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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 24 March 2010 at 1:16pm
Asalaam Alaikum Fatimah

I think people do get "tired" in life.. that is I think part of aging and wisdom, to a degree.. Life is work.


And dear sister.. I do hope you can seek and find perspective on your life. Sometimes we are SO internal and self-focused we can get caught up in it.
We think another person can make up “whole.”
If you are looking constantly at the glass as “half full” then you will notice what is lacking.  I think of this quote:
 
“If you think about shortages, you’re going to attract more shortage! If you think about what’s missing, you’re going to attract more of what’s missing in your life”.  Dr. Dyer
 
Sister, it is so important to be grateful and be even more grateful. The minute I think my life is “lacking” I reflect upon the people in Haiti, or the Congo, or Palestine, or Burma or many other places. People who are dying from diseases that are curable, being raped or molested; being killed for no reason.  I think of the people who have no place to live, no one who cares at all about them.  There are 27 million people enslaved in the world.  Think what hope they have…
 
I watch a lot of documentaries and read a lot about other peoples’ lives. It REALLY helps. In karate we have a saying “having an attitude of gratitude.” What are you grateful for?  Make a list Sister. Write a list of all that you can be thankful to Allah for.. it can be something like air, the fact you have hands (that have not been chopped off), year heart beats every moment of your life, your beautiful children. Whatever it is.. Thank Allah you are not beaten every day.
 
It can be hard to change where you are at. Its fine to have occasional sadness.. but ongoing is not good and it is changeable. You have to take mental and practical steps.
 
I do not mean to sound harsh at all.. but more passionate.. you have so much going for you.. see that.. See the beauty that Allah as given you. Allah has given you so very much.. weep with joy my dear sister..
 
Hayfa




Edited by Hayfa - 24 March 2010 at 1:19pm
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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gynks79
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Quote gynks79 Replybullet Posted: 24 March 2010 at 1:39pm

Wylekum Salaam Sister Hayfa,

You are right in all that you say, I agree with all my heart and believe it or not, each morning, each day, each night. I thank Allah even for my bed, even for the quiet of the night and the early morning, the silence, even for the crispness of the air I breath.  And yes I do think each day of the many people that I wish I can help in many countries who suffer and I wonder why there is so much unkindness in the world just to people who want to just live a simple life.  I do hurt for them I do.  I am grateful for all things I have and I have never ever ask Allah for riches or big house, or lot of anything, those things mean nothing to me, they never have, I try harder than you know sister to be a stronger person.  I feel I am the weaker one of my family yet, do you know, everyone in my family and many friends come to me with their fears, they come to me! because I have been through so so much,and they think maybe I know something to tell them to help them, and I try, but I am no good for myself, no good.  I do not look for relationships because i already know it will not be good, so what else can I do?  I volunteer to teach others english and computer software and to read stories or tell stories to children, whatever I can do, but my sister sometimes in the quiet of the evening when I sit and have my tea alone, or my dinner alone if my son is not there or I go anyplace always alone, that is when it hurts.
fatimah
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Quote martha Replybullet Posted: 24 March 2010 at 1:46pm
Asalaam Alaikum Fatimah,

I really feel for you. And I am sure Hayfa is right in saying that you are depressed. BUt that need not be a big problem, really it need not be. At our saddest times we evaluate our life..but often we are so caught up in the negative aspects that it is almost impossible to see a silver lining.
Sister, it is not likely that you will die alone. I am sure at our vulnerable and weak moments( as this is what us humans are) we all feel the same.I certainly have.I am not ashamed to say it. It doesn;t mean that Allah or His truth is not important..it just means that we all get tired in life, as Hayfa says.
The fact that you have such emotion and passion about life, love, family, childen, people..shows that you are a truly good person. You perhaps cannot see it because life has not been as kind to you as you deserve. It happens a lot to good people.
BUt I know you will come though this episode. And I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that, when you do, you will aid those that also feel low. It is what kind people do because they remember their sadness and don't like others to suffer.
THere are basically 2 kinds of people in this life..the givers and the takers. I know which one you are:)
So, be pleased Allah made you this way. You have much to give and Allah will reward you.
I went through a horrendous time..I never believed I would come through it..I had special friends to keep me going. ANd less than a year later I am the happiest I have been for a decade.
So...many of us have been right where you are now. It will come right for you Fatimah.
Take care,
Fatimah (yes, that's my name too)

some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set
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Quote gynks79 Replybullet Posted: 24 March 2010 at 1:55pm
Alhamduliallah, alhamduliallah,
Allah send me so many to hold me up, hamduliallah!!! thank you so much sister Fatimah, thanks to all of my sisters and brothers today who come to my aid and more, thank you for understanding what I am going through and my weaknesses.  I hope I make it through insha allah.  Just seems so much going on all around me, sickness, sadness, death, pain and I feel I am in the middle of a wild wind.  People hurting all over the world, it hurts me too, to hear it or see it because who am I, I can do  nothing not even for myself.  I'm glad Allah lead me to this group, thank you so much.
fatimah
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haris30432
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Quote haris30432 Replybullet Posted: 24 March 2010 at 11:40pm
Salam,
 
Why are you so doubtful today brother ! You are at the right section
 
Lol !well..i dont see any brothers here..soo...it got me doubtful ..just being cautious.. dont wish to intrude...lol :D.. but thank you for clearing it up for me.. take care
 
Peace!
ONE GOD ONE SOURCE OF LAW!
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 25 March 2010 at 7:10am
Asalaam Alaikum Sister,

I think most people go through times of "reflection" when we see things and wish for "change." But I do not think we are meant to have "everything" in this life, or we would think this is Jannah. And its not.

Plus we have good and bad, hard and soft, sleep and activity, etc.. we have both. We experience both the "highs" and "lows" of life.  There is nothing wrong with having those moments. I  think we all do.

Death: we don't know when it will be sister, or how it will be. There is no guarantees if you were married the husband would be able to be by your side. And if you are aware you are"dying" at some point you must turn inwards for no one will be making that journey with you.

 
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Quote gynks79 Replybullet Posted: 25 March 2010 at 7:14am
Salaam Hayfa,
yes sister you are correct in all that you say.  Living in this world to me is so very hard, I would never want to do it again, never.  Just it seem out of 6 children in my family, I am choosen to have the hardest life, why?  I would never wish that on anyone, even if I am so angry to them, I would never.  its just too much.
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 25 March 2010 at 6:45pm
Do we know? Of course not.. why of anything.... I think we learn answers "later."

And you know, hard as it may seem, it is a different type of blessing.  I think of how my life has been hard and yet it has made me a far, far better person.

And its REALLY important to not compare yourself to others.. and view that you are "missing" something. You know you born into Islam.. you know how many of us wish we had been born into a Muslim family? I, and probably others who don't have any Muslim family have asked "Why me." It is a very lonely road at times. We don't have family who understands us, we often have few friends.. We often belong neither in the Muslim or nonMuslim world.  I could think that you sister, has way more then I. Smile
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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