IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum: A serious question that I truly need help with.

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Originally posted by sayyeda786

Salam everyone who reads this, 

I was born a Muslim and have not practiced as much as I should have until recently. I always knew there was no God but Allah and Muhammad (PBUH) is his messenger. However, I did things in the past which I should not have - the specifics are unnecessary. However, I have been continuously praying and praying to Allah and have truly been asking for forgiveness. I am a much better muslim now, alhumdulilah, and abide by Islamic decorum. 

I have recently met a man whom I am suppose to wed. We were discussing our pasts and he asked me if I have even been with a man before, in any sense. The answer is yes, but I told him no because I do not want him to know of my past, but see me as pure (which I am in that sense). The only reason I told him no is because I truly asked for forgiveness and believe that Allah has forgiven me for all that I have done in my past. I don't think it is necessary for my soon to be husband to know any of this, but do you think it's wrong that I'm not telling him? 

I really don't want him to know and changed my ways completely solely for him. I know Allah has forgiven me, and I will continue praying that he does forgive me even further. 

I just need some advice as to what is the right thing to do. 

Jazak'Allah for anyone who can provide any insight. I truly appreciate it. 

Walaikum salaam wa rahmatullah

Sister, you were right by answering him with a NO. It was your past, also are we not allowed to expose our sins

Read this saying of our beloved Prophet { sallal lahu alayhi wasallam }

Abu Hurayrah reported: “The Messenger of Allaah said: “Every member of my nation will be forgiven, except those who expose their wrongdoings. An example of this is that of a man who commits a sin at night which Allaah then conceals, but, the next morning, he goes and says (to people): ‘I committed such and such a sin last night’ - while Allaah had kept it secret. During the night Allaah had concealed it, but in the morning he tore up the cover provided by Allaah Himself.” [Al-Bukhaari & Muslim] 

All Praises be to Allah, The Merciful, that the beauty of Islam is everytime we sincerly repent, we do get  remembered of the sins we committed despite repentance. And every time repent for that sin, we are not only forgiven, but also rewarded as that sin is turned into a good deed. SubhanAllah. So sister, you may remember your sin tomorrow and may feel that  you were wrong by hiding it with your husband, then don't pay an ear to those whisperings.

Wishing you a happy married life :)

Edited by seekshidayath - 03 July 2011 at 6:31am

Author	Message
seekshidayath Female Islam Senior Member Joined: 26 March 2006 Location: India Online Status: Offline Posts: 3338	Posted: 03 July 2011 at 6:30am
	*Originally posted by sayyeda786* Salam everyone who reads this, I was born a Muslim and have not practiced as much as I should have until recently. I always knew there was no God but Allah and Muhammad (PBUH) is his messenger. However, I did things in the past which I should not have - the specifics are unnecessary. However, I have been continuously praying and praying to Allah and have truly been asking for forgiveness. I am a much better muslim now, alhumdulilah, and abide by Islamic decorum. I have recently met a man whom I am suppose to wed. We were discussing our pasts and he asked me if I have even been with a man before, in any sense. The answer is yes, but I told him no because I do not want him to know of my past, but see me as pure (which I am in that sense). The only reason I told him no is because I truly asked for forgiveness and believe that Allah has forgiven me for all that I have done in my past. I don't think it is necessary for my soon to be husband to know any of this, but do you think it's wrong that I'm not telling him? I really don't want him to know and changed my ways completely solely for him. I know Allah has forgiven me, and I will continue praying that he does forgive me even further. I just need some advice as to what is the right thing to do. Jazak'Allah for anyone who can provide any insight. I truly appreciate it. Walaikum salaam wa rahmatullah Sister, you were right by answering him with a NO. It was your past, also are we not allowed to expose our sins Read this saying of our beloved Prophet { sallal lahu alayhi wasallam } Abu Hurayrah reported: “The Messenger of Allaah said: “Every member of my nation will be forgiven, except those who expose their wrongdoings. An example of this is that of a man who commits a sin at night which Allaah then conceals, but, the next morning, he goes and says (to people): ‘I committed such and such a sin last night’ - while Allaah had kept it secret. During the night Allaah had concealed it, but in the morning he tore up the cover provided by Allaah Himself.” [Al-Bukhaari & Muslim] All Praises be to Allah, The Merciful, that the beauty of Islam is everytime we sincerly repent, we do get remembered of the sins we committed despite repentance. And every time repent for that sin, we are not only forgiven, but also rewarded as that sin is turned into a good deed. SubhanAllah. So sister, you may remember your sin tomorrow and may feel that you were wrong by hiding it with your husband, then don't pay an ear to those whisperings. Wishing you a happy married life :) Edited by seekshidayath - 03 July 2011 at 6:31am
	Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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Indah Starter Joined: 05 July 2011 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2	Posted: 08 July 2011 at 2:58pm
	Salaam, Sister let me ask you, do you feel good and comfortable not telling him? how are you feeling now? if you feel good and comfortable than you don't have to tell him, you tell him or you are not the benefit is for you, not for him not for somebody else. It's for your peace of mind. you can keep your secret or your past as long as you want to. Trust life and let it flow, by any means is when you trust life it's mean you trust Allah, and you know Allah will never let you down, Allah will give you what the best for you. And if your heart keep telling you to tell him than tell him, if he is not accept your past it's mean he's not accept who you are and not deserve you, Allah will give you somebody else who deserve and love you unconditionally and Allah blessing will come to you.. amen... And when he accept you than you know he's the right person for you, the gift from Allah just for you. Just believe, trust Allah & life stay blessed
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honeto Senior Member Joined: 20 March 2008 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2340	Posted: 26 July 2011 at 4:35pm
	Salam, I think you did the right thing. Once Allah has guided you and you have asked His forgiveness and guidance, and you sincerely live up to the promise of obeying Allah it is your duty to not to talk about whatever bad you did in the past, if you want Allah to forgive you. So, even though he should not insist on knowing your past. Ask him if he is interested in your past of your future, only if he is being too investigative, I hope he is not. Pray to Allah often to bring peace, love and understanding between two of you. If he is also a practicing and good hearted Muslim he will understand and look forward, not backwards, Inshallah. May Allah make your path easy, Ameen. Hasan
	39:64 Proclaim: Is it some one other than God that you order me to worship, O you ignorant ones?"
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