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Family Matter
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Message Icon Topic: I wanna save my marraige Post Reply Post New Topic
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 30 August 2009 at 3:26am

Salam.

thanx sister for reminding me about my good qualities she selected me,thnx for boosting my morale,

i agree with you that it might not be a problem of al ain but i have no other option then this as she is not at all open to solve this issue,last night i called her after and cried like like mad on the fone but her heart dint melt,some saudi women has advised her that she has time now to save her from this marraige as our dukhla is not done,but sister how can a girl do this,she was mad for me,she made me leave the whole world in india and on her promises i left evrything and now she just wanna walk away.i wish you could talk to her as we all are in saudi but i know its not possible,

when you pray tahajjud plz plz plz pray for me sister,i dont wanna let her go,also if some has gone through same case so let me know what they did for the cure.

i can just pray and nothing,i will meet her in ramadan eid so lets see she changes her mind whe we meet.

regards

Faisal

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Full of Hopes
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Quote Full of Hopes Replybullet Posted: 01 September 2009 at 9:54pm

  Then,  in this case brother, you should pray a lot to Allah to help you two and save your marriage.

  Besides, you'd better read the verses for   ain cure from Qura'an every morning and evening and persuade her to do so.

  May Allah help you and save your marriage.

And whoever seeks a religion other than Islâm, it will never be accepted of him, and in the Hereafter he will be one of the losers(3:85)
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 02 September 2009 at 12:32pm
salam,
to,
full of hopes
 
Sister i have very little hope for this,but its ramadan and may allah accept my prayers,she dont say anything to me she just says i am not comfortable with you so her elder friends has advised her to leave me,i explained her that the adivises of anyone is always biased as you tend to ask the the question in such a manner that you get the answer of your choice but she is not ready to understand,i tell you sister its not a serious matter no big fight but she just dont feel she love me,i went back to india after the court marraige as i was not getting good benefits for my wife,in this one year she says she developed this feeling,she still talks to me nicely but the way she was mad for me just six month back now she cant even say that she love me,i feel like committing suicide sometimes but its haram,I am 31 the age in which people think of comfortable jobs and better postion i used that time to get this girl in my life,restarted my carreer for her.accepted the meher of saudi standard which was not my budget but i still arranged everything for her.
 
somehow i convinced her to come with me to umrah may allah put love in her heart this time.sister i swear she will never get a loving husband like meCry.i am so helpless i wish you could talk to her.i will give her number if you mail me at faisal_bat@yahoo.co.uk
 
pray for me sister.
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Aimaan
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Quote Aimaan Replybullet Posted: 05 September 2009 at 5:16pm
ASA, faisal
 
Has she done a pregnancy test?Most women change when they are pregnant.Please,seriousy consider this before doing anything else.
 
Insha'Allah all will be well.
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 07 September 2009 at 1:26am
salam,
well i was away from her for one year so its not possible,you know she still not staying with me as our valima party is left.
 
sister she says she is not comfortable with me and this she is feeling since 6 months when i was india,she has no love for me and she says she  hates me, may be because i had a fight with her last time,but this is not a good reason to apart,anyways i still have no idea whats the true reason,she is confident to leave me in this eid holiday.i am going to madina to pray to stop her from asking Talaq.but i have very little hope.
 
just pray for me,for the girl i left the whole world behind she is now just walking away from my life by saying just sorry.how painfull it is for me no one can imagine.i really love her plz pray for me.Cry
 
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Faisal
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RASHROUSH2222
 
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Quote RASHROUSH2222 Replybullet Posted: 07 September 2009 at 12:21pm
salamo alaykpm to all
soster aimaan fais said dukhla is not done yet...so she is not pregnant.
 
brother first of all i think i know wat u r goin through...i was engaged b4 and i used to think i love him but after 10 months of spendin every day with him for hours and after livin some troubles...i figured out that am tellin myself most of the time thats not the man of my dream thats not wat i need or love...and it ended upon my determinantion of havin divorce...
i agree with full of hope regardless if its ain or not as a muslim guy u r supposed to do ur role and leave it to allah...
so my points are:
1.inshallah she wont feel for u wat i felt for my Ex.
2.go back to the old fais she filled in love with...
3.dont be tooo weak when u r we can use that against u...
4.keep ur kindness and all good stuff u have but dont show that u r dyin for her.
coz if allah wanted u to be hers noone and nothin in the world can prevent that,but if allah dont want u to be together then nothin in the world can gather u...
it hurts i know i have been through this b4 wallah i felt its the end of the world for me and i was in a huge pain that i couldnt live with although i was the one who ended it,but subhan allah with time i started to feel my brain is wakin up and my heart is relaxin,after few days i realised how st**id i was to accept him and at that moment till this moment i never stopped thankin allah that i ended it b4 dukhla..
she should be mature enough and not lsn to girls around coz that may destroy her future.
at the same time u should start thinkin that allah will choose the best for both of u.if u continued tog be grateful to allah and make sure that ur both one in mind and soul but in 2 bodies.if it didnt work its ok say alhamdulillah and be sure that allah will reward u with a better girl..
wallah wallah after i left my Ex (i left him for alot of reasons and ppl support me in that after they knew) i felt much better and now am more grateful and appreciate things in my life more...and now am gettin ready inshallah to marry my australian guy who is a great great muslim guy elhamdulillah and now i know why allah subhanahu wtaala helped me to end with my Ex...
this guy means the world to me i would never ever leave him for the world.
i know thats wat u feel to her but ur heart might turn off ur mind...relax
trust allah and pray for the best dont pray to get back to her as this might not be the best for u my brother wallah,u might pray to get her back and allah lsns to ur prayers and after marriage u start to wake up sayin this is the worst mistake i have ever done...so relax take ur time and trust allah more than anythin else....
i have lived the pain i dont want ppl to live it but after that pain am the happiest now to meet my australian man...
i have learned that no matter wat,wat is meant to be will happen tears pain sadness lonliness will get u nothin but hurt,instead get closer to allah and be certain more than certain that allah will solve it.
solve doesnt mean to save ur marriage coz this marriage may not be successful,only he knows.
solve mean the best will happen for both of u...and rememebr she lost u by lsnin to girls u wont loose her brother maybe she doesnt deserve u..
u might think am cold and not aware of ur feelings but wallah am aware more than anyone else coz i lived it b4...
inshallah allah will choose the best trust him..if u had any doubts in allah then the best wont happen...
may allah grant u peace and strength in ur heart and mind...umra is a gr8 thing to do its the best moments i ever had in my entire life....thats exactly wat u need.
forgive me if my words showed any coldness or careless allah knows that i have wrote this long reply to help u feel better and stop feelin the burden on ur shoulder...i dont think the smell is wat is it about coz she smelled it b4 she is just makin up excuses and she is copyin wat the girls told her...
and sex is not the right topic to talk about or worry about...sex is done after dukhla so dont worry now about it...worry about ur current situation..
hoping that at least one line in my reply will help
allah knows my intentions in helpin.
salam
ALLAH is too generous to let ur prayer down..if ALLAH take somethin away from u he gives u wat is much better.ELHAMDULILLAH for islam
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fais
 
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Quote fais Replybullet Posted: 08 September 2009 at 1:44am

Dear sister,

I am really glad that finally there is someone who know my pain.

let me explain in detail my story.

I am from india and my wife is my second cousin but she is born and brought up in saudi as we have big kabila who has migrated to saudi.she is not saudi but brought like a saudi girl,however she speaks fluent hindi too.

I am simple man from india who never dreamt of marrying a girl of arab culture as the standard of living is quite different and high from us,this girl came to india 4 yrs back for the first time,we were talking like normal cousins and she use to call me brother at that time,then 2 months later she left to saudi,she gave me her email but never replied to any for a long time but one day she called me and said her computer was under repair.then she started talking to me and then on 14th feb she said to me plz give me the happiness which girl always desire for,i knew she is asking me to propose her,but it was my decency that i held my self as she was my cousin and my best friends sister,her brother is my very good friend,and i thought it will be  not ethical to do this,but when she said common say that you love than i could not stop and we were in a realtion.

she was so mad about me that i left my job and the entire carreer and restarted my self in a totally new country with totally new language,you how difficult it is in saudi if you dont know arabi.anyways i came to saudi sent proposal for the third time to her father and finally her father had to accept as she was very much adamant to marry me,we got married finally on 30th shaban in sharah court alhumdulillah,
she lives in jeddah and i got a job in dammam so i use  to once in a month to meet her and she was so mad about me that to accomodate me she gave me all the permission which normally is not given to any boy before dukhla,anways my salary was less and when i saw the saudi culture full of parties and expensive dresses i thought of getting all those for her and fought with my employer and went back to india for migrating to australia,i took tempevary job there,i had a house on loan but it was my dream house,as it could effect my married life i sold it with her permission the money i had thought i will use to migrate to australia but i could not do so as after 3 months NIA informed me that i have less marks in accounting,so i planned for higher education in austrlia but her parents refused as the money which i had was the only saving i had so they asked me to comback to saudi.
 
i did everthing her parents said, pay 15000riyal meher which is much more for an indian but i agreed as it was the standard of saudi,they said keep our daughter in saudi i said ok,she said i dont want to keep deep relations with your family as it is a burden i agreed,she loved me on her conditions and i accepted everthing for her as she made me belive that she is mad for me.
 
when i was in dammam she use to complain that i dont love her the way she does and i use to work hard to get that feelings which she likes,i was never aware of the love which happens only in novels but she forced me to love like heroes of novel and i really developed those feelings.when we use to meet she use to like each and every physical move of mine.we were so happy and after our nikah we went for hajj and sister that was the best time for me,u know there are restrictions when you are in ehram but she was so crazy for me that even in the state of ehram somtimes she use to hug me and i use to get angry that this is not right.
 
when i left saudi she was very upset but i left for her better life,after six months she complaint that she dont fee like talking anything romantic on the fone so i thought when i meet her it will be alright,i came to riyadh this time after exactly 14 months,i found that she dont have time for me,i complaint this many times but she said she has college,work,and house work so she is too busy to give me her true feelings,somehow i calmed my heart that i know she is doing a lot of hardwork,her collge closed no feelings her wotk over no feelings,she use to be so rude sometimes that i use to cry in the night that allah why my wife is so rude to me,before ramadan she was in a party and i called her to see her on the fone and she disconnected as she was busy and then she called and shouted me  that why i called so i also gave her a good shouting and made her cry,
 
after this incident she was asked me not call her for few days and she swtiched off her fone,the she called me and said that she is considering to take a divorce,i litrally begged in front of her,just imagine sister i left parents my whole life there for her and now she is walking just cause she has no love for me in her and this she is feeling since six moths when i was india.i told her she can love me for the sake of allah as it great reward and insha allah love will come one day.she said when she comes close to me she gets a very dirty smell and when she talk to me she feel suffocated,she addmitted that she has al ain problem but she never took the trouble to solve this,i told her that will go till the last corner of the world to solve your problem but she said all her friends who are older ladies not girls and also very good alimas has advised her to leave me.when she wanted me she convince me any how i told her i am very poor i cant meet your needs she said i am different girl i dint selected you for money i like but now she suddenly she says she hate me,
 
she has one big reason which she says because of which she is taking divorce but she will tell me after the talaq,sister i swear i dont remember any situation when i was very unhuman to her,i have 100 reasons to give her talaq but i love her and i know that i promissed her father when i decided to marry her so even if she is not obeying me i will love her and keep the marraige as it is my promise.
 
she still says i am a good man but because of this smell and suffocation problem she thinks allah has decided for us to apart.where are those promises those novel like feelings.i will not curse her but pray to allah that allah one day make her realise what she left behind and repent and she should cry to get me back in her life.
 
you know the hieght is she dont want to discuss these problem when she opens the matter of talaq,she requested me to keep my mouth shut and say that its between two of us.she dont  even want take the responsibilty of what she is doing.what ever she does she thinks she is right as allah has naturally blessed with very high confidence.pray for me i still love her.
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Quote UmmAmara Replybullet Posted: 08 September 2009 at 6:17am
A.A. Fais
 
This is Aimaan...i had to sign in another name to reclaim my old one.So you are still talking to Aimaan.
 
I have been divorced for some half a year now.I have been with a man and stayed away from him for sometime.So i have some little experience from this kind of situation.Il will send you my email address on your Private messenger so we can talk about this more.Please be patient.Maybe you can alittle from my experince.
 
Allah will help you Insha'Allah...Pray in this holy month,your prayers will be answered.
Acquisition of knowledge requires a great deal of patience and hardwork.
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