IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum: what to do when husband leaves me

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fais

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Posted: 12 October 2009 at 1:01am

Salam,

well thats correct,just because someone is muslim, doesn't means that he is a saint but that does not mean the whole community is bad or the whole race is bad,yes men do marry canadian woman to get canadian citizenship and that is also not right in islam.

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martha

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Posted: 12 October 2009 at 4:59am

Originally posted by ak_m_f

Originally posted by Full of Hopes

this is not an Islamic way to discuss an issue. Men of all nations like the girls and follow them.

The traditional way to handle the problem is to brush it under the rug so that the "integrity" of brother remains intact while sister goes through hell.

Muslim men usually who are from 3rd world country( ie Arab,Pakistan,India) with no legal status here, try to marry Canadian woman here so they can get citizenship.

These men are very backward in thinking and are control freaks. They are also insecure because Canadian woman are educated, professional and know the language.

This is why they impose ridiculous restrictions on them in name of "Islam". Reverts got no one to ask for advice and are held in dark, while these so called husbands pick "virgin" brides back home for their next wedding.

Moment they get what they want, they ditch them and leave.

I am posting this so reverts, esp woman reverts would know that just because someone is muslim, doesn't means that he is a saint.

You are completely correct in what you say. You also know that I have posted much on these issues that often the revert women face. It isn't that we are st**id, just very trusting of other muslims. THe world can be a big, cruel place.

I was so pleased to be able to ditch my husband before getting his Indefinate Leave to Remain in the UK, which would undoubtedly have led to me being ditched and wife no 2 being brought over, all because of trusting a fellow muslim. It happens so much. Of course not all muslims act this way, though I was unlucky as I generally only met muslim friends of my husband.

I think if fais has the time to read my earlier posts he might perhaps appreciate the kind of abuse I put up with. And in all honesty, why would I for example want to take another husband? I am grateful though for those few Asian Muslims I worked with who were nothing like my husband or his so called friends.

I have come a long way since I first started posting. Then I was a desperate woman...these days I am content.

We should continue to warn the revert women.

Edited by martha - 12 October 2009 at 5:05am

some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set

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Hayfa
Female Islam
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Posted: 12 October 2009 at 8:03am

Then there are plenty of women who marry fine Muslim men. And there are Muslim women who marry Muslim men her for the 'green card.'

There are good and bad people. The main thing is to do the best you can to protect yourself. And sometimes bad things happen. Its life

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

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fais

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Joined: 24 August 2009
Location: Oman
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Posts: 281

Posted: 12 October 2009 at 8:53am

Salam sister hayfa,

i completly agree with you,women who marry such men also need some kind of security and most of the woman do well after marrying an expat.so considering few cases we cannot generalise and blame the whole race,

regards

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martha

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Posted: 12 October 2009 at 10:13am

Originally posted by fais

Salam sister hayfa,

regards

Can you explain more about this comment please. I do not understand what you mean

some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set

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martha

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Posted: 12 October 2009 at 10:16am

Originally posted by Hayfa

Then there are plenty of women who marry fine Muslim men. And there are Muslim women who marry Muslim men her for the 'green card.'

There are good and bad people. The main thing is to do the best you can to protect yourself. And sometimes bad things happen. Its life

We should warn all revert men and women.

some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set

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Full of Hopes
Female Islam
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Joined: 06 August 2009
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Posted: 12 October 2009 at 12:44pm

never accept a man without doing istikahar before, even if you are so sure of him. Allah knows the best.

May Allah save us.
peace.

Edited by Full of Hopes - 13 October 2009 at 3:43am

And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)

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Hayfa
Female Islam
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Posted: 12 October 2009 at 8:45pm

Asaalam ALaikum,

It is not about someone being a revert or not. This has happened to people who are not reverts.. There are bad eggs all over..

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

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Family Matter
IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter

Topic: what to do when husband leaves me
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Author	Message
fais Senior Member Joined: 24 August 2009 Location: Oman Online Status: Offline Posts: 281	Posted: 12 October 2009 at 1:01am
	Salam, well thats correct,just because someone is muslim, doesn't means that he is a saint but that does not mean the whole community is bad or the whole race is bad,yes men do marry canadian woman to get canadian citizenship and that is also not right in islam.
	IP Logged

martha Senior Member Joined: 30 October 2007 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1141	Posted: 12 October 2009 at 4:59am
	*Originally posted by ak_m_f* *Originally posted by Full of Hopes* this is not an Islamic way to discuss an issue. Men of all nations like the girls and follow them. The traditional way to handle the problem is to brush it under the rug so that the "integrity" of brother remains intact while sister goes through hell. Muslim men usually who are from 3rd world country( ie Arab,Pakistan,India) with no legal status here, try to marry Canadian woman here so they can get citizenship. These men are very backward in thinking and are control freaks. They are also insecure because Canadian woman are educated, professional and know the language. This is why they impose ridiculous restrictions on them in name of "Islam". Reverts got no one to ask for advice and are held in dark, while these so called husbands pick "virgin" brides back home for their next wedding. Moment they get what they want, they ditch them and leave. I am posting this so reverts, esp woman reverts would know that just because someone is muslim, doesn't means that he is a saint. You are completely correct in what you say. You also know that I have posted much on these issues that often the revert women face. It isn't that we are st**id, just very trusting of other muslims. THe world can be a big, cruel place. I was so pleased to be able to ditch my husband before getting his Indefinate Leave to Remain in the UK, which would undoubtedly have led to me being ditched and wife no 2 being brought over, all because of trusting a fellow muslim. It happens so much. Of course not all muslims act this way, though I was unlucky as I generally only met muslim friends of my husband. I think if fais has the time to read my earlier posts he might perhaps appreciate the kind of abuse I put up with. And in all honesty, why would I for example want to take another husband? I am grateful though for those few Asian Muslims I worked with who were nothing like my husband or his so called friends. I have come a long way since I first started posting. Then I was a desperate woman...these days I am content. We should continue to warn the revert women. Edited by martha - 12 October 2009 at 5:05am
	some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set
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Hayfa Female Islam Senior Member Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 2370	Posted: 12 October 2009 at 8:03am
	Then there are plenty of women who marry fine Muslim men. And there are Muslim women who marry Muslim men her for the 'green card.' There are good and bad people. The main thing is to do the best you can to protect yourself. And sometimes bad things happen. Its life
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
	IP Logged

fais Senior Member Joined: 24 August 2009 Location: Oman Online Status: Offline Posts: 281	Posted: 12 October 2009 at 8:53am
	Salam sister hayfa, i completly agree with you,women who marry such men also need some kind of security and most of the woman do well after marrying an expat.so considering few cases we cannot generalise and blame the whole race, regards
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martha Senior Member Joined: 30 October 2007 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1141	Posted: 12 October 2009 at 10:13am
	*Originally posted by fais* Salam sister hayfa, i completly agree with you,women who marry such men also need some kind of security and most of the woman do well after marrying an expat.so considering few cases we cannot generalise and blame the whole race, regards Can you explain more about this comment please. I do not understand what you mean
	some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set
	IP Logged

martha Senior Member Joined: 30 October 2007 Online Status: Offline Posts: 1141	Posted: 12 October 2009 at 10:16am
	*Originally posted by Hayfa* Then there are plenty of women who marry fine Muslim men. And there are Muslim women who marry Muslim men her for the 'green card.' There are good and bad people. The main thing is to do the best you can to protect yourself. And sometimes bad things happen. Its life Ok We should warn all revert men and women.
	some of us are a lot like cement:- all mixed up and permanently set
	IP Logged

Full of Hopes Female Islam Senior Member Joined: 06 August 2009 Online Status: Offline Posts: 860	Posted: 12 October 2009 at 12:44pm
	never accept a man without doing istikahar before, even if you are so sure of him. Allah knows the best. May Allah save us. peace. Edited by Full of Hopes - 13 October 2009 at 3:43am
	And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
	IP Logged

Hayfa Female Islam Senior Member Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 2370	Posted: 12 October 2009 at 8:45pm
	Asaalam ALaikum, It is not about someone being a revert or not. This has happened to people who are not reverts.. There are bad eggs all over..
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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