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Groups Women (Sisters)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups Women (Sisters)
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 24 November 2009 at 5:44am

Salam,

Martha you are correct,she should think 100 times before getting into this,because if she wants to help him she will be rewarded by allah but if in the middle of the way she changed her mind than it will destroy him more,so saima needs to ask her herself why she is doing this,and weather she is prepared and able to take this step.
 
may allah guide saima in this diffcult time.
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saima100
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Quote saima100 Replybullet Posted: 26 November 2009 at 2:53pm
   Its me again.I talked to him in detail a few days ago and i told him that his behaviour towards me was a bit strange to this he said nothing.He called me yesterday and said to me that this is v difficult for me to say but i feel we are not getting close to each other with time but are getting furthur from each other time.To this he also said that this reminded him of his eks as they too had problem like we are having.I said that i felt the same.Then we had a long discussion.To this i told him whatever i thought and then i talked to him about his saying to me that he was gay.To this he never said firmly that he was not but said that he was joking once.After that i said anyway even if that is not the reason i dont feel that we get any close and you dont anyone let get close to you.As we talked about 3 hrs.It was a long discussion.During this entire conversation he seemed v hurt.But when we were discussing being close emotionally he said again that ''im not even that close to my friend x''and it was the same friend whom he had mentioned earlier.I said to him yesterday that we should talk for a few weeks and see how the outcome will be.To this he said i dont think it will work.Anyway we talked today and this time he himself said that he did not want to continue as he did not want to live with someone whom he did not feel close to.As he had experienced this 4 years with his eks wife.And this time he as well said that ''maybe being happy is the most important thing in life and children are secondary to it''I could not disagree alot with him.All i said was that i knew he was a nice person and to this he said that he hated when someone said this.As his ekswife said exaclty the same but never loved him.We talked again for about 2 hrs today and we discussed everything and if there was a way out of this problem.To this he said that he found none.I said i was willing to ask his eks wife what the problem was and maybe we could discuss it.To this he said no way if you dont trust me then there is no need.And when our conversation ended he again brought up himself the name of his same friend and said that ''what i said about x was just a joke''
   I dont know what is right or wrong as i felt he was very upset and genuinely hurt.Maybe he is a person who is not able to get attached to others or maybe he is gay.As he himself said this.Anyway now it is over.
   And now i have to deal with a thousand qs from everyone around me that what sort of a girl cannot compromise with anyone.
But i feel i really dont care if i ever get married as if it is not meant to be then i should not fight with my destiny.I should accept it and be happy with what i have.Though i will not say no to anyone who would want to marry me.
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Pati
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Quote Pati Replybullet Posted: 28 November 2009 at 2:30pm

Dear Saima,

I am sorry for the situation you are going through, but at the same time, I think that now you will breath again.
 
Your last posts in this forum were showing so much pain and extress, that it seemed to be a crazy situation. I cannot imagine how much time did you spend thinking about a solution for your situation.
 
Regarding the others opinion about what happened, don't think about it. If someone is asking you and you want to answer, follow your feelings and aswer, but if you don't feel you want to, just avoid to give any answer saying that that's the life and you were not made to be together.
 
But the most important now, you have to take care about yourself and recover from what happened to you. You have to get stronger, and learn from this situation. Maybe you have too much selfconfidence and you must wait until knowing someone deeply for next time (that I am sure there will be a next time).
 
But don't spoil your life, don't marry the first man who may ask you to do. It's enough difficult to keep on a good relation with someone you love to, and you know... do you think that taking that risk is worthy? Do you think that the aim of every person is to get married and children? I don't think so, sorry. What I am sure is that the aim of everyone's life should be to help each other.
 
I wish you all the best. Take care
Patricia
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.
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Fariha Jannat
 
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Quote Fariha Jannat Replybullet Posted: 18 November 2013 at 2:09am
Salam Brother Faisal,
You have written the dua - Ya badi ul ajaibi. bil khairi ya badiu.But I have found in 2 books that the dua is Ya badial not Ya badiul. Can you please clarify me that is it Ya badial or Ya badiul?
And please keep me in your prayer.
Thank You
Fariha
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