I am woman in my mid 30s, who has been a muslim since 18. I came to Islam as a young woman on a spiritual journey for the truth. For several years now I have struggled with the idea of hijab. I have not struggled with WEARING hijab, I have struggled with all this hoopla that surrounds hijab. As a muslim woman, I feel that I need to wear loose clothing that covers my body and a scarf that covers my head so that I can be recognized as a muslim woman. When I see women , sheikhs and articles discussing women and hijab , I just cringe. My relationship with my Lord is so personal, so intimate, it feels so much more compelling than what I am wearing. At a recent Khutbah the imam said to the "young sisters" that it was summer time and they needed to not be tempted and make sure they cover up properly and wear their hijabs. That advice is great and all, but come one...don't you have something else to tell us women? Why not start by advising women to read to their children, to bond with them , to pray and make duas, to go on nature walks and contemplate the creation of Allah. Maybe it is because I am the mother of a teenage daughter now. I want her to feel that there is so much more to Islam then following rituals and wearing hijab. There should be a spiritual connection. It just irks me that so much attention is given to what muslim women wear. I have been interviewed about the hijab and I told them "I don't understand what the big deal is. It's just clothes." Before I was a muslim I work high heels and stockings and that was way more oppressive than covering my hair. I also don't think the sky is going to fall and lightning is going to strike if a strand of hair comes out or a woman pushes some sleeve up. In the summer I have taken to not tightening my hijab around my neck since heat escapes from your neck. My neck is not open, but my scarf is loose so there is some space under my chin. I feel that it is st**id and ridiculous that I even have to explain or justify why I am wearing my hijab a certain way. I also regularly go to a ( private)beach in my "burqini" and while swimming the top of my hair regulary sticks out. It's funny that I am afraid to invite any muslim families to come to the beach with us because they may think ill of me if they realize how reckless I am with strands of hair from the top of my head.

Thank you for letting me vent.

Montada,
I think you are missing the point regarding Coffeecat's post

I have no idea if you are male or female  (which you should identify BTW). She is not complaining about wearing it, or "lacks" info because she was not "born" a Muslim. Trust me lots of people born into Islam lack info..

What she is saying, at least how I read it, is  the over-emphasis in relation to what people focus on in regards to women. Dress, dress, dress.. its NO BETTER than all the other parts of society that over -focuses on how women "look." Women are continually judged by their outward selves. This is NOT true for men.  Muslims need to do better. Many of us became Muslim because we SHOULD be treated better. 

 I recently read about a person who went to toy stores and the focus for girl toys was revolved around their appearance and the boys were developing their mental and coordination abilities. We Muslims often do the SAME thing.. not all, but a lot of them do.

Going to a wedding next week, let me tell you, the focus / worry is not whether people will like me and enjoy my company but do I "dress" right for them.. sad in my mind.

Coffeecat: I bet you many of us limit our interactions with the Muslim community as its just too much. I'd rather be around my nonMuslim friends who talk about other things, than clothes, appearance, shoes etc. Let me tell you, you are NOT alone.

Oh and welcome to the forum both of you!

Hayfa


Edited by Hayfa - 23 June 2011 at 2:54pm

Assalaamaolaikum to all. I really tried my best not to comment on this topic. But I give up, I had to at least post something. I really do not know those muslim women who ONLY talk about in their day to day conversation about wearing the hijab. We are attracted to people who are like us. This is the same as in a relationship with are coworkers, our neighbors, or muslim friends as well. If you have friends that will promote goodness then I applaud you. If you want friends who will hold you accountable for what is right in islam and at the same time giving you the islamic respect that is needed, then please cherish those friends. As muslims it is our responsibilty to do this. If you choose to have friends, who will not do this, then that is a decision that you have made for yourself.  I do not know any muslim sisters who all the time talk about islamic clothings. I have friends that are nonbelievers and ones that are believers. I do not care how a person dresses, as long as that person is positive and want to be a good person, and treat people with equality and respect. If I see a muslim sister, uncovered, then I hope that I will not make a quick judgement on her. If I do then Astaghfilluah on me. But if she is giving false statments about the way muslims are required to dress then it is our obligation to defend what Allah has commanded for us. But I will say that one day, if Allah (SWT) blesses me to have a daughter then I hope that I will be one of the best role models for her, and yes our conversation will include how it is to cover her entire body, and other things as well. This conversation will also be included when my husband and I help my future son to choose his muslim wife. I do not understand how you are meeting friends who only talk about wearing the hijab? Where are you meeting these women?And  why can you not be honest with them and say, that you do not want to hear them correct you about the way you dress. That goes for anyone. If you think that covering your body is not important than that is the decision that you made for yourself. Who cares? If you are speaking about islam and the responsibilities that women are required to follow, and if it is incorrect, then that is a decision that you have made with yourself. Again, who cares about how you are dressing? I love my muslim sisters alot. And I love the conversations that we have with each other.  I also do not like it for someone to bash other muslims, even if you are a muslim yourself. But like I said if you are giving a false message about islam, then we are suppose to speak against it. This is our obligation as well.

alsalam alikom all

Edited by montada11 - 26 June 2011 at 8:28pm