Salamu alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

My husband and I got married last year in October. I am currently about 5 months pregnant. We have been having sexual problems since we got married but it seems to be getting worse. I want sex more than him, and I seem to not get it as much as I want. I try to look good for him, do my hair and makeup and dress up but none of that seems to arouse him. He keeps telling me okay we will do it later, but we end up not doing it and I go to sleep frustrated. Another problem we are having is, when we do actually get intimate, he leaves me unsatisfied like it doesn't matter to him at all. Again, I go to sleep unhappy. I am attractive. I know i gained a few pounds since i got pregnant but mind you I am pregnant because he really wanted a baby. I don't know what to do. I keep praying to Allah that this will improve. There's no telling him how i feel because we always end up fighting and he leaves our bed. I am extremely sad and depressed because of this. Please pray for me. Any good serious answers are appreciated. Thank you. May Allah reward you.

Talk to him about it... read up about these issues on the internet and tips on how to get him interested.

Hi dear,

Well, first of all, welcome to the "hormon war" on pregnant women. That's why you feel so much "needs", and it will keep this way until the end of the pregnancy period... so you will have to learn on how to control it as much as you can.

Regarding him, it's not that he is not wanting you, all men are afraid from pregnant women, because they think that during the intercourse, the baby may be hurt or I don't know what they have in their minds, so maybe going to the doctor together and asking him about the possibility to keep your sexual life alive may help.

For the last thing, if you don't get satisfied, I would just tell him that you don't get fully satisfaction, and that you may need to try different things to be pleased both of us. Just say it not as reproaching him, but just talking and explaining that you need something more.

Dear, he is your husband and he should understand you. You are just starting the marriage, and you will be with him for the rest of your lives, so just try to enjoy it in the best way you can. Be opened with him, enjoy your time together, and just trust each other. Don't be afraid from telling him your needs.

Good luck
Patricia

Oh,and by the way,it's crappy advise really..because I've been patient and prayed about it for years..and he hasn't changed one bit. He won't even discuss it.But,he provides well for us,and I take that as the trade off for a happy intimate life with him.I love him..so,there really isn't much I can do to change him.,or his attitudes towards pleasing me in that way. Sorry couldn't be of more help. This discussion board isn't really the best place..it's so....inactive.