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General Islamic Matter
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bstranger
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Quote bstranger Replybullet Topic: Istikhara related
    Posted: 20 February 2010 at 12:14pm
Assalamoalikum,

Can anyone please answer these questions regarding  Istikhara.

1. Can a girl's mother do istikhara for her marriage?

2. If the girl is completely satisfied with her decision about marrying a guy who she knows for 4 years and knows everything about him, her heart it completely satisfied with this decision. The guy is religious n doing a good job. Now her mother wanted to do istikhara but the girl said I am sure n satisfied but still the mother did Istikhara n later told that girl that my istikhara came negative. Now the questions is, can mother force her istikhara decision on her?

Isn't istikhara done in a confusing state of mind, you are not sure about the person whether he is right or not or when you have more than one options ?

Istikhara means guidance from Allah n i read it at so many places that once you have done istikhara you should go ahead with the decision, if the istikhara is positive the path will be easy and if the istikhara is negative then that  thing will automatically go away from you. Is this correct ?     Because if its is correct  then nothing such happened in this case, the girl, the guy n guy's family everyone more than willing for this marriage.

Please give me authentic answers and ahadis regarding this specific case n situation.
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seekshidayath
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 21 February 2010 at 9:22am
Walaikum salaam wa rahmatullah,

May Allah swt ease the conditions of the girl. Ameen.

You do have correct understanding of Istikharah.

Now to the question if the girl's mother can do it :

Before that , we will have a look at the meaning of this dua :

O Allah! I seek goodness from Your Knowledge and with Your Power (and Might) I seek strength, and I ask from You Your Great Blessings, because You have the Power and I do not have the power. You Know everything and I do not know, and You have knowledge of the unseen. Oh Allah! If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it."

Note the words before and after that blank - If in Your Knowledge this action ------------------------------------------------ (which I intend to do) is better for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then make it destined for me and make it easy for me and then add blessings [baraka'] in it, for me. O Allah! In Your Knowledge if this action is bad for me, bad for my religion and faith, for my life and end [death], for here [in this world] and the hereafter then turn it away from me and turn me away from it and whatever is better for me, ordain [destine] that for me and then make me satisfied with it.

All we make duas in it are, if its good for 'me' -- we find the words - 'me', 'my' - So its clear that only the girl {in you case} shud do this Istikharah.



Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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bstranger
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Quote bstranger Replybullet Posted: 21 February 2010 at 10:10am
Thanks sister. Well the dua is clear enough itself but we with our limited knowledge fail to understand. The girl's mother is saying that if she goes against her (the mother's) istikhara it will be going against Allah n she want the girl to give some authentic proof.

What should be done?
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seekshidayath
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 22 February 2010 at 4:48am
Abb kya karein !! Is she expecting some angels to come down and clear her as authentic proof [IMG]smileys/smiley5.gif" align="middle" /> Sorry, but how these people make easy things go tough.

How did she do Istikharah. I mean kahin woh QTv wala istekharah tho nahi ? If she has read 2 rakah salah and this dua, ask her to give the meaning. Else, you can do one thing, take a print from any site, which teaches us the correct way of doing Istekharah and correct approach about it. See that it reaches her

Meanwhile, make duas that Allah swt blesses her with good understanding, insha Allah.


Edited by seekshidayath - 22 February 2010 at 4:53am
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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bstranger
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Quote bstranger Replybullet Posted: 22 February 2010 at 8:33am
Well, the girl is trying her best to convince her mother..... she really wants to get married to this guy.... without any doubts.... the guys has good character n religious, offer prayers n do most of the things in Islamic limits... dont know what else is required......
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 22 February 2010 at 9:08am
Originally posted by bstranger

The girl's mother is saying that if she goes against her (the mother's) istikhara it will be going against Allah n she want the girl to give some authentic proof.

What should be done?
 
Where's dad?  Mothers give advice, however legally, it is her father's consent which allows for the marriage to go forward.  I assume her mom made istikhara because she finds something troubling about you, therefore it is advisable to seek out what specifically is giving her pause, and not proceed without mom's blessings.  Hopefully with wisdom, patience and gifts you can work it out.  With respect to authentic proof it is upon mom to support her claim, and not the reverse. 
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seekshidayath
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 22 February 2010 at 5:52pm


By the way,stranger, as br.Abu Ayisha said, work with hikmah, patience, and of course GIFTS. Let him try to work out with her father and brothers [if any]

When all is well, and the best thing is that boy is religious, whatelse is she waiting for ?


Edited by seekshidayath - 22 February 2010 at 5:54pm
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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bstranger
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Quote bstranger Replybullet Posted: 23 February 2010 at 7:38am
Well,  her father has already passed away.. and brothers are younger and their opinion doesn't count.  So everything is on her mother...
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