Salaam,

Edited by semar - 18 May 2011 at 12:28pm

..and there is the importance of shurah - consultation in the family.  It is certainly not a dictatorial matter...at least not in my household anyway.

Walaakum salaams sister. I tried to post my comments twice but everything was erase mysteriously. Anyway, I do not have a problem with listening to my husband. He listens to me as well. We are best friends. Your statement is too vague so therefore I do not know how to answer it. I will say that both of you guys could be  right at the same time. Having a happy marriage means that you and he have to humble yourselves when there is a disagreement. If I am wrong, then I do not have to prove to my husband that my way is the right way. I will do what he tells me as long as it is not going against islam. He should do the same for me as well, which he does. And if he decides not to listen to me, then I have to still be true to myself. Which means that based on what he does, it should not change who you are and what your main focus is in life, which is to worship Allah (SWT). If you feel like you are being mistreated in any way, then you need to talk to him. If I feel mistreated by my husband, then I will go to him three times to ask him to change his action. I am the type of person who is straight forward, and so after three times if he did not change that behavior, then I will go to his family about him. If you do this then you should tell him first. I have a really close relationship with all his family members, and the last thing that he wants is for them to know that he is mistreating me. This goes both ways. I would not want my family to know if I was mistreating my husband. You and your husband should be best of friends, so therefore you need to talk to him about what you are telling us. If my husband was going against islam, then I would not follow him. If he tried not to give me my rights, then I would not listen to him.  Your house is suppose to be a place of freedom, and not a place of oppression. In order to get an idea of what you are talking about then you need to give us an example. It does not have to be your personal example, it could be a ficticious one. I still think that no matter what you say, your questions most likely would be answered from the first three repliers. I wish you the best.

Good answers above..

It really depends upon intentions.  If I feel I am "right" it all depends upon the matter.. if its minor and trivial. I am not sure either of us cares all that much.. when there are problems, I think that usually one side or the other is "abusing" too much.

The hard part is if someone is not raised well and bring a lot if stuff to adulthood and a marriage. There are tons of examples of this. That is the tough part..