Active TopicsActive Topics  Display List of Forum MembersMemberlist  CalendarCalendar  Search The ForumSearch  HelpHelp
  RegisterRegister  LoginLogin  Old ForumOld Forum  Twitter  Facebook
Advertisement:
         

Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: accepting a muslim household Post Reply Post New Topic
Page  of 11 Next >>
Author Message
marie-london
Female Christian
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 19 March 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17
Quote marie-london Replybullet Topic: accepting a muslim household
    Posted: 19 March 2010 at 8:01am

I AM A WESTERN WOMAN WITH A ROMAN CHATOLIC FAITH BUT NOT PRATISING OVER THE YEARS, I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO A EGYPT MUSLIM MAN FOR 13 YEARS AND HAVE TWO CHILDREN MY CHILDREN HAVE BEEN BOUGHT UP IN A WESTERN WAY OF LIFE,  UNTIL THE LAST 3/4 YEARS MY HUSBAND DID NOT FOLLOW THIS MUSLIM RELIGION... BUT HAS NOW RETURN TO HIS FAITH ... WE PARTED 18 MONTHS AGO, WHERE HE STARTED A NEW LIFE IN SAUDI, BUT WE NEVER DIVORCED LAST YEAR HE ASKED ME BACK AND WE ARE NOW BACK TOGETHER BETWEEN THE 2 COUNTRIES, HE HAS REQUESTED I LIVE IN SAUDI WITH HIM WHICH I CANNOT DO AND HAS AGREED TO MOVE BACK TO ENGLAND PERMANTELY WITH ME AND THE CHILDREN BUT ON THE CONDITION THAT WE HAVE A MUSLIM HOUSEHOLD AND IN HOPE THAT I BECOME A MUSLIM WIFE.  I HAVE ALSO RESPECTED HIS RELIGION AND HAVE BEEN DOING MY BEST AS A WIFE TO PRATICE HIS RELIGION WITH HIM, IE NO PORK IN THE HOUSE, FESTIVE CELEBRATION ETC .  NOT SURE WHY HE WOULD WANT TO NOW DECIEDE NOT TO ACCEPT ME AND WHAT A MUSLIM HOUSEHOLD WITH MEAN FOR ME AND THE CHILDREN .. I LOVE MY HUSBAND VERY MUCH AND I DONT WANT TO LOSE HIM BUT I DONT WANT TO AGREE TO SOMETHING I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT



Edited by marie-london - 19 March 2010 at 8:15am
IP IP Logged
Hayfa
Female  Islam
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 07 June 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2370
Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 22 March 2010 at 10:10am
Hi Marie,

nice to meet you...
First I would ask him what he means by Islamic household...what does he envision? Based on what you did before, how does he see it to be different? Does he want you to wear hijab? Does he want you to do Shahada? There are different areas..

Why he may want you back is obvious, he cares for you and in Islam, marriage is important and you don't leave it lightly.

What does he mean by "A Muslim household?"

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
IP IP Logged
marie-london
Female Christian
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 19 March 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17
Quote marie-london Replybullet Posted: 22 March 2010 at 10:27am
hi, thank u so much for replying i am going out of my mind, things have more on slightly and while i know my husband loves me i am not sure whether this is a relgion thing or whether its more culture.  He has gave me choices i live iin saudi or i become and muslim wife and live with muslim rules or he will leave us... he has told my son that how can he love him if he is not muslim and how can he has a son that is not muslim, alll this was ok for him the last 10 years,  there are other things like a business in saudi and the strain of living between countries, i recently saw a picture of a girl with my husband and both wearing rings, he said this was taken when we split up 15 months ago and he was going to engage her but his family would not accept him as he was married, and now i get this demands.  we are all in tears
IP IP Logged
abuayisha
 
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 05 October 1999
Online Status: Online
Posts: 4403
Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 22 March 2010 at 11:47am
Does he currently have British citizenship? 
IP IP Logged
marie-london
Female Christian
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 19 March 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17
Quote marie-london Replybullet Posted: 22 March 2010 at 12:13pm

thanks for your reply - yes he has held a british passport for many years and we have lead a non muslim life for many years in the uk and europe, and last few years he has been praticising his faith and we have celebrated with him... he has never put pressure on me to change my faith and we have alll had open discussion on what we believe, he has a business in saudi and lives between the two countries, which is not working and the condition of him returning for good would be for me to change my faith..... some times i think this is for culture reasons and to quieten me now a little

IP IP Logged
Hayfa
Female  Islam
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 07 June 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2370
Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 23 March 2010 at 8:52am
Dear Marie,

No wonder you are confused.. what a HUGE transition..

As a revert I can say it sounds like in a way, your husband went through a "reversion" in that he was not a practicing Muslim and "became" a Muslim- through a conscious decision to practice his religion. And probably as he as aged, he may look at life differently. I can say it would be hard to be married to someone if they were not practicing and I was. If I were like your husband and did not care, it wouldn't be hard.

And you should only become a Muslim if you believe in Islam. And again he needs to define what he means by a "Muslim Household."

I would also say that he should love his son, because his comes from Allah. His son is a gift from Allah. And Allah has given your son to him to nurture and take care. And never should the son "Become Muslim" in order to be "loved" by his father.

And that you until the day someone died, the Prophet (SAWS) was always respectful and interacted with his nonMuslim relatives. He never stopped praying for them.  And that your husband, as father should be kind to his children and be an example and a role model of Islam. Smile That's what I would tell him.. Smile

what do you want?
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
IP IP Logged
marie-london
Female Christian
Newbie
Newbie


Joined: 19 March 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 17
Quote marie-london Replybullet Posted: 23 March 2010 at 9:23am
hi hayfa, i agreed my husband has found hiself and his faith again and i am very happy for him to be content with hiself, but he still wishing for myself and the children to revert to islam - which i understand is his duty and  i dont discuss agree with the main principals of islam, but i am too set in my ways and too old in the tooth i change who i am, i not wish to cover and not to have a glass of wine, my children are very western and dont wish to change things, in order for their father to be with us... i have agreed that we can teach them about islam along with my faith, i have no objectiion for them to pray and to be part of fasting and celebrations, but my husband sounds like he full wants us to convert or live in a muslim society, as he said its either living in saudi or converting to a muslim faith.  his new agreement is now i stay as i am and we move to a muslim comunity and put the chidren in muslim school.  we are going round in circles and not getting very far .... maybe we are too far apart and finally after 13 years the different in culture has beat us... what can i say when i pray to god for his help.  i enjoy your responses, and i thank you for this
IP IP Logged
Hayfa
Female  Islam
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 07 June 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2370
Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 23 March 2010 at 10:02pm
Hi Marie,

It must be very difficult for you to have all of this come your way. Some of the major trouble is what "born" Muslim expect people outside of the faith or new to the faith to do and to change.

In the early days of Islam, everyone was a revert.. so most people understood what it is like to be outside the faith and to enter it. If anyone had said to me "I need to this and this and this and that" I would have run for the hills from them. Smile Plus you add onto the nature of western society of individualism to switch that off is almost impossible after so many years.

And you add on to Saudi culture.. one of the more "different" I'd struggle with it to. I am a Muslim and would have a hard time in Saudi Arabia.

I am not sure what can be done if he is at the place he is at and you are at the place you are at. Prayers are the best.
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
IP IP Logged
Page  of 11 Next >>
Post Reply Post New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Disclaimer:
The opinions expressed herein contain positions and viewpoints that are not necessarily those of IslamiCity. This forum is offered to stimulate dialogue and discussion in our continuing mission of being an educational organization.
If there is any issue with any of the postings please email to icforum at islamicity.com or if you are a forum's member you can use the report button.

Note: The 99 names of Allah avatars are courtesy of www.arthafez.com

Advertisement:



Sponsored by:
Islamicity Membership Program:
IslamiCity Donation Program  http://www.islamicity.com/Donate
IslamiCity Arabic eLearning http://www.islamiCity.com/ArabAcademy
Complete Domain & Hosting Solutions www.icDomain.com
Home for Muslim Tunes www.icTunes.com
Islamic Video Collections www.islamiTV.com
IslamiCity Marriage Site www.icMarriage.com