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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
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Nadirah7
 
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Quote Nadirah7 Replybullet Topic: n
    Posted: 06 April 2012 at 11:32pm
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Edited by Nadirah7 - 09 April 2012 at 11:39am
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Sign*Reader
 
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Quote Sign*Reader Replybullet Posted: 08 April 2012 at 3:52pm
Originally posted by Nadirah7

He told me that it is not his fathers business and if I decide to tell him about the affair then I should be ready to leave.

N~

You have provided the answer already... To be or not to be a doormat is an option by living in the west.  I hope you don't have any kids that will make things somewhat complicated depending on the circumstances.
Kismet Domino: Faith/Courage/Liberty/Abundance/Selfishness/Immorality/Apathy/Bondage or extinction.
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 08 April 2012 at 10:39pm

In Islam the burden of proof for accusing another of having sexual relations is very high and for a good reason.  It is a very big sin for which the penal code is applied.   Those Muslim who are living in the west and somehow fall into this sin should in my opinion, seek forgiveness from Allah and not tell anyone - especially their spouse.  Now that you know it is your choice to remain in the marriage or leave.  If, in my opinion, your marriage prior to knowledge of this occurrence was great - you love your husband, then you may want to consider whether to forgive and move on or not.  Allah has allowed divorce for a reason and you have every right to take this option.  Your husband made a bad mistake, and may very well become a better person given your understanding and support.  Don't make your decision based upon "Allah hating divorce" because He would not have allowed it otherwise, and don't make a decision seeking  blessings or "rewards" for staying.  Think deeply about your ability to forgive and move on.  Are you able to live with this severe blow to trust in your relationship?  Certainly you are now sad and depressed, this is normal, but in time the pain will likely lessen.  It will not be easy.  Only time will heal your hurt feelings.  We ask Allah, Most High, to guide you to the best decision.

"To Allah we belong and unto Him is our return.  Oh Allah! recompense me for my affliction and replace it for me with something better."  Insha'Allah, whoever says this supplication Allah will replace for him with something better..Muslim

عن ام سلمه رضي الله عنها قالت : سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول : ما من عبد تصيبه مصيبة ، فيقول : إنا لله وإنا إليه راجعون : اللهم أجرني في مصيبتي ، واخلف لي خيرا منها، إلا أجره الله تعالى في مصيبته وأخلف له خيرا منها . قالت : فلما توفي أبو سلمة ، قلت كما أمرني رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فأخلف الله لي خيرا منه رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم . رواه مسلم

 

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