IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum: One month of marriage, divorce already?

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Originally posted by muslima_03

Barakallahu fikoum for your advice and responses.

I pretty much had a "melt down" yesterday, and told him that I was ready to pack my bags and move home (I honestly was thinking it was coming to the end).  We had a long talk, and al hamdoulilah things are much better now.  We both made a list of things that we are each going to work on and communication is at the top of both of them!  This weekend there is an Islamic conference here, and I know there will be lots of vendors and I plan on picking up some books on marriage that we can both read.

May ALLAH guide us in the right path :)

Alhamdulilah that is great news Sister!

InshAllah that should get the ball rolling. Communication is key! I think its good that you made of list of improvement areas. I guess problems occur when we don't know what the other's expectations are... if we don't even know, how do we meet them?

A nice way to approach problems is to start with ourselves, so the other doesnt get defensive. I am planning on working on such & such thing, do you have any feedback? Maybe the other person will also then take an initiative.

All the best Sister! Btw, I read somewhere that Marriage is like a rocket, the first few years of marriage are the hardest, if you can survive them, the rest is smooth sailing inshAllah. Just like a Rocket spends the most energy when trying to break  the earth's gravity... thats the hardest part, and most rockets fail during the time. Once you break that force of gravity... smooth sailing :-). inshAllah. Right now is when you need all the effort and hardwork.

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Chrysalis Senior Member Joined: 25 November 2007 Online Status: Offline Posts: 2031	Posted: 27 April 2011 at 11:01pm
	*Originally posted by muslima_03* Barakallahu fikoum for your advice and responses. I pretty much had a "melt down" yesterday, and told him that I was ready to pack my bags and move home (I honestly was thinking it was coming to the end). We had a long talk, and al hamdoulilah things are much better now. We both made a list of things that we are each going to work on and communication is at the top of both of them! This weekend there is an Islamic conference here, and I know there will be lots of vendors and I plan on picking up some books on marriage that we can both read. May ALLAH guide us in the right path :) Alhamdulilah that is great news Sister! InshAllah that should get the ball rolling. Communication is key! I think its good that you made of list of improvement areas. I guess problems occur when we don't know what the other's expectations are... if we don't even know, how do we meet them? A nice way to approach problems is to start with ourselves, so the other doesnt get defensive. I am planning on working on such & such thing, do you have any feedback? Maybe the other person will also then take an initiative. All the best Sister! Btw, I read somewhere that Marriage is like a rocket, the first few years of marriage are the hardest, if you can survive them, the rest is smooth sailing inshAllah. Just like a Rocket spends the most energy when trying to break the earth's gravity... thats the hardest part, and most rockets fail during the time. Once you break that force of gravity... smooth sailing :-). inshAllah. Right now is when you need all the effort and hardwork.
	"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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abuayisha Senior Member Joined: 05 October 1999 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3993	Posted: 28 April 2011 at 7:07am
	So in keeping with the rocket analogy, I guess "midlife crisis" would be a rocket reentry into earth's atmosphere. If it doesn't disintegrate, or crash and burn; smooth sailing.....
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alderwish Starter Joined: 11 February 2009 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 9	Posted: 29 August 2011 at 10:52am
	salam alykum, May Allah grant u guidance , ukht, Allah will provide with a better husband inshaallah . As long as you are maintaining your salah, fasting and other obligations. Allah will keep you in his mercy. I am looking for a wife right now and the above are the main requirements. Salam alykum
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