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natalie
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Quote natalie Replybullet Topic: sisters looking for practising brothers??
    Posted: 16 March 2011 at 5:49am
Hey my beautiful sisters!

Salam alaikum wa rahmatulah wa barakatu

This is my first time on islamcity and it seems a brilliant site to meet new sisters.

My husband is always asking me if i know any practising sisters who are looking to get married and subhanallah all the sisters i know where i live, (south wales) are married! So im branching out lol and this may be the perfect place inshallah!

Mashallah my hub is studying in madinah university at the moment and has a few friends and my brother in law who are looking for a wife. I pray that Allah makes it easy for them ameen.

Are there any sisters looking for practising brothers??? As far as ive been told they are interested in revert sisters.

Any1 out there lol!

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seeja
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Quote seeja Replybullet Posted: 16 May 2011 at 8:39pm

Assalam-u-Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

Can I have the ethnicity? I mean the country of origin of groom.

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Quote lady Replybullet Posted: 16 May 2011 at 9:39pm
Walaakum Salaams sister Natalie. Can I ask you why are your brother in law and his friends looking for revert sisters? Why would they not be interested in just practicing muslim sisters.  My advice to them is that they should try to marry within their community first. Are there no single muslim sisters in their community? I just think that sometimes marrying outside of the community could potentially be dangerious. It is easier to know the reputation of a future husband or wife from the community that you are expose to.  I wish them the best.
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 17 May 2011 at 9:29pm
Salaams,

I am not sure this is the best place either. Islamicity does have a marriage section.. We are spread out all over and distance relationships are tough. And revert sisters have the toughest of all.  on one hand many are sincere in their efforts to be good Muslims, on the other hand, for many "born" Muslims its a big adjustment. We are not from where they are and they expect or are used to women like the ones they grew up with.  They like our skills to be be more independent and yet they might not like our independent minds..ad we might know our rights and speak up.. lol



When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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seeja
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Quote seeja Replybullet Posted: 22 May 2011 at 9:01pm
Assalam-u-Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

Dear Sister Lady

I would like to know which type of marriage will be better to form an Islamic family, a revert Man/ Woman marrying a revert or marrying a born Muslima/Muslim. As far as I am concerned if any single one among the family is a born Muslim/Muslima it will be better for them to lead the true Islamic life. There will be an added advantage also if one among them knowing the Arabic also, I mean from the Arab community. In order to learn and practice the religion of Islam in the correct way we need to go deep into the subject.

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Quote lady Replybullet Posted: 23 May 2011 at 9:28am
Walaakum Salaams Seeja. It does not matter if a person is a revert or a born muslim. To even say born muslim is incorrect, because every human being is born muslim. I still think that a practicing muslim is a practicing muslim. The same muslim you will see in japan is the same you will see in the states, etc. The person must be a practicing muslim in order to see few differences. If someone reads the quran in his or her language, it should still have the same meaning. So therefore, there will be no excuse for someone to make the statement, " well I did not know that we have to do this or that." Because it is stated clearly in the quran what are responsibilities are as muslims. And just because someone is a born muslim does not mean that he or she is leading the true islamic way. It still goes back to if the person is truely practicing or not. Also too, if someone is a newly revert muslim, and that person is truly practicing with the limited amount of knowledge he or she knows, then he/she is still practicing the true islamic way in his/her own pace. If someone was born in the arabic community and speak the language he does not get more blessings for that compared to someone who is learning the quran in his own language. PLease correct me if I am wrong.
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seeja
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Quote seeja Replybullet Posted: 24 May 2011 at 4:09am
Originally posted by lady

Walaakum Salaams Seeja. It does not matter if a person is a revert or a born muslim. To even say born muslim is incorrect, because every human being is born muslim. I still think that a practicing muslim is a practicing muslim. The same muslim you will see in japan is the same you will see in the states, etc. The person must be a practicing muslim in order to see few differences. If someone reads the quran in his or her language, it should still have the same meaning. So therefore, there will be no excuse for someone to make the statement, " well I did not know that we have to do this or that." Because it is stated clearly in the quran what are responsibilities are as muslims. And just because someone is a born muslim does not mean that he or she is leading the true islamic way. It still goes back to if the person is truely practicing or not. Also too, if someone is a newly revert muslim, and that person is truly practicing with the limited amount of knowledge he or she knows, then he/she is still practicing the true islamic way in his/her own pace. If someone was born in the arabic community and speak the language he does not get more blessings for that compared to someone who is learning the quran in his own language. PLease correct me if I am wrong.

Asslamu Alaikum

You are absolutely correct. All the Muslims are same in one belief and in guidance of one faith irrespective of their country, sect, clour etc.

I only want to tell that the presence of a Muslim within the family who can understand Arabic well may be an added advantage.

Expressing the Muslims as practicing and non practicing is the correct way than to use the word of born and revert.

So if we follow like this, all the revert will come under the category of practicing Muslims, why because they selected the faith by choice and not by chance as in the case of one who born in a Muslim family. For a revert person who stars as a practicing Muslim may need help of somebody who knows the religion deeper, so it will be good to have somebody like this within the family itself.

 

Expecting more comments and suggestions on this subject.

 

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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 26 May 2011 at 4:31am
Asalam Alaikum,

You are correct in that finding a "practicing" Muslim with a strong knowledge is preferable.  But that is true for any spouse-finding a good practicing partner.  All too often culture trumps religion.
 
The issues for reverts are not only connected to knowledge. I think  this is less so now then before with things like internet, classes at masjids etc. To find the right partner in life is very much cultural. Lots of people can have good "knowledge" does not make them good teachers.  Many people cannot step aside their own boxes of their lives and look at things from a different perspective- how it feels, how westerners learn- methodologies, having patience etc etc.  Too often they want the wife to cook like mama back home and treat that as Islamic.  The spouse needs also to be understanding of western society. Reverts have families that are not Muslim. Many conflicts happen on that end. Just as with other families, you marry not just the spouse but join with the family.



Edited by Hayfa - 26 May 2011 at 4:51am
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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