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Groups Women (Sisters)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups Women (Sisters)
Message Icon Topic: The Search for a Husband Post Reply Post New Topic
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joyful85
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Quote joyful85 Replybullet Topic: The Search for a Husband
    Posted: 20 May 2012 at 6:07pm
I'm not sure how to explain this. I need to talk it out but I feel so lost.

I had been talking to a muslim man in the US for two and a half months, until today. Things had been going well until he said he wanted his mom to talk to me, and he kept putting off telling his parents about me. I thought he was just nervous, since we both did Istikhara several times and got positive results each time.

But still, he kept putting things off. I finally realized, painfully, that the relationship wasn't going anywhere.

So now I'm back to square one, and I really don't know what to do anymore.

Any advice or personal experience stories would help a lot. Pity party right here! lol. (j/k)
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Chrysalis
 
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 24 May 2012 at 1:19am
Originally posted by joyful85

I'm not sure how to explain this. I need to talk it out but I feel so lost.

I had been talking to a muslim man in the US for two and a half months, until today. Things had been going well until he said he wanted his mom to talk to me, and he kept putting off telling his parents about me. I thought he was just nervous, since we both did Istikhara several times and got positive results each time.

But still, he kept putting things off. I finally realized, painfully, that the relationship wasn't going anywhere.

So now I'm back to square one, and I really don't know what to do anymore.

Any advice or personal experience stories would help a lot. Pity party right here! lol. (j/k)


Salaam Joyful!

First of all know that Allah/God has chosen someone for you to marry and there is a time and place for when you shall meet him. Its written in our destiny/fate - once you have that faith, inshAlllah you won't worry too much about the 'right guy'.

Also sister, one of the most important things in a relationship is reciprocation. The other person should want to be with us just as much as we want to be with them (if not more, :p). If you feel that a prospective man is not showing initiative, or interest - then that is a sign in itself. We should have the dignity to realize that and get over them. I know it sounds easier in theory and is harder in real-life, but you need to give yourself that dignity and respect and be able to steer your heart and emotions away from such a person.

I would advise that you fill your life with lots of things to do. Keep busy and stay positive. Think about how Allah has chosen a Mr. Right for you, and start preparing for your eventual meeting by making yourself Mrs. Right. Try and distance yourself from memories of him and look towards the future. Find fun, constructive things to do - and if you ever feel sad and lost, tell yourself you did yourself a favor by ending a relationship that was not going anywhere.

May Allah unite you with your true soul-mate soon. Ameen.






"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 24 May 2012 at 6:16am
..

Edited by abuayisha - 29 May 2012 at 4:04pm
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Chrysalis
 
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 25 May 2012 at 1:35pm
Ameen.
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Pati
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Quote Pati Replybullet Posted: 29 May 2012 at 2:38pm
Originally posted by joyful85

I'm not sure how to explain this. I need to talk it out but I feel so lost.

I had been talking to a muslim man in the US for two and a half months, until today. Things had been going well until he said he wanted his mom to talk to me, and he kept putting off telling his parents about me. I thought he was just nervous, since we both did Istikhara several times and got positive results each time.

But still, he kept putting things off. I finally realized, painfully, that the relationship wasn't going anywhere.

So now I'm back to square one, and I really don't know what to do anymore.

Any advice or personal experience stories would help a lot. Pity party right here! lol. (j/k)


Ohhh dear.... I have the best of advices... develope yourself and enjoy your life!!

I mean, try to make yourself better, study something, try to get good job, try to make new friends, try to do all things you feel you want to do.

The marriage is something that has an special time, but it's not in your hands. It's God's wish to send you the person in the right moment, and until that moment, you should try your best to be ready.

Don't try to speed up things that are not in your hands, because this way, you may find the wrong person and destroy your life. Be patient and wait for the right man who is able to make you happy, for the right father for your children, and the right partner for your life.

Be patient!!

Kind regards,
Patricia
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.
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joyful85
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Quote joyful85 Replybullet Posted: 23 June 2012 at 4:50pm
Thanks ladies, I really appreciate the advice. :)

I have realized that I need to be patient and wait for whatever Allah has in store for me. I am working on studying the Qu'ran and bettering myself as a muslim.

Asalaam alaikum,


K.
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