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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
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dayare
 
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Quote dayare Replybullet Topic: Please Pray for me
    Posted: 02 November 2009 at 10:35am
SmileAssalaamu Alikum Sisters,
 
My parents are looking for alliance.. but still i have not got any. Hence request you all to pray for me to get a good husband ...please include me n ur duas.....
 
All are asking for more dowry and many say im not that complexion wise good. Im worried ! Even in Our muslim community people act a hindus and other caste people demanding dowries, expecting fair and beautiful girl who fits their wealthy family..
 
I dont have father and im the bread winner of my family and im 28 years now and i have to take care of my mother... My mom is saying that i have to get married as soon as possible... but i feel like if i get married, my mom will become alone.who will b with her... im sittingmy fingers crossed... hence im confused.... please advise..
 
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seekshidayath
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 17 November 2009 at 9:20am
Walaikum Salam wa Rahmatullah,

Welcome sis ! Even am from INDIA.

Yes, Indians are being influenced by hindu culture that here we are to give dowry to them. Alhamdullilah, am glad that there are many awareness programmes done in our society. Its not easy to expects results so soon. The culture rooted since years and years, don't get uprooted easily.

Most of the muslims are n't practicing muslims so their criteria is different of choosing a bride. I don't want to discuss the drawbacks of our society, as you and me know it well.

Right now, sister, i would like to boost up your confidence, which i guess, lessened in you, because of rejection from people. Do girls with dark complexion don't get married ? They do get settled. You are still the most beautiful girl in the eyes of your mother !!! Is that not great for you !! Is it not the best compliment we recieve !! Don't bother of the world. Stay strong.

And don't you notice fair, beautiful and wealthy girls from educated families, also waiting for their proposals to get settled !! I do have many examples around me.

So just shed the thought that only such girls get married. Do we have to not believe in "FATE". Its one of the essentials of Islam. JUST REMIND YOURSELVES THAT. Allah swt does love His believers. He chooses the best for His belivers. Don't you want the best from Allah swt ?

Also, sis, read this beautiful ayah - it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know"

Does this ayah not strengthen our faith !!

Marriage is sunnah.All the efforts to get married, are rewarded. Even the intentions, you hold {to follow this sunnah} is also rewarded. Also, kindly mind that this decision of yours, shall hurt your mother more. Why don't you think positively that the person in your life, shall infact be a support to your family. I understand your fears but don't we have to trust Allah swt, who is the Alimighty. Have complete trust in Him.

To get married shud not be the ultimate goal of life. It shall happen, whenever its ordained, Keep trying for it.Hold the intention, atleast that shall gain rewards.You need to stay strong esp for your mother.

Anyways, shall stop now, as am going long. If you are from Hyderabad, kindly do let me know.

Wasalaam


Edited by seekshidayath - 17 November 2009 at 9:21am
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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Quote Full of Hopes Replybullet Posted: 18 November 2009 at 6:00am

   Wa Alaikum Asslam


    I know that sister seek may Allah bless her did the job for you.. just want to add my few cents..Wink

 May Allah bless you sister,  I pray for you to have the good Muslim husband. I feel of your pain and pray that soon everything will be ok.
 As for your mother, yeh you must god married. You can not stay with your mum the whole life. She wants to see youa  happy wife. And forgive me to say she is not staying for you. You must have your own family and kids. She will love them more and be so excited to see them. It is very very good that your mum wants you to get married although she needs you.

    THink of that.. And also ask yourself: What is marriage? Why do I want to get married? These questipons help you more to understand what you are doing.
  And you can keep an eye on your mum or live near to her home. You can also take the permissinon from you hubby to visist her a lot. Allah is with you all.
  Peace..


Edited by Full of Hopes - 18 November 2009 at 6:02am
And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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wisdomseeker
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Quote wisdomseeker Replybullet Posted: 19 November 2009 at 5:23am
Assalamu alaikum sister,
I would like to say, though my two sisters have already said the same above, but still, I would say have faith in Allah,whatever He decides for us has to be good, is it not? how can our Creator, our Master decide anything that is not good for us, just think can He make a mistake? Naturally He cannot, He is flawless, so whatever He decides is the most just and the best thing that could happen to us, how much ever we dislike His decision, we must always think that if it is from Him then it is going to be RIGHT.

For sister seekshidayath, I am a sister from India, from Hyderabad.

May Allah guide us all, surely He guides those whom He wills.
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seekshidayath
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 20 November 2009 at 4:37pm
Walaikum Salam,

Glad to know you are from Hyderabad. You follow my blog, right! I was wondering ki yeh koun hai !!! Very happy to know you.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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