdom that can help to overcome these type of situation...I agree with those comments. Edited by seeja - 19 September 2012 at 4:07am
	Islam (Total Surrender, Submission, Obedience, Sincerity and Peace with Allah) is for all people, in all places and in all times
	IP Logged