Active TopicsActive Topics  Display List of Forum MembersMemberlist  CalendarCalendar  Search The ForumSearch  HelpHelp
  RegisterRegister  LoginLogin  Old ForumOld Forum  Twitter  Facebook
Advertisement:
         

Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: ADVICE PLEASE Post Reply Post New Topic
Author Message
ILHAAM
Female Islam
Starter
Starter
Avatar

Joined: 13 November 2011
Location: South Africa
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1
Quote ILHAAM Replybullet Topic: ADVICE PLEASE
    Posted: 13 November 2011 at 6:46am
as salaam
 
i am a muslim sister in desperate need of advice.. my husband and i are currently in a financial problem and things are very tough. we are staying with my parents, but my mother is very displeased with this. she is not happy and has told me that she doesnt want me here and i should go even if i must suffer its my problem. my father on the other hand wants to help us and doesnt have a problem that we stay with them until we can become stable.
i am confused because after 6 months of searching my husband and i found a decent place which we can live in but it costs R4000 and my husband earns only R7500/
we have a six month old baby and i am worried because we know it will be tough with all the household and general other expenses.
im looking for any advice that u can give.
should we stay on and make my dad happy or move out and make my mum happy.
plz help
 
a very very worried and stressed sister
 
IP IP Logged
abuayisha
 
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 05 October 1999
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4371
Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 13 November 2011 at 4:56pm

What about help from your husband's family?  I'd leave and attempt to carefully budget the remaining R3500.  Has your mom mentioned why she is unhappy with having your family there?  What is your concept of becoming stable?  And how long do you anticipate it would take?  Mothers are often central to happiness in any home and when she's unhappy - everyone else suffers.  Make sure you leave on good terms if you do decide to leave.  Make Mum happy, and know that whenever you give up something for Allah's pleasure (making your mom happy) he will replace that which you've given up with something better (a stable home).  Also when faced with stress and worry, say; I am satisfied with Allah as my Lord and Islam as my religion and Prophet Muhammad as my prophet; and Allah will relieve your stress.  Make istikhara (prayer for guidance) and put your trust in Allah.  All the best for you and your family in this life and the next.

IP IP Logged
Chrysalis
 
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 25 November 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2041
Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 17 November 2011 at 10:07pm
Originally posted by abuayisha

Mothers are often central to happiness in any home and when she's unhappy - everyone else suffers. Make sure you leave on good terms if you do decide to leave. Make Mum happy, and know that whenever you give up something for Allah's pleasure (making your mom happy) he will replace that which you've given up with something better (a stable home). Also when faced with stress and worry, say; I am satisfied with Allah as my Lord and Islam as my religion and Prophet Muhammad as my prophet; and Allah will relieve your stress. Make istikhara (prayer for guidance) and put your trust in Allah. All the best for you and your family in this life and the next.





"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
IP IP Logged
Wardah
 
Newbie
Newbie
Avatar

Joined: 16 October 2011
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 19
Quote Wardah Replybullet Posted: 14 December 2011 at 10:40am
Salam sister

Brother Abuayeshah is right. And I would say it is always better for us to not depend upon others even parents, you can survive in 3500 inshaAllah, beside you can find work for your self, if you cant go out becuz of the baby than find something that you can do at home as a work and try to make some money. I know its not easy but it is better for you to stand on your own feet no matter how much you suffer. Mothers always love their children, if your Mom is not happy with your stay than may be there is something that you dont know but she knows.
IP IP Logged
asheque
 
Groupie
Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 17 August 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 93
Quote asheque Replybullet Posted: 10 March 2012 at 8:27pm
Try to keep moving with your husband.
And pray to Allah.Only he can help you.

IP IP Logged
Hayfa
Female  Islam
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 07 June 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2370
Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 11 March 2012 at 12:24am
Salaams Sister,

It is difficult to know what to do. On one hand it is scary to "fear" the unknown. On the other hand your mother is right, you do need to "stand on your own feet." Sometimes we get too comfortable having someone support us when we are able-bodied.

Keep making prayers.
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
IP IP Logged
asheque
 
Groupie
Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 17 August 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 93
Quote asheque Replybullet Posted: 13 March 2012 at 8:30pm
When you believe one from your heart than you can remember that you may
get a good result from him.If you believe him than go ahead.
IP IP Logged
Nausheen
 
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar
Senior Member

Joined: 10 January 2001
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4198
Quote Nausheen Replybullet Posted: 19 March 2012 at 8:07pm
I wonder why your mother wants you to move out. Is it because of the financial burden on them or too much crowding in her home or anything else.
 
Perhaps you can sit and talk it out with your mother. If she feels a little relieved by your sharing some of the houshold expenses - then living as paying guests with your parents would be suitable.
 
On the other hand, if there are other issues involved then perhaps you may move out, and try to ask for financial help from your family and his, till you are a bit stable. Also there are a few work options from home, depending on your location. Even internet sometimes offers decent work opportunities - but again it will depend on where you are.
 
May Allah help you, and ease your troubles. Ameen
Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.
IP IP Logged
Post Reply Post New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Disclaimer:
The opinions expressed herein contain positions and viewpoints that are not necessarily those of IslamiCity. This forum is offered to stimulate dialogue and discussion in our continuing mission of being an educational organization.
If there is any issue with any of the postings please email to icforum at islamicity.com or if you are a forum's member you can use the report button.

Note: The 99 names of Allah avatars are courtesy of www.arthafez.com

Advertisement:



Sponsored by:
Islamicity Membership Program:
IslamiCity Donation Program  http://www.islamicity.com/Donate
IslamiCity Arabic eLearning http://www.islamiCity.com/ArabAcademy
Complete Domain & Hosting Solutions www.icDomain.com
Home for Muslim Tunes www.icTunes.com
Islamic Video Collections www.islamiTV.com
IslamiCity Marriage Site www.icMarriage.com