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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 12 July 2010 at 7:27am
there are so many british and american woman married to saudi's and now they are one of the happiest muslim woman speaking fluent arabi like arabs.saudi arabia is the safest place for woman in this world
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martha
 
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Quote martha Replybullet Posted: 12 July 2010 at 10:12am
Hayfa,

I agree, its the kidnapping of kids that would concern me the most. It happens more than we care to admit.

I watched a great movie with Sally Field called 'NOt Without My Daughter'. Well worth watching if you get the time, lol.

some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set
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Ron Webb
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Quote Ron Webb Replybullet Posted: 12 July 2010 at 5:50pm

Originally posted by fais

I am from saudi and the information which ron gave that woman has little right is not true,...

Here is the official advice from the Government of Canada regarding women travelling to Saudi Arabia:

"... women, including Canadian women married to Saudi men, unmarried Canadian daughters of Saudi fathers, and children of Saudi fathers, including Canadian sons under the age of 21, need the permission of the Saudi male head of the household to leave the country. Furthermore, it should be noted that married women, no matter their husband’s citizenship, require their husband's permission to leave the country, while all unmarried women, regardless of age, and unmarried men under the age of 21, require the permission of their father or male guardian to leave the country, irrespective of the father's  or guardian’s citizenship.

A Saudi man who wishes to marry a foreign woman is required by law to seek the permission of Saudi authorities. He must also sign a document that gives irrevocable permission to his foreign wife and the children born of their union to travel in and out of the country without restrictions. This law has been in effect since February 20, 2008, and is not retroactive. Nevertheless, the foreign spouse and their children may still have difficulty leaving Saudi Arabia as they please. Also, if a couple consisting of a foreigner and a Saudi living in Saudi Arabia divorce, the foreign parent cannot under any circumstances leave the country with the children born of their union even if he or she is granted custody rights."
http://www.voyage.gc.ca/countries_pays/report_rapport-eng.asp?id=258000


...speacially a british women is immpossible for someone to harm them as the british embassy is very strong to protect their citzen.

Assuming she can even get to an embassy.  Consider the plight of Nazia Quazi, a 24-year-old citizen of Canada and India who was trapped in Saudi Arabia by her father:

"Since then, Nazia said, she has sought various ways out of Saudi Arabia. Last October, Nazia applied for, and received, an emergency certificate from the Indian Embassy, but was told she still needed an exit visa to leave -- an exit visa that her father, or "guardian," would have to sign for. The Canadian embassy in Riyadh recently issued Nazia a temporary passport. But once again, in Saudi Arabia, a valid passport is not sufficient to allow a woman to leave the country.

Representatives from the Canadian Embassy, the Indian Embassy, and the Saudi Passport Office all agree - Nazia needs her father's permission to leave the country. It doesn't matter that she's an adult with a degree in computer science from the University of Ottawa. What matters in Saudi Arabia is that she's a woman.
...

Human Rights Watch spoke with university scholars who not only needed permission to attend school, but who weren't allowed off college grounds unless they were picked up by a guardian or a designated driver (women in Saudi Arabia aren't permitted to drive). We interviewed a woman whose sister needed approval to have an IV inserted. A mother in Saudi Arabia can't open up a bank account for her child, enroll her children in school, or travel with her children without express permission.

And if a woman's guardian becomes physically violent with her? It will be nearly impossible to have him removed as guardian. Besides, how can a woman file a domestic violence report - a woman needs permission to file a criminal complaint at the police station.

To help Nazia return to Canada, Human Rights Watch contacted the Saudi Human Rights Commission and asked it to intervene. Finally, at the request of the Canadian Embassy, it took up her case - but as of recently, it has failed to develop a strategy for her release."
http://www.hrw.org/en/news/2010/05/07/trapped-saudi-arabia


If u really love him than support him

Here's a crazy thought: if he loves her, why didn't he support her?  He was the one who ran off to Saudi Arabia and "started a new life".  He is the one who is still refusing to accept her as she is -- as she was when he married her.  She has respected his religion, but has he respected hers?  Is there truly "no compulsion in religion"?

ur husband loves u and ur kids thats he is back.

Sorry, but I just don't buy it.  He doesn't want love, he wants ownership.  Which he can get, in Saudi Arabia.

Addeenul ‘Aql – Religion is intellect.
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 12 July 2010 at 10:32pm

Dear Ron,

you will not realise un less u come to saudi,if enter a mall you will feel woman are just enjoying and their husbands are at their service,there are cases but not as you mentioned,i have not heard of a single kidnapping case of parent kidnapping,laws are there which not easy to understand by expat but no country is perfect,western countries despite their so called declaration that provides security to woman has the higest rate of rapes murders and so many bad things,there are so many cases i heard in u.s where the husband confines his wife to the house and that too without food.

no nation is perfect,and as far as this lady is concerned,both love each other and if the trust is lost to that extent than i dont think she loves his husband,living with him for so many years she is the best person to decide the level of trust,by giving examples we will only fill her mind with satanic whisperings.believe me she will repent if she let this guy go.
 
If patti had a bad experience that does not mean it will be applicable to all such couples,i know many american woman who has accepted the saudi culture and they are really very happy.
 
if she is afarid so he can come on job visa,british get good jobs here.
 
 
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marie-london
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Quote marie-london Replybullet Posted: 13 July 2010 at 1:37am
hi all it is cetainly becoming interesting all the views, but i have decided along with my two children that we will be staying in england, i would not like to live in the saudi society and even though i agree with the 5 pillars of islam i do not agree with many rules around islam and what i am most finding difficult and somewhat confusing is the whether some of the things my husband wants like no alochol in the house and for me to go out and drink if i wish, if we was to go for dinner i would not be allowed to order a glass of wine but if went out with company then it would be ok, he does not want a christmas tree in the house the children have been brought up in this way and how recently i find him on dating site stating he has never been married and is looking for a good muslim wife from saudi or egypt which i have no knowledge that he wanted this .... please someone put me straight and tell me that this is not the muslim religion and is more culture and the person he is .... i can scared coz the man i thought i knew after 14 years i feel is a total  stranger now, i cant talk to him anymore
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 13 July 2010 at 8:11am

Hello sister,

hope you I could explain you,well think ten times and decide,there is always a way out,no men or women are perfect.

if u accept islam it will be good in your interest but unfortunately u dont have good people arround to show islamic values,i have seen mostly woman follow the relegion of their husband,so its no harm if you try to learn or even pretend.but if u have no luv for him then wot do i say,be with him for childrens sake.

hope my words can save your marraige.
kadarallahu wa masha alaa
 
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Pati
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Quote Pati Replybullet Posted: 13 July 2010 at 12:28pm
Originally posted by marie-london

hi all it is cetainly becoming interesting all the views, but i have decided along with my two children that we will be staying in england, i would not like to live in the saudi society and even though i agree with the 5 pillars of islam i do not agree with many rules around islam and what i am most finding difficult and somewhat confusing is the whether some of the things my husband wants like no alochol in the house and for me to go out and drink if i wish, if we was to go for dinner i would not be allowed to order a glass of wine but if went out with company then it would be ok, he does not want a christmas tree in the house the children have been brought up in this way and how recently i find him on dating site stating he has never been married and is looking for a good muslim wife from saudi or egypt which i have no knowledge that he wanted this .... please someone put me straight and tell me that this is not the muslim religion and is more culture and the person he is .... i can scared coz the man i thought i knew after 14 years i feel is a total  stranger now, i cant talk to him anymore
Dear Marie,
 
I can ensure you that Islam is a beautiful religion, but there are not more than few hundreds of straight muslims (I am afraid from telling this in this forum, in a Muslim house, but that's something I can see everytime I come to the Mosque).
 
What your husband is doing has nothing to do with the believes, with the Islam. His duties are with his wife and children, that means with you all.
 
You are not guilty, it's only a cultural thing, you were not wrong, and even if you become a perfect Muslim wife, it would never be enough for him, be sure. Just face him and tell him your decision.
 
You have so many rights, and you are a grown woman, a experienced mother... you deserve more than what he is offering you. Just tell him to choose, and in case he is choosing you, try to make the family life as much smooth as possible, but in case he is not choosing you... just go ahead with your children, and never forget that you are not alone.
 
Dear, big hugs and don't think this is Islam, those are just st**id wrongly called "muslim" men who are losing their heads and distroying some lives in between.
 
Patricia
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 13 July 2010 at 10:04pm
Hello Patti,
 
I am muslim and i do agree that islam is the best relegion and unfortunitely the people you often encounter give wrong message of islam by their act or behaviour.
i was just saying that if the relegion is good than its no harm in fact on the day of judgement you will be judged according to your belief.i know a relegion cannot be forced it has to come from your heart.i was just concerened of the children and about this lady also its not that easy to have someone good,so why not give this one a try.
 
Regards
Faisal
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