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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
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marie-london
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Quote marie-london Replybullet Posted: 23 July 2010 at 10:44am
i do believe that islam does not treat women fair, and a man in islam is taking another wife is only an excuse to have an affair or to take a mistress... in any religion and way in society it is still a man world, i too have read in quran that a man is allowed to beat his wife under some circustances but must be careful how he does it .... it makes me sick, very rare in most soceities you dont find the women beating the husband, i also agree with pati that western men are in for the long haul and because of choice you hope to find real love and muslim men its more of a status and obligation (correct me if i am wrong)
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Chrysalis
 
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 23 July 2010 at 11:05am
Originally posted by marie-london

i do believe that islam does not treat women fair, and a man in islam is taking another wife is only an excuse to have an affair or to take a mistress... in any religion and way in society it is still a man world, i too have read in quran that a man is allowed to beat his wife under some circustances but must be careful how he does it .... it makes me sick, very rare in most soceities you dont find the women beating the husband, i also agree with pati that western men are in for the long haul and because of choice you hope to find real love and muslim men its more of a status and obligation (correct me if i am wrong)


You are entitled to your opinion Marie, however a lot of times the experiences we have had can effect the way we perceive things. Your husband's behavior, and him associating it with Islam and "finding his faith" might have some contribution towards how you feel. I wouldn't blame you.

Probably a lot of non-Muslim women who have been in relationships with Muslim men feel this way. Unfortunately this is because the Muslim men they are in a relationship with are not the "best pick" of the lot - Islamically speaking (or otherwise). Often times the women are sincere and genuine and actually love the man - but the man is just in it for material reasons, fun, money, green-card etc.

Just curious, where did you first meet your husband ? Many women will meet such men at Pubs or parties . . . while it is perfectly acceptable behavior in a nonmuslim society, (where good non-muslim men could be found) - you will never find a good Muslim husband in such places.

Chances are, if he is willing to date you, chase you, flirtatious advances, sleep with you, is drinking - then he is not a good Muslim man to start with . . . . so the chances of it working out are slim. Ouch. It will not work out because he is not a good man and so is not likely to give you the respect you deserve. This is why majority of times, the nonmuslim women find out there "Muslim" boyfriend or husband was a bad egg . . . .

This doesn't mean all are like that - Or Islam is like that !!!

The best advise is for non-muslim women to stick to non-muslim men - because you can read him better, because you know the culture and background he's from. You could probably tell if he was a bad-egg. He doesn't have any ulterior motives . . .



"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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marie-london
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Quote marie-london Replybullet Posted: 23 July 2010 at 1:29pm

i think there is alot of truth in what you said about meeting me willing to party drink and sleep with me outside marriage should of indicated to be that he was not a good muslim man, (i was very naive at the time) and what you say about sticking to own culture because can read him better and know our culture there may be some substance in this coz i known him for 15 years and i am good judge of charater and what scares me so much about all this how i could of got it so wrong and how made me doubt my whole journey with him.
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Ron Webb
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Quote Ron Webb Replybullet Posted: 23 July 2010 at 3:44pm

Originally posted by Chrysalis

Originally posted by Ron Webb

No doubt there are good and bad people everywhere, but no other religion enables mistreatment of women, or subjugates them to men, like Islam.

Somebody needs to pass on this information to the poor women who keep converting to Islam !

Not that it would make any difference.   It's been widely known for decades that smoking is bad for you too, but young women in particular are taking up the habit by the millions.  The sad fact is that most people (men and women) do not make rational choices.

Addeenul ‘Aql – Religion is intellect.
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 24 July 2010 at 12:44am
hello Ron
 
I feel you are here to mis inform people about islam,dont say anything without full information,the sentence 'I think' shows you heard from somewhere that it is written in quran and hadith that it is allowed to beat your wife.
 
No use but still a try to clarify this.
 
Mohammed s.a.w said (sorry not the eaxct words)if your wife is in to something bad do not leave her at first intance,there 3 steps.
 
Advise her with love
 
if she does not listen still
 
turn your back and do not talk to her
 
still not
 
hit her with a miswak (a little Root stick used to brush teeth) on her shoulder very lightly
 
and at last stage you may divorce her.
 
Ron i know you will find something bad in this also so no use to explain or argue further.
 
 
 


Edited by fais - 24 July 2010 at 12:44am
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Ron Webb
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Quote Ron Webb Replybullet Posted: 24 July 2010 at 6:33am
Originally posted by fais

hit her with a miswak (a little Root stick used to brush teeth) on her shoulder very lightly
Reference please?  Is this an authentic hadith?
Addeenul ‘Aql – Religion is intellect.
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 24 July 2010 at 7:05am

Hello Ron,

This is an authentic hadith,now i dont know wots your intention now.
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Ron Webb
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Quote Ron Webb Replybullet Posted: 24 July 2010 at 12:19pm
Originally posted by fais

This is an authentic hadith,now i dont know wots your intention now.
 
Really?  From which collection, and what does the hadith actually say?
Addeenul ‘Aql – Religion is intellect.
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