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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: I wanna save my marraige Post Reply Post New Topic
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 26 September 2009 at 12:23am
dear all,
thnx for all your comments,and really the point 'In love with the idea of love ' is very informative,this cud be true in my wife's case.
 
on my last call i clarified that i never meant or said any thing that means i will rape her or something like this.
 
i called to leave with a good note as i wanted to make her realise that she left a gentleman,sorry to boast about myself.
 
i requested her to say that she love me and she did saying its not the truth anyways,i agreed and she said i love you for the last time.
 
she said she forgave me on this i also said i forgive her but friends when eid day came and all those dreams which i saw came in front of my eyes and i cud not forgive her,i can never forgive her hope allah forgive me for this.
 
my father told my aunt to get a good girl immdiately after the divorce for me,but only my heart and allah knows how i will utter those 3 words which is the most hatefull to allah "Talaq"
 
i cud have used these words 'Talaq'to insult her and her family when they insulted me,but alhumdulillah my fear of allah and love for this girl prevented me from saying this even in utmosta anger and insanity.
 
just pray for me and my peace of mind,i have no relative in riyadh i am alone this is even bothering me more,for eid i was at uncle's place and they were talking to me so felt relief but now i am all by myself.
 
i was living so temporarily in the bacelors apartment now just imagine i have to make my mind that i have to live there permanantly.my aunt says i shud not say anything to my boss as it will take away my family status so keep quite and marry some one here in saudi and this way i will be saved from the insult and pity of the peole in my office.dont know weather i shud stay in this country or go back to india as i have lost the motive now,she was the centre of life.i still love her and i know i am a fool but this is not in my hands.thanks a million friends for all your comments and dua.
 
Broken%20Heart a broken heart is much closer to Allah.


Edited by fais - 26 September 2009 at 1:28am
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Pati
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Quote Pati Replybullet Posted: 26 September 2009 at 3:38am
Dear fais,

I am sorry for you and for what happened.  I understand you perfectly, more than what you can imagine.

I will tell you what I feel, and I hope you will understand me: if God's is changing our life road, it's because He needs us in other place or for different things. He knows the best, as you said, and maybe that girl was not able to give you whatever you need, or to make you happy. Maybe your real wife is waiting for you in somewhere, waiting to make you happy.

But my suggestion is to take your time. Everytime that a relation finish, it's necessary what they call "mourning" time, without thinking of anything but yourself and your future. Really, better not to start another relation by the moment and to rebuild your feelings and thoughts. You are hurt and you have to sane your heart, but it will go.

Think that the love is something pure, and peaceful, and the feelings that your wife was giving you were not love, if you were getting mad everytime. Now, you have to take your time and to take breath deeply. You are a strong man and good person, so find your place back and restart your life, learning from the bad lessons.

Everything is going to be Ok sooner or later. Maybe it will take few months, maybe one year, but you will be Ok. Just think about her in nice and friendly way, and forget the good moments, just remember that everything is finished and you have to go on (and she has to do too).

Good luck and all the best from my heart. I will pray for you and for her too.

Patricia
No God wants the killing, but the peace.
The weapons are carried by people, not by religions.
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 26 September 2009 at 6:09am

salam brother saladin,

thnx for the advice,i know that it might not be al ain or blackmagic,she never gave a try to solve this problem so she wanted to end this anyways,

Insha allah i will not be a devdas as she cud never become the the girl devdas died for,i will take some time but will get up soon insha allah i just need  another motive to live then all will be fine.do remember me in your prayers.

 
regards
 
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 26 September 2009 at 6:27am
Hi Patti,
 
thnx for the beautiful reply,i want nothing now but just onething that in her life oneday she shud feel that yes she did a mistake by leaving such a loving husband,she feels this is an indication from allah to her to leave me,my heart really curses her but i have left this to allah to decide.
 
u know the feeling of being left by someone is very hard to accept,just pray that i get the stregnth to face the day on which my marraige will be terminated.
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Full of Hopes
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Quote Full of Hopes Replybullet Posted: 26 September 2009 at 9:34am

  Asslamu Alaikum
 I understand how you feel brother, and if you want my advice you should go back to India or any other country just to be far form her and to stop thinking about her. Now she must be the past that you learned form it and be improved. It is hard I know but you have been tested by Allah to be stronger, I believe.
 And do not think about marriage now because that girl is still in your heart and it will not be fair to marry a woman you do not love and be not fair with her.

 I see you should fill your life and mind with everything good and useful. Never have time to think of your past or problems. Avoid being free, doing nothing.  Do anything, play sport, go the gym, go out with your friends. Or even at work think of new plans for the company. Try  to improve yourself, and I am sure soon you will feel better and meet the woman whom  you love and who loves you.
 We human beings Allah has blessed us with forgetting things, after some time of being busy in this life, you will forget that girl and stop even thinking of her.

  May Allah help you.. we pray for you..



Edited by Full of Hopes - 26 September 2009 at 9:42am
And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 26 September 2009 at 9:40pm

Salam,

Full of hopes,

thnx sister for the dua and advises,i wanted send u a private message but dont know how to send,its some thing about the culture here which i dont want anybody to misunderstand.

anyways i see your comments everywhere in this forum may allah reward u for this.my email is faisal_bat@yahoo.co.uk

Regards

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Quote Full of Hopes Replybullet Posted: 26 September 2009 at 9:57pm

  Wa Alaikum Asslam
 I hope I can help. You click on my name any place on the forum then you see my member page, press on send a PM and then you will write me a PM (private message)
 But I am not sure if I can help, just I hope I can.
 May Allah be pleased.
And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 26 September 2009 at 10:21pm

salam,

well i think u have blocked all for private message,so send a hi then i will reply.its not something important but just something in my mind i wanna disscuss.

regards



Edited by fais - 26 September 2009 at 10:23pm
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