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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: Divorce and new relationship - help! Post Reply Post New Topic
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princess
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Quote princess Replybullet Topic: Divorce and new relationship - help!
    Posted: 01 November 2010 at 1:22am
Hi! I am 26 year old Christian - Orthodox girl who lives and works in United Arab Emirates. A month back I have met a guy of the same age whom I like very much. He is Emarati (muslim) and he likes me too. His family knows about me and they are happy as long as he is happy i.e. they don't have any problems with my being non-muslim and I am very happy for that. I was married before and now divorced from a man of the same religion as mine. He was not treating me well and that caused a divorce. My boyfriend is very liberal, open-minded and and not that much religious, but I am embarassed to tell him I was married before. I am embarassed and afraid I would lose him if i tell him that. At the same time, i want to tell him about that because he deserves to know it, as it is a part of my life and it is past. My boyfriend loves me and i know that, his family likes me too, and i love him. My question is that if anyone has ever been in this or similar kind of a situation and if this detail from my past can spoil my relationship. I am planning to tell him about my past marriage this week providing that he doesn't tell anything to anyone about the same. I don't have kids and i was married for a short period of time when my family realized that am not happy at all after what the divorce happened. Please, if someone can advise me because this is killing me and i want to tell my boyfriend about this. I don't want to lose him.
 
Thank you in advance.
 
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Pati
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Quote Pati Replybullet Posted: 01 November 2010 at 3:36pm
Originally posted by princess

Hi! I am 26 year old Christian - Orthodox girl who lives and works in United Arab Emirates. A month back I have met a guy of the same age whom I like very much. He is Emarati (muslim) and he likes me too. His family knows about me and they are happy as long as he is happy i.e. they don't have any problems with my being non-muslim and I am very happy for that. I was married before and now divorced from a man of the same religion as mine. He was not treating me well and that caused a divorce. My boyfriend is very liberal, open-minded and and not that much religious, but I am embarassed to tell him I was married before. I am embarassed and afraid I would lose him if i tell him that. At the same time, i want to tell him about that because he deserves to know it, as it is a part of my life and it is past. My boyfriend loves me and i know that, his family likes me too, and i love him. My question is that if anyone has ever been in this or similar kind of a situation and if this detail from my past can spoil my relationship. I am planning to tell him about my past marriage this week providing that he doesn't tell anything to anyone about the same. I don't have kids and i was married for a short period of time when my family realized that am not happy at all after what the divorce happened. Please, if someone can advise me because this is killing me and i want to tell my boyfriend about this. I don't want to lose him.
 
Thank you in advance.
 
Hi dear,
 
Just think what would you like him to do in case you where on his place. I think you already know the answer.
 
If you explained to him the situation I think he would understand it. But what is difficult to explain is that after one month, you didn't talk about something like a divorce!!!
 
Dear, be opened to him if you really want to start something serious, and don't hide anything, obviously, asking him to do the same. The relations between men&women are difficult enough and you will find other kind of troubles, so if you can avoid them, that's perfect.
 
All the best and good luck Wink
 
Patricia
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.
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princess
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Quote princess Replybullet Posted: 02 November 2010 at 12:03am
Hi Patricia!
 
Thank you for your message. Appreciated.
 
I know myself that I should tell him. It is just that am very worried and embarassed. That is the reason why I have not told him yet. I am very open and honest person and this is my first relationship after the divorce and I feel really insecure.
I will tell him, and i think that he will understand even the fact I didn't tell him about it for a month. He has a very nice opinion about me and he told me that so many times.
I just hope that he will not change towards me because I really don't want to lose him.
 
Thanks once again.
 
 
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princess
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Quote princess Replybullet Posted: 08 November 2010 at 4:51am
Hi Patricia,
 
I just wanted to let you know that I told him everything and that all is fine. We love each other even more now as we are so open and honest with each other :-).
 
Thank you for your reply and all the best!
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Pati
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Quote Pati Replybullet Posted: 09 November 2010 at 3:06pm
Originally posted by princess

Hi Patricia,
 
I just wanted to let you know that I told him everything and that all is fine. We love each other even more now as we are so open and honest with each other :-).
 
Thank you for your reply and all the best!
 
You are welcome, dear. It's always nice to hear good news. Take it just like another lesson learned, and don't hide from him anything to make the relation opened and stronger. It really works.
 
Take care and love each other, because this is the most beautiful thing in this life.
 
I wish you all the best and a life full of happiness.
 
Hugs,
Patricia
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.
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