Active TopicsActive Topics  Display List of Forum MembersMemberlist  CalendarCalendar  Search The ForumSearch  HelpHelp
  RegisterRegister  LoginLogin  Old ForumOld Forum  Twitter  Facebook
Advertisement:
         

Basics of Islam
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Religion - Islam : Basics of Islam
Message Icon Topic: Mutliple Wives Post Reply Post New Topic
<< Prev Page  of 5 Next >>
Author Message
jibreel
 
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 20 July 2005
Location: Spain
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 263
Quote jibreel Replybullet Posted: 27 July 2005 at 9:10pm
Originally posted by Jenni

I think men who need to marry more than one woman to
satisfy thier lust are really weak. And if you marry a good woman and
later marry a second to have sex with someone new you will be held
accountable for wronging your first wife.

Sisters can also refuse to Marry if they do not want to., most islamic
marriages are more protected by these fatal relationships you mentioned
then any other types around the world., would you argue with ALLAH?

Originally posted by Jenni

I know 3 brothers from Lybia who's father married a
second wife when they were teenagers because he wanted to have
another virgin and he eventually stopped coming around and left them.
Those boys now men hate thier father and want nothing to do with him.

Was it Islamically? Lebanon has many Christians too.
Islam protects Sisters from what you just posted, the couple is usually
under scrutiny for getting married for the right reasons and Islam
discourages marriages like this if they can not meet the criteria.

Originally posted by Jenni

Why are so many men so ignorant on this issue. If you
want to marry a sister just for fun, while it lasts you better tell her,
otherwise you are a Liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marriages like this are not
allowed in ISlam, its very rare and un orthodox to, this is your fear
speaking or someone attacking Islam., who ever did this is not Muslim.
If both the Brother and Sister do there duty as Muslims itis all fine Jenni.,
you marry under Islamic guides then it works.

Originally posted by Jenni

And you have stolen her chastisty for your temporary
lust. The prophet peace be upon him took care of all of his wives and did
not leave one for another.
This is why there are strict guidelines
in islamic marriages, what other marriages do you find more strict then
Islam's which protects Sisters even after devorce?
The rest that you keep mentioning is typical fears Sisters have who never
married or married a kafir.

Originally posted by Jenni

And how many of you can love and care for more than one
woman, your children, providing them seperate houses and all of thier
needs including healthcare ect. I mean come on brothers how clueless
are you.YOU WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR MISTREATING YOUR
WIVES!!!
Its been done and it works., rather then polyandry
which is impossible for the woman to carry out.

Polygamy works very well under Islamic rulings like i mentioned., that the
Sisters have been provided well, stable to keep there faith and the
grooms above other lower degrading desires.

Islam has even influenced the West with alimony or other Rights for
woman, of-course been that they are not Brothers or Sisters in the west
these rules are abused and the consequences show for them.

ALLAH knows best how to protect many single sisters and woman out
there who out number brothers, who will take care of this sisters?

So
1-You can marry up to 4 as long as your supporting and love them
equally under strict islamic rules., This superseded the 100+ wives, or
mistresses which was allowed in the bible.

The Qur'an is the only book in the world that limits wives, raises there
dignity in society and prohibits abuse of the oath to marriage., life is very
hard and everyone knows it, we all also make mistakes but the Islamic
guidelines are not responsible for the mistakes, the people are.

WHY ALL THIS? It is the point of "AVOIDING DIVORCE" ALLAH DOES NOT
like devorce.

If a brother decides to divorce a wife, he has to fallow a even more strict
path Islamically.

My only question is does a brother have to treat the prior wives equally in
in affection and love if this is the reason he marries another sister?,
relationships do fade.

So if they need to move on peacefully and marry another sister to avoid
fornication and start a new family, to support and provide for prior sisters
is not sin, its a blessing for the sisters if the relationship fails in the first
place.


Edited by jibreel
IP IP Logged
human
 
Guest Group
Guest Group
Avatar

Joined: 25 July 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 120
Quote human Replybullet Posted: 27 July 2005 at 11:53pm

In my experience even parents find it difficult to love their own children equally. So it is hard to believe that there are men who can love multiple wives equally. Also, I want at least one lady on this forum say, I wish men would ask their first wife for her consent before taking on another. And perhaps polyandry would make sense in certain cases (say the husband is sterile). So why don't muslims support it?

Be that as it may, that's why I believe that religious books should restrict themselves to a few fundamental good deeds, and leave the rest to people to decide what is best for them. Because these things change with time and locale. In practice, that's really what happens. For example, all these quotes from Koran are well and good, but many would be illegal in countries like USA.

Peace,

Human. 

IP IP Logged
Jenni
 
Senior Member
Senior  Member
Avatar

Joined: 10 June 2005
Location: United States
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 705
Quote Jenni Replybullet Posted: 28 July 2005 at 6:40am
Jibreel, I understand what you are saying but listen to this. There are most parts of the world where the proportion to men and women are equal except certian regions like Irag or Afghanistan where more men have been killed in war. In places like Saudi Arabia where some Muslims have more money and can marry more than one wife, the chance for poorer men to marry is much more diffucult. A rich guy might have 2,3 or even 4 wives and a lower class worker guy might not be able to find a wife at all, leading him to sin. I know many people who say this is common in the Gulf states and in some other parts of the world. Even here in America, brothers are having a hard time finding a wife, so good for you, if you marry more than one. What good men you are, being selfish and not leaving any companion for your brothers!!!! By the way in India and China the Population of women is Declining. Soon there will be more men than women in the world. Good luck boys, I hope your rich!!!
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
IP IP Logged
jibreel
 
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 20 July 2005
Location: Spain
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 263
Quote jibreel Replybullet Posted: 28 July 2005 at 8:45am
Peace
Originally posted by human

In my experience even parents find it difficult to love
their own children equally. So it is hard to believe that there are men who
can love multiple wives equally.



Well if your used to the U.S.A. you really have not experienced a love like
Islam or other people who are true to there faith., i understand and heard
this before. But history has proved that men abused this in western
religions by having hundreds of children like J.S. Bach or King Solomon
(PBUH) for example but this abuse calls for redemption.

Originally posted by human

Also, I want at least one lady on this forum say, I wish
men would ask
their first wife for her consent before taking on another.


The first wife should always Marry with the promise before the
witnesses that the husband always asks her permission unless they do
not love each other any more later and there is a seperation.
Its a duty to ALLAH that comes first though, and very strict for the
brothers to support the wives.

Originally posted by human

And perhaps polyandry would make sense in certain
cases (say the
husband is sterile). So why don't muslims support it?


Un fortunatly, this is impossible for any human bieng since it envolved
having marriages at the same time and supporting the men and feeding
children too.

      Polygamy is not about having several sexual partners as it the non
west miss inter-pits it, i say west since India practices polygamy
abusively, Polygamy is about been married to several wives at the same
time avoiding divorces., no woman can have several houses with several
husbands and the babies in different houses at the same time, impossible
to do for any human beings.,

      But there is a acceptation to a agreement on the wife's side if she has
lots of money and accepts to support her self in the case there is a
separation between them and he is going to leave for another woman or
she prefers her own place and a devorce.

Originally posted by human

Be that as it may, that's why I believe that religious
books should restrict themselves to a few fundamental good deeds, and
leave the rest to people to decide what is best for them. Because these
things change with time and locale. In practice, that's really what
happens. For example, all these quotes from Koran are well and good,
but many would be illegal in countries like USA.


There was never anything illegal in the Qur'an in the U.S., Islam allows
people to worship how they please and with any religion they please, but
they can not attack muslims for there faith, especially the way they did to
Jesus (PBUH) and others who spoke out against oppression by tyrrants.

Polygamy has only been called up in certian countries to be stopped in
the recent 80+ years from the fears conservative Catholics had of the
growing religion of islam., and to control the population and economy.,
for Islam means peace and ALLAH rules over life and death.

Mormons still practice polygammy in the U.S. so the so called war on
islam is and was a secret war all along.

Also, the U.S. A has adopted more Islamic laws then any other western
countries,
-Equal rights,
-Freedom of speech, where woman still can not talk to a priest today.
-Non discrimination of race or the sexes, I can go on....

Basically the U.S. adopted and exploited these beliefs by mixing them up
with a economical system which defers to secure woman's rights., to
simply put it, a capitalist society is about the money., not deeds., and
certainly not a democracy word by word a fact.

Many try to argue with this facts that Islam means peace in society, but
they have no evidence to support but that they fit into the pack of
hypocrites who fallow conjecture and take false witness, usually from a
racial point of view to reject the idea that God created arabs too., so what
God is it that created them who could not create me and you then? sound
slike Statan's tribe?

It is not in anyones right to Judge Islam, Believers (Muslims, Jews or
christians) and or even ALLAH ( God )by the mistakes people make., we
are all here to over come the tests with abstinence over lusts.

I believe Islam's guidelines also prohibit also the arab tribal or religious
sect ideas of man made laws like for example "pre marriage
arrangements" with the prides face covered

Edited by jibreel
IP IP Logged
jibreel
 
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 20 July 2005
Location: Spain
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 263
Quote jibreel Replybullet Posted: 28 July 2005 at 9:21am
Originally posted by Jenni


There are most parts of the world where the proportion to men and
women are equal
except certian regions like Irag or Afghanistan where more men have
been killed in war. In places like Saudi Arabia where some Muslims have
more money and can marry more than one wife, the chance for poorer
men
to marry is much more diffucult. A rich guy might have 2,3 or even 4
wives and a lower class worker guy might not be able to find a wife at
all, leading him to sin


This is still the woman's rights club in Islam, no matter how much there
cultures or money interfere.
The woman can decide before the Imam and witnesses and also her
Witness friend investigates to make sure her groom can provide, if she
decides to marry a poor muslim and accepts a rag as a gift, its her choice
to love him., people live in trailer homes and even on the streets in the
U.S.A., also remember that Masjids contribute to help the poor young
couples start a family if its all agreed to before witnesses, its about a
family not sexual partners, i think your mixing up non muslim men here
and bad intentions by disbelievers no?.

Originally posted by Jenni


A rich guy might have 2,3 or even 4
wives and a lower class worker guy might not be able to find a wife at
all, leading him to sin.


Well it takes 2 to do this., and fornication is a sin period.

Originally posted by Jenni

I know many people who say this is common in
the Gulf states and in some other parts of the world. Even here in
America, brothers are having a hard time finding a wife.

I agree that its hard, especially when some masjids do not allow woman
to pray together with the men., or separate rooms.
But if Islam is put to practice correctly you would not of even came
accross this problem., its a very pure way of life, pure in innocence
and higher standards of morals, its a experience if one has never
been a muslim., like a heaven on earth.


Originally posted by Jenni

so good for
you, if you marry more than one. What good men you are, being selfish
and not leaving any companion for your brothers!!!!

No sisters are ever for sale., its not America where some choose any
terribly ugly alcoholic man for financial security.
No one has the power to choose for the sister in a ISLAMIC marriage, not
even the IMAM., the whole ceromoney is based around the Sister.

Originally posted by Jenni

By the way in India
and China the Population of women is Declining. Soon there will be more
men than women in the world. Good luck boys, I hope your rich!!!

Maybe Chinese men you mean.,
But it is not necessary at all to even think like this, these countries have
laws to prohibit births of girls, ALLAH condems anyone who tries to
control life and murders there children, which existed in the Prophets
time as well (PBUH)., when baby girls where barried by proud tribal
parents who wanted boys.

I agree that SISTERS have to speak out if there is a battle of the sexes, its
a evil thing period and exists all over western societies where woman get
exploited until they are un desireables and subjected to men.
It is the right of every sister in Islam to speak out against this., but the
battle of the sexes does not exist in Islam, although there are few people
who are new to it and think so.

The rest about Arabia is culture, not all the people in Islamic countries are
muslims and or realy practice, though most do., so yes its expected to
hear men abuse this.

Edited by jibreel
IP IP Logged
ummsaleh
 
Groupie
Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 09 July 2005
Location: Bahrain
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 87
Quote ummsaleh Replybullet Posted: 30 July 2005 at 11:55am
Oh my god- A muslim womans worse nightmare. I'm married into a wealthy family in the middle east and I love islam, but i've told my husband that if even thinks to marry i'll leave, and he can have everything, who cares about money. I have so many friends that their husbands have married on them and who do they marry, dancers/ nightclub singers. Their nice American muslim wife having baby after baby covered from head to toe. How can these men use islam? That's why women get angry/ when married men take another wife it's not a widow or older woman/ women from war areas.It's usually a virgin or someone he has fallen in love with. please forgive me i've had too many friends with bad experiences.
Lost somewhere in the Middle East.
IP IP Logged
jibreel
 
Senior Member
Senior Member
Avatar

Joined: 20 July 2005
Location: Spain
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 263
Quote jibreel Replybullet Posted: 30 July 2005 at 1:52pm
Originally posted by ummsaleh


Oh my god- A muslim womans worse nightmare.
I'm married into a wealthy family in the middle east and I love islam, but
i've told my husband that if even thinks to marry i'll leave, and he can
have everything, who cares about money.

Actually Muslims do not have these types of problems, as i already
mentioned how polygamy works in Islam.
And the Husband does not get everything, she the sister does.

Originally posted by ummsaleh


I have so many friends that their husbands have married on them and
who do they marry, dancers/ nightclub singers. Their nice American
muslim wife having baby after baby covered from head to toe. How can
these men use islam?

They do not., and its there choice who they marry and how they dress., if
they do not like it they can live outside more stricter areas.

Originally posted by ummsaleh

That's why women get angry/ when married men take
another wife it's not a widow or older woman/ women from war areas. It's
usually a virgin or someone he has fallen in love with. please forgive me
i've had too many friends with bad experiences.

Muslims do not fall in Love with others the way you described it, its
not possible., infact they see love as a infactuation, true love is to marry
out of piety and make the sacrifise for another by doin Gods will for each
other.

i think you are mixing up western polygamy issues with islam and or even
India., in the west with a capitalist society woman can be oppressed to be
subjected to men, where money is everything there is shame.

To narrow it down, the crimes against woman are more in the west, here
in spain one woman dies everyday from alcoholic abusive catholic
husbands., it is a fact.

Also in brazil more domestic problems with jealous men beating and
killing there woman as well as double standards that they can see others.

But the U.S. tops it all with crimes been the highest when it comes to
domestic violence, crimes against woman, and even white collar crimes as
well.

Edited by jibreel
IP IP Logged
ummsaleh
 
Groupie
Groupie
Avatar

Joined: 09 July 2005
Location: Bahrain
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 87
Quote ummsaleh Replybullet Posted: 30 July 2005 at 10:36pm
Oh come on Jibreel I've seen it with my eyes, women left with nothing and no rights. Womens rights in Saudi, lol
Lost somewhere in the Middle East.
IP IP Logged
<< Prev Page  of 5 Next >>
Post Reply Post New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Disclaimer:
The opinions expressed herein contain positions and viewpoints that are not necessarily those of IslamiCity. This forum is offered to stimulate dialogue and discussion in our continuing mission of being an educational organization.
If there is any issue with any of the postings please email to icforum at islamicity.com or if you are a forum's member you can use the report button.

Note: The 99 names of Allah avatars are courtesy of www.arthafez.com

Advertisement:



Sponsored by:
Islamicity Membership Program:
IslamiCity Donation Program  http://www.islamicity.com/Donate
IslamiCity Arabic eLearning http://www.islamiCity.com/ArabAcademy
Complete Domain & Hosting Solutions www.icDomain.com
Home for Muslim Tunes www.icTunes.com
Islamic Video Collections www.islamiTV.com
IslamiCity Marriage Site www.icMarriage.com