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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: Conversion Crisis Post Reply Post New Topic
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MasryQT
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Quote MasryQT Replybullet Topic: Conversion Crisis
    Posted: 29 July 2010 at 4:41pm
I have been practicing Islam for a few years now. I have hidden this fact from my mom the whole time. As Ramadan approaches, I am looking to strengthen my Iman and have decided to start wearing hijab. This excites me and scares me senseless. There is something inside me craving the hijab but my mom will explode! I know I shouldn't fear my mom, only Allah, but it's not so easy as it sounds to deny your parent. I am 30, yes, I shouldn't be so sensitive -- it's not like I am a confused teenager. But even at 30, your parents are important. My father has passed and only she remains. The rest of my family supports me. We are Greeks from Egypt, so all my dad's family knows and understands Islam. My mother, however, is American and perhaps the most ignorant of all of them.

She calls Muslimas "dumb b**ches" and that girls who wear hijab are ignorant and cater to men. She will tell me that I am letting my boyfriend tell me what to do and that I am a *****. Once he asked me for a coffee, which I made for him. Later that evening she's like "Oh, what does he beat you into serving him? He tells you get a coffee and you hop to like a good little Muslim slave housewife!" She's unbearable about this and she doesn't even try to understand Islam. I can tell her about this burning in my soul, my love for making Dua and wanting to cover and she will disown me and tell me I am a liar - someone else is making up my mind for this. But this is from a woman void of ANY faith. She thinks God is an alien from another planet who came here to inhabit this one and have humans slave for Him (God forbid)! Talk about whacked, she makes Scientologists sound coherent....

Please advise and pray for me! I need all the help I can get and any good advise!!
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 29 July 2010 at 8:39pm
Asalaam Alaikum,

i am sorry your mom has such an attitude. I can honestly say that your actions will not change her thoughts persay. She has terrible thoughts, she will probably have them anyway.

It is up to Allah to open up her mind and heart. And probably only time will tell that you are who you are, Islam has made you a better person, and that Islam is not what she thinks. I think those who protest the loudest, fear something.. something they may not be willing to acknowledge.

Do you live with her sister?

We should not be rude or mean to our parents, but we are not "punching bags" either. We should not "diss" our parents but ultimately your faith is your faith.

I am sure others will have some more thoughts.

My Duas for you.
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 30 July 2010 at 10:59am

There is no easy answer given the negative impression of Islam today in the west.  I believe it will ultimately be up to you to show through your character how your new faith has changed your life for the better.  It will take time and plenty of patience.  The easy answer is to dismiss mom as an Islamophob, (http://getrealanswers.org/) but you must prove from your actions that she is wrong about Islam.  Invite her to lunch and poor out your heart.  Be kind, firm and direct.  The blessed month of Ramadan is an excellent time to don hijab and practice your faith to the best of your ability.  We ask Allah, Most High, to make you firm in your religion, and ease your burden.

“He who displeased Allah for seeking the pleasure of people, Allah is displeased with him and those people are also displeased, for pleasing whom he had earned Allah’s displeasure. And he who pleases Allah, although by it he displeased people, Allah is pleased with him, and also those people whom he had displeased for pleasing Allah become pleased with him. Allah makes him splendid and his speech and acts in the eyes of others beautiful.”
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Quote xx__Ace__xx Replybullet Posted: 01 August 2010 at 9:59am
Am really sorry to hear about your situation. I know it isn't as easy and comfortable as it sounds but, be optimistic and keep your faith in Allah. Try and attain good mannerisms and habits, regardless of how she treats you, as this probably is one method through which you could try and show her that Islam isn't really what her ignorant belief about it is. Hopefully Allah will enlighten her, and everything will get better Insha'Allah, you have my prayers!
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seekshidayath
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 16 August 2010 at 5:32pm
As Salamu Alaikum

Sis read this ayah ;

"And whosoever is conscious of Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He (Allah) will make a way for him to get out (from) every (difficulty) , and He will provide him from (sources) he could never imagine." [Quran 65:2-3]

Have trust in Him. I understand your fears. As been advised by our members, you shud prove her perceptions regarding Islam and muslims as wrong thru your actions. Also a reminder that you are to be kind to her as even non-muslims parents are to respected. Kindly handle the situation with lots of patience. It's a test from Allah swt to you. Remember, you are never alone. Allah swt is with you. You shall easily pass this phase, insha Allah, with fruitful results.

Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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NuraB
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Quote NuraB Replybullet Posted: 04 October 2010 at 12:27pm
Salam MasryQT

I read about your dilemma with wanting to wear hijab but you feared your mother's reaction. I noted that you posted in August. Would you kindly provide an update. I am interested to know how it went for you with Ramadhan and attempting hijab.


Thank you in advance for your kind attention


N.B.
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rememberallah
 
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Quote rememberallah Replybullet Posted: 11 December 2010 at 11:03pm
if you seek guidence for anyone from Allah, dont argue with that person, a billion arguments will do nothing for someone whom Allah doesnt want to guide, and even one argument is enough for one whom Allah wants to guide.
if you want guidence for anyone from Allah, do these, -
1 - ask that person to do charity secretly in which that person doesnt get anything in return,
2 - ask that person to forgive whatever wrongs have been done to him/her
3 - ask that person to love the one whom he hates, if you do good to those who do good, what good have you done?? if you do good to those who do bad to you, then indeed you have done good.
if a person comes on any of these Allah starts to guide that person. "Allah guides whom he wills and leaves astray whom he wills" i have told you the will of God, so seek to fulfill it.
peace be on those whom God thinks fit for his guidence.
May God guide all.
The whole world is like Hazrat Umar but no one is like his sister and brother in law.
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