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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
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niazuddin
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Quote niazuddin Replybullet Topic: marriage life
    Posted: 18 January 2012 at 11:15pm
Aslam alikum my marriage life is of 2.5 years old and havign a son of 14 month old before my son my marriage life was going on fine and full of happy and joy there is lot of love in between my house and my inlaws house.but after my son born my inlwas become totally change my wife dont keep my son to my house as she is working women she kept my son to her house whole day she dont keep my son with my parents for a single moment.For this my parent are very angry with her and one day my father blast on her.After then call her father to mnake her understand but they take away his daughter now they dont allow to come to my house and asking me to take another house and keep his daughter.I am the elder on and dont want to leave my parent in there oldage.Is there any solution for this problem i want she come back to my house and leave happily i dotn want to loose or hurt any one.I need my family back.kindly help me if there is any solution or any dua that bring my family back
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 19 January 2012 at 4:51pm
A mother who has to leave her home and work will leave her child where she feels the child will be properly cared for.  It is no surprise that she would prefer her own family.  There should be enough time after work and on her days off from work for your family to bond with your son, otherwise you may want to allow her to stay home and not work.
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Full of Hopes
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Quote Full of Hopes Replybullet Posted: 24 January 2012 at 4:35pm
Asslamu alaikum dear bro.
I think I know how ur parents really feel cos my parents used to feel the same when my sis n law leaves the baby with her family but I still agree with bro abuaisha that u guys need to understand that she would feel better to keep the baby with her family plus the mother side will not get bored or tired easily. As you mentioned also that ur parents are old so it might b hard for them to take care of a baby n ur son's age.
My advice to u s that u try to explain to ur parents that ur wife doesn't want them to b tired n just want to help them to rest more n not worry of the baby when she s not around. Plus give ur parents enough time with ur baby n the weekends n other breaks n make them feel secure that the baby still belongs to them.
And take my advice! Always keep ur problems between u n ur wife. Try not to involve parents or anyone else unless u really can't deal with it alone.
I noticed something! When ur partner hurts u and u complain u can forgive him/her later but your family really can't. So keep thier love 4ur wife by always covering her mistakes and solve the issue between you guys.
I hope I could help. Take care. My duaa for u

Edited by Full of Hopes - 24 January 2012 at 4:41pm
And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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lady
 
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Quote lady Replybullet Posted: 25 January 2012 at 11:21pm
Assalamaoalaikum sister Fulll of hope.  Your post was excellent when you said: 
:And take my advice! Always keep ur problems between u n ur wife. Try not to involve parents or anyone else unless u really can't deal with it alone.
I noticed something! When ur partner hurts u and u complain u can forgive him/her later but your family really can't. So keep thier love 4ur wife by always covering her mistakes and solve the issue between you guys."

Edited by lady - 25 January 2012 at 11:22pm
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Full of Hopes
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Quote Full of Hopes Replybullet Posted: 26 January 2012 at 6:15pm
Thank you sis Lady yeah I believe it so bad n hope to stick to it.
And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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niazuddin
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Quote niazuddin Replybullet Posted: 26 January 2012 at 10:29pm
Thanks for your reply and suggestion.What my inlaws house want is they want to keep my son with them and bought up there only.and what i want is he is my son he should bought by me only for whom i am earning.
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 27 January 2012 at 7:16am
Whatever happen to; 'it takes a village'.......
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 29 January 2012 at 8:27am
Asalaam Alaikum,

I think you should keep in mind your wife's relationships. Some in-laws- especially mother-in-laws are VERY pushy people. They do not respect the daughter-in-laws and treat them well. They order her about, be-little her, make her feel bad as she is not "family." YOU may not see it, or at all feel slighted. But she may very well be. Especially if the ONLY reason for her to be there is so they see their grandchild.

Many husbands often expect the woman to put up with things as YOU want them to be. Instead of your father"blasting" her, YOU need to sit down and ask her why she dos not want to be over there. She, as a Muslim woman does not have to live with your family.

You are responsible for your parents, she is not. She may not want to be there. Many women are like that.



Edited by Hayfa - 29 January 2012 at 8:28am
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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