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 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups – Women (Sisters)
Message Icon Topic: Choosing A Good Husband Post Reply Post New Topic
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 16 October 2011 at 9:27am
Seeia, I was making some fun that not all people looking to marry are "young"

How can we say no guarantee if some one choose a partner who is religious and a practicing Muslim?

Because what you "see" may not be what you get behind closed doors. How can you tell how someone will treat a wife, if you've never seen them with a wife?  And, even then, its about how to say someone is "practicing?" Just cause someone prays does not mean that treat people well for example. Someone can fast and do all they are supposed to do but berets and treats people horribly.

Plenty of people marry someone they thought was "religious" only to find it was on the surface or did not encompass all facets of life.



Edited by Hayfa - 16 October 2011 at 9:30am
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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seeja
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Quote seeja Replybullet Posted: 16 October 2011 at 9:40pm
Originally posted by Hayfa

Just cause someone prays does not mean that treat people well for example. Someone can fast and do all they are supposed to do but berets and treats people horribly.

 

I do agree with you.

But then what is the possible best way to find a good Husband for a Muslima.

In my personal experience My family choose a religious one for me as Husband "Subhanullah." and it worked out very good. So for me always religious choices are good.

 

Islam (Total Surrender, Submission, Obedience, Sincerity and Peace with Allah) is for all people, in all places and in all times
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seekshidayath
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 24 October 2011 at 6:46pm
As Salamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah

Had been your posts around sis Seeja. JazakAllah khayr for your contributions to the forum.

You are right, that religious choice is good and infact we are to look for such inclined people, but it;s happening that even such people who fast, offer salah reguarly,do not uphold good character, i mean aqlaaq ---. I had seen few such men beating wives --- in such sense i   agreed that we cannot gurantee .
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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seeja
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Quote seeja Replybullet Posted: 31 October 2011 at 4:31am
Originally posted by seekshidayath

As Salamu Alaikum wa rahmatullah

Had been your posts around sis Seeja. JazakAllah khayr for your contributions to the forum.

You are right, that religious choice is good and infact we are to look for such inclined people, but it;s happening that even such people who fast, offer salah reguarly,do not uphold good character, i mean aqlaaq ---. I had seen few such men beating wives --- in such sense i   agreed that we cannot gurantee .
 
 

JazakAllah khayr for your kind remarks.

Islam (Total Surrender, Submission, Obedience, Sincerity and Peace with Allah) is for all people, in all places and in all times
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Nausheen
 
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Quote Nausheen Replybullet Posted: 18 December 2011 at 11:29pm
Assalamualaikum,
 
SeeksHidayath's comment :
"The Muslim woman who understands the teachings of her religion has wise and correct standards when it comes to choosing a husband. She does not concern herself just with good looks, high status, a luxurious lifestyle or any of the other things that usually attract women. She looks into his level of religious commitment and his attitude and behaviour, because these are the pillars of a successful marriage, and the best features of a husband."
 
and Hayfa's comment :
"Because what you "see" may not be what you get behind closed doors. How can you tell how someone will treat a wife, if you've never seen them with a wife?  And, even then, its about how to say someone is "practicing?" Just cause someone prays does not mean that treat people well for example. Someone can fast and do all they are supposed to do but berets and treats people horribly."
 
Cannot agree more with both of you sisters.
Ive heared from a very wise and learned scholar that one should choose a partner who is 'on the same page of religion'.
 
Now that could be a tough choice to make as its not easy to find out what page of religion a person is ... nevertheless, marriage is by far the most important decision of one's life. One must not accept any proposal, just because the 'elders' are suggesting and they 'know' our best interests. When we are in our early twenties we presume the elders cannot be so drastically wrong - but I rather say to young sisters (and to the not so young as well)  its better to make your own mistakes than let others make them for you!
 
Loved your post Seekshidayath!
 
barak Allahu feeki,
nausheen
 
 


Edited by Nausheen - 18 December 2011 at 11:33pm
Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.
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Wardah
 
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Quote Wardah Replybullet Posted: 20 December 2011 at 7:49am
Aslamo alecum sisters

It is nice to read thread about choosing a husband, you all done well mashaAllah. However, I have a question here as in Islam women and men are not allowed to intermingle with their opposite sex on daily bases. So how a women or a man find a partner by them selves?? Like to know a person you have to be in contact with them for long time.
I understand a father or both parents should not force their daughter to marry a person she doesnt like, am agree. But how a women should find her husband by herself while she is not allowed to mix with men???

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Alina Khan
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Quote Alina Khan Replybullet Posted: 10 June 2012 at 5:12am
Sallam alay kum ,

Dnt you think that you are encouraging young females who will read your post to try and contact the groom before engagement and see themselves the kind of person he is,may be without telling their parents, email id, sms or phone numbers can be taken from any friend on Facebook.


Edited by Alina Khan - 10 June 2012 at 5:24am
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Chrysalis
 
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 11 June 2012 at 9:31pm
Originally posted by Alina Khan

Sallam alay kum ,

Dnt you think that you are encouraging young females who will read your post to try and contact the groom before engagement and see themselves the kind of person he is,may be without telling their parents, email id, sms or phone numbers can be taken from any friend on Facebook.


Its a good idea to talk to, get to know the groom within Halal limits before marriage. Once you are married, there is no turning back. Marriage can't be based on risks.

There is nothing wrong with encouraging young women to find out about their prospective groom  as much as they can.
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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