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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: Belief in god is enough? Post Reply Post New Topic
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SeMsEm
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Quote SeMsEm Replybullet Topic: Belief in god is enough?
    Posted: 03 April 2009 at 5:35am

Assalamu Alaikom

first I want to say this forum seem to be a very good one, barak Allah fekom.
I have some questions please, I love a girl, who I thought that she was Christian...she said she thought she was, but then she found that she wasnít given a religion when she was born coz her parents are from different religions but non of them is Muslim, when I knew she had no religion I was shocked because then we canít marry, I know a Muslim can marry from ahl al ketab, but cant marry who has no religion, she said she believe in god, and she believe Jesus Christ died on the cross, what does that make of her? And is it enough to believe in god? or she has to have a religion, itís not good now coz now she "HAS" to have a religion so we can marry, and she is angry with me, and of course having a religion just coz u have to doesnít count

I wanted to teach her about Islam but actually I would have preferred it to come from her heart and her wish, but at this pointÖits she get a religion or we canít marry.. so she has to get one, she doesnít want to be Muslim coz Islam forbids a lot of things, things she think that are not so wrong, like eating pork, she says some pigs are not dirty and donít live in dirt nor eat it, so itís not dirty flesh and not poisonous..Why is it forbidden to eat it then? Is there such kind of pigs? And is there another reason that itís forbidden?
About Alcohol, some drinks donít get u drunk, have very low percentage of alcohol...so why is having only one glass of such drinks forbidden if it wonít get u drunk?

another question, what to start with through the process of teaching her Islam, so that it wonít be a tough begin, and what should I teach her that would attract her if she is a person who doesnít like restrictions, and she didnít want to have a religion coz she didnít want to be chained with rules about everything, what to dress, what to eat, what to drink, what to say and what not.

This relationship is important for me, but Allah is above all of course, so I really hope I would find help here on how to remain in this relationship without disobeying or upsetting Allah



Edited by SeMsEm - 06 April 2009 at 4:29pm
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Saladin
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Quote Saladin Replybullet Posted: 06 April 2009 at 5:17am
This relationship is important for me, but Allah is above all of course, so I really hope I would find help her on how to remain in this relationship without disobeying or upsetting Allah

Walaikum salam,

Chose any one. I dont think you can have both.

Just my opinion. Perhaps someone can give wiser advise.

'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'
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SeMsEm
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Quote SeMsEm Replybullet Posted: 06 April 2009 at 4:37pm
i think if she believes in god and jesus christ then she is christian not "moshrekah" which means she is from the people of the book and i can marry her np, right?
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 07 April 2009 at 11:11am
Well you have to really check is this what you want.. part of the whole issue also comes down to inter-faith isuses..
 
like you  brought up does not see giving up pork etc.. willshe raise your children with Islamic values or 'open values.' I have met good Christians who hold the same social values.., and that may work. But for most people its not only Beleif in One God, Step 1, but also are you really compatable 10 years down the line.
 
Anyone who values their religion would be hesisitant to marry someone not of similiar values.. i feel this even amongst Muslims... If your values are different, and you really care about religion, what is going to happen when the kids arrive, you have family obligations etc.
 
I have seen this with a friend whose partner does not want their daughter to wear modest clothing, go to masjid, learn Quran, etc. That causes problems.. if you want to raise kids with solid core Muslim values (of course assuming you want kids) what will happen if she is going against your wishes.. or in subtle ways undermining you?
 
There are Christians who don't eat pork, don't drink etc. etc.. that would be one thing.. but a house divided is really risky.
 
 
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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SeMsEm
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Quote SeMsEm Replybullet Posted: 11 April 2009 at 4:15am
thank you hayfa for your reply
actually we both have discussed the kids issue and she said she doesnt mind if they be raised as muslims, she doesnt mind what religion they will have as long as they will be raised on good manners, and when i asked if believe in god is enough, i wanted to know if that makes her a believe and we can marry, i dont think quran said about her not having a religion, just said about not believing or believing, so is it halal to marry her if she believes in god?
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 11 April 2009 at 6:45am
"I have some questions please, I love a girl..."  How often on these boards have I heard this expression from Muslims, who are likely dating and having improper contact with the opposite sex, so naturally their hearts are affected.  Affected to the point that all intellectual reason goes out the window.  Now, it is bitter pill time.  Follow your heart and your moral compass suffers; follow your religion and good sense, you suffer her anger and displeasure with you.  Tell her your religion does not allow you to touch her or be alone with her until marriage.  Stop calling her and meeting with her.  Better to suffer now while the matter isn't complicated with children and your honor.  Who knows, if you do what is correct according to your faith, maybe you will get something better in return.
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SeMsEm
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Quote SeMsEm Replybullet Posted: 13 April 2009 at 4:45am
^.^ do u know us, or know the relationship to guess that we are already dating and meeting? .. all i said that i love someone...are u sure u read my post?, i only asked a question and needed a clear answer for it, or at least related to the question, coz ur post is not related to this topic
thanks
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 14 April 2009 at 10:11am
Salaams SeMsEm,
 
As far as her 'beliefs' you may have to ask a scholar...
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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