I just have a question about wailing. Is it wrong not to wail or shave your head when someone close to you dies? Can you just cry without wailing and hitting yourself? I converted to Islam and my father, who is Catholic, just passed and I cried and mourned for him but didn't wail or shave my head or even hit myself. My husband made it seem like me and my side of the family was doing something wrong. I was raised different from him and yes we show emotions but to a certain extent. I hide all my emotions especially when I cry. My family mourned for him but we didn't do what he is use to seeing when someone dies. I woke up everyday prayed and did what needed to be done around the house so my mother didn't have to do it. He told me he would divorce me if we acted like this, or if this was how we would act if he was to die. Did I do something wrong, this is the first time someone so close to me has died.

Assalaamaoalaikum Omali. I am sorry that your father passed away. Trust me, I know what you are going through. Everyone has their own way of mouring. Islamically, semar is right about  how a person is suppose to respond to the death of another person.  Sorry to hear that you have this extra stress about how you should mourn of your father's death. Hopefully everything will get better for you and your family.

PS sister.  Dont worry about your husband saying that he will divorce you.  Maybe the next time he tells you that, then you should make him some nice tea, and then tell him that you fear and worship no one but Allah. dont forget to wink and smile at him as you say that.