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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
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rsuchwani
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Quote rsuchwani Replybullet Topic: Need an Advice
    Posted: 26 May 2009 at 12:01am
As'Salamu Alykum

I live in Pakistan and was born to the family who follows Ismaili path (sub-sect of Shia).I followed the Ismaili path till the age of 20, now I follow the Sunni path.

I need an advice about my situation.

I want to marry a girl who's also Sunni, we were in relation.
I want to know that what will be my plus point as to convince her parents about me as my family still hold the Ismaili path??

AlHamdullilah, I can afford to live separate and can afford marriage.

I'll be greatly thankful of anyone who answers me and give advice with reference of Quran and Sunnah.

May Allah be merciful with all of us.
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 27 May 2009 at 5:59am
Asalam Alaikum,

I have been to Pakistan 3 times.. and well I have no answer.. sorry to say.. Its hard as we don't know what your parents think..

Do they know about your 'change?'  To me their reaction to that would be important.

Family and cultural traditions are huge in Pakistan, often overriding Islam itself.

Have you talked to the woman's family?

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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rsuchwani
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Quote rsuchwani Replybullet Posted: 27 May 2009 at 9:21am
Walaikum Salam..

My family consists of two more members, My father and my younger brother.My mom's no more.
Yes, they know it all along that I've stopped following Ismaili path and now I'm practicing and following Sunni path.They have accepted it, whatsoever.
Else, they have no issue regarding whom I marry and live separate.

I haven't talk to her parents yet, because before I go ask her hand in marriage from her parents, I want to clear my confusion.
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 30 May 2009 at 10:34am
I think that you need to be honest and truthful. You were path A. you changed as you learned you were not in the best of directions. You want to continue to strive towards self-improvement. You want to have a wife who is of the same path so you may have a harmonious home.

Also you plant to live separate. That is a big deal.  See if you can spend time with them. Getting to know them is critical as you will marry into their family.
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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Chrysalis
 
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 31 May 2009 at 11:50am
Originally posted by rsuchwani

As'Salamu Alykum


I want to marry a girl who's also Sunni, we were in relation.
I want to know that what will be my plus point as to convince her parents about me as my family still hold the Ismaili path??

AlHamdullilah, I can afford to live separate and can afford marriage.

I'll be greatly thankful of anyone who answers me and give advice with reference of Quran and Sunnah.

 
Well brother, just be honest with the parents and express your sincere intentions. Thats what matters. You mentioned some plus points in your own post - mention those.
 
Tell them that you have sincere intentions towards thier daughter, and can afford to live seperately. Let them know that you follow orthodox islam, and obviousley care about bieng a good muslim. The daughter is not marrying the family, shes marrying you - so the family's religous associations should not be a problem, especially since you plan on living seperately anyway.
 
Hadith tells us that one should choose a mate based on piety and strength of character - alhamdulilah you seem to care about what Islam has to say, so one can assume you have those. I dont see why the parents would disagree with you.
 
It would be good if you can get a relative or elder to accompany you - or make your intentions/proposal known - since parents would be less wary of your background etc. If your family doesnt want to get involved - find anyother older acquaintance. Makes you seem more secure.
 
Other than that, I dont know what you specifically meant by advice from Quran and Sunnah. Islamically speaking, if you now follow Prophet's Islam i.e through Hadith and Sunnah - it shouldnt matter to anyone what you previously believed in, or what your parents believe in.
 
Goodluck.
 
 
 
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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rsuchwani
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Quote rsuchwani Replybullet Posted: 31 May 2009 at 10:20pm
As'Salamu Alykum

Thanks all of you.

I have now more clear idea as to what to do.
I'll definitely send my proposal through my family as to secure my position.

Once again thank you for your support and advice.

May Allah be merciful with all of us.
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MOTHER
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Quote MOTHER Replybullet Posted: 03 July 2009 at 3:38am
As salam alai kum
i am from india and living in this situatation for the past 20 yrs i will be able to help you out of it,but before that i have to discuss some things with you,tell you when you are online
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rsuchwani
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Quote rsuchwani Replybullet Posted: 05 July 2009 at 8:15pm
Walaikum As Salam

Mother, I am really glad that you are intend to help me out with your experience and knowledge in this situation.
I'll be online between 6 pm to 8 pm (IST).

Jazak ALLAH.
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