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chastebeauty

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Topic: I need a Quran or hadith proove on......
Posted: 15 March 2005 at 3:45am

Salam!

Firstly i need to know if it is haram talking on the phone and chatting with a male, cos i am aware dating is but what if you are far away from eachother and never met but only share Islamic and general views by chatting ?

Secondly, we were taking about shaking hands and i said it was haram in islam to have any physical contact with a female be it a handshake or worse, he said to me on what verse or hadith did i see that.

Pls i remember but not clearly may be in a hadith, that a man would rather face a certain pain or torture than touch a woman's hand his right hand does not posses. Can someone help me with the verse or hadith or something more scary or better.

He thinks i am an extremist but if i proove it in writen(hadith or quran) he promise to believe me and i pray would work on it inshaAllah.

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abuayisha

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Posted: 15 March 2005 at 6:40am

It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.”

Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh.

Edited by abuayisha

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Nausheen
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Posted: 17 March 2005 at 10:09pm

Originally posted by chastebeauty

Salam!

Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah.

Idle chat per se may not be harmful. However, it may on occasions lead to somethings that turn out to be objectionable or haram in the religion. Anything that lead to haram, should be avoided, if not, a great deal of caution should be observed. That is for better piety.

The ummulmo'mineen were reminded in the Quran, to be stren in their voices, when they are speaking to men. This should be taken as a general advice for all women.

If the person is not your mahram, and there is no specific need for the discussion, it is better to avoid it. Unless ur sure, it will not lead somewhere else and you will not be misunderstood in any way. If there is a genuine need, at least try not to be alone with this person - or at least not alone in a lonely or confined area.

Talking to people on a discussion board is very different from chatting, or talking on phone. In the later case one is alone with a non-mahram and chances for improprieties are greater.

Western society sees things very differently, but islamic adab are there for a practical reason.

Hope this helps, insha allah.

Maa salaama,

Nausheen

Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.

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chastebeauty

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Posted: 19 March 2005 at 10:27pm

Jazakallah khairan.What is the most appropriate islamic way for youths to know eachother in the early stage before liking eachother, talkless of making commitments towards Nikaah?. We can't involve parents at this stage cos i don't think we would want a situation where everyone you meet and part, your parents get to be involved.

Infact it might even scare him away if i bring up a case like that at this stage cos we haven't met,we only chat and talk on the phone ocassionally.

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Knowledge01

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Posted: 22 March 2005 at 9:50pm

I wasn't aware that dating was a sin in islam. If you don't date, how do you find the wife that is trully right for you? I am not talking about dating including sex, just dating. I know premarrital sex is sin.

On the shaking hands part,

If I'm at a Muslim man's house and his wife is there, is it a sin for me to only shake her hand while greeting her? That has nothing to do with dating or any bad intentions except a simple greeting.

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mimi_3

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Posted: 03 April 2005 at 8:22am

It's haram to even touch a womans hand. It's as if you commited zina - adultery - which is one of the most unforgivable sins in Islam.

Also conversation with the opposite sex is not allowed either. No matter how religious you are you can still commit bad sins. There's a famous story of a man who was very religious. For 40 years he lived alone and only worshipped Allah (SWT). One day he decided to go out for food and he met a woman on the way. They got into a conversation and soon one thing led to the other and they commited zina. The man left feeling very guilty and he sat at the side of the river. A poor man approached him and asked him for some food and he decided to give him all the food he bought. The religious man then died and the time came to deciding whether or not the man should go to heaven or hell. It was decided he'd go to hell - even with his 40 years of worship, that few minutes of zina sent him to hell. But then the angels said that he did give a poor man his food so that little thing made him go to heaven. But just about. So the moral of the story? First, no matter how religious you are you can still commit the worst of sins. Secondly, every good thing you do counts!

Some useful verses from the Quran and sunnah:
- (Regarding looking purposely at a man.woman)

"Tell the believeing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. that is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is acquainted with what they do" (24:30)

The Prophet (SAS) said "The zina of the eye is in looking, [ie, at what Allah has made forbidden)"

He also said:
"The two eyes can commit zina, the two hands can commit zina, the two legs can commit zina, and the genitals can commit zina"

"And tell the believing woam to reduce [some] of their vision"
"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, that they should not display their beuty and ornaments...." (24:31)

- Regarding interaction between men and women

"And when ye ask (his ladies) for anything ye want, ask them from a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs@

- Regarding the shaking of the hands

The Prophet (SAS) said:
"If any of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron neele, it is better than that for him than to touch a women who is not lawful to him"

Hope I've been useful. Allah (SWT) forgive me for any incorrect things I've said.

Keep doing your duas....never give up.

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abuayisha

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Posted: 03 April 2005 at 3:30pm

"It's haram to even touch a womans hand. It's as if you commited zina - adultery - which is one of the most unforgivable sins in Islam."

That is a bit overstated - don't you think? Unless, of course, you have text to support your assertion. Forbidden, yes; but zina/adultery, and "most unforgivable" I think not.

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chastebeauty

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Posted: 03 April 2005 at 4:15pm

Jazakallah khairan! to all of you that responded to my question.

My conclusion is, to be on the safe side, we rather stay away from all of these, after all ( what good will touching hands be to males and females?). All ur proves tie into one another.

Thank you,

Masalaam.

Edited by chastebeauty

From Allah we come and to him is our return

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Topic: I need a Quran or hadith proove on......
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Author	Message
chastebeauty Newbie Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 24	Topic: I need a Quran or hadith proove on...... Posted: 15 March 2005 at 3:45am
	Salam! Firstly i need to know if it is haram talking on the phone and chatting with a male, cos i am aware dating is but what if you are far away from eachother and never met but only share Islamic and general views by chatting ? Secondly, we were taking about shaking hands and i said it was haram in islam to have any physical contact with a female be it a handshake or worse, he said to me on what verse or hadith did i see that. Pls i remember but not clearly may be in a hadith, that a man would rather face a certain pain or torture than touch a woman's hand his right hand does not posses. Can someone help me with the verse or hadith or something more scary or better. He thinks i am an extremist but if i proove it in writen(hadith or quran) he promise to believe me and i pray would work on it inshaAllah.
	IP Logged

abuayisha Senior Member Joined: 05 October 1999 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3994	Posted: 15 March 2005 at 6:40am
	It was narrated that Ma’qil ibn Yassaar said: the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “For one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him.” Narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, 486. Shaykh al-Albaani said in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5045, that this hadeeth is saheeh. Edited by abuayisha
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Nausheen Female Islam Senior Member Senior Member Joined: 10 January 2001 Location: Japan Online Status: Offline Posts: 4146	Posted: 17 March 2005 at 10:09pm
	*Originally posted by chastebeauty* Salam! Firstly i need to know if it is haram talking on the phone and chatting with a male, cos i am aware dating is but what if you are far away from eachother and never met but only share Islamic and general views by chatting ? Walaikum assalam wa rahmatullah. Idle chat per se may not be harmful. However, it may on occasions lead to somethings that turn out to be objectionable or haram in the religion. Anything that lead to haram, should be avoided, if not, a great deal of caution should be observed. That is for better piety. The ummulmo'mineen were reminded in the Quran, to be stren in their voices, when they are speaking to men. This should be taken as a general advice for all women. If the person is not your mahram, and there is no specific need for the discussion, it is better to avoid it. Unless ur sure, it will not lead somewhere else and you will not be misunderstood in any way. If there is a genuine need, at least try not to be alone with this person - or at least not alone in a lonely or confined area. Talking to people on a discussion board is very different from chatting, or talking on phone. In the later case one is alone with a non-mahram and chances for improprieties are greater. Western society sees things very differently, but islamic adab are there for a practical reason. Hope this helps, insha allah. Maa salaama, Nausheen
	Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.
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chastebeauty Newbie Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 24	Posted: 19 March 2005 at 10:27pm
	Jazakallah khairan.What is the most appropriate islamic way for youths to know eachother in the early stage before liking eachother, talkless of making commitments towards Nikaah?. We can't involve parents at this stage cos i don't think we would want a situation where everyone you meet and part, your parents get to be involved. Infact it might even scare him away if i bring up a case like that at this stage cos we haven't met,we only chat and talk on the phone ocassionally.
	IP Logged

Knowledge01 Senior Member Joined: 19 March 2005 Online Status: Offline Posts: 457	Posted: 22 March 2005 at 9:50pm
	I wasn't aware that dating was a sin in islam. If you don't date, how do you find the wife that is trully right for you? I am not talking about dating including sex, just dating. I know premarrital sex is sin. On the shaking hands part, If I'm at a Muslim man's house and his wife is there, is it a sin for me to only shake her hand while greeting her? That has nothing to do with dating or any bad intentions except a simple greeting.
	IP Logged

mimi_3 Starter Joined: 03 April 2005 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Offline Posts: 4	Posted: 03 April 2005 at 8:22am
	It's haram to even touch a womans hand. It's as if you commited zina - adultery - which is one of the most unforgivable sins in Islam. Also conversation with the opposite sex is not allowed either. No matter how religious you are you can still commit bad sins. There's a famous story of a man who was very religious. For 40 years he lived alone and only worshipped Allah (SWT). One day he decided to go out for food and he met a woman on the way. They got into a conversation and soon one thing led to the other and they commited zina. The man left feeling very guilty and he sat at the side of the river. A poor man approached him and asked him for some food and he decided to give him all the food he bought. The religious man then died and the time came to deciding whether or not the man should go to heaven or hell. It was decided he'd go to hell - even with his 40 years of worship, that few minutes of zina sent him to hell. But then the angels said that he did give a poor man his food so that little thing made him go to heaven. But just about. So the moral of the story? First, no matter how religious you are you can still commit the worst of sins. Secondly, every good thing you do counts! Some useful verses from the Quran and sunnah: - (Regarding looking purposely at a man.woman) "Tell the believeing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. that is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is acquainted with what they do" (24:30) The Prophet (SAS) said "The zina of the eye is in looking, [ie, at what Allah has made forbidden)" He also said: "The two eyes can commit zina, the two hands can commit zina, the two legs can commit zina, and the genitals can commit zina" "And tell the believing woam to reduce [some] of their vision" "And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, that they should not display their beuty and ornaments...." (24:31) - Regarding interaction between men and women "And when ye ask (his ladies) for anything ye want, ask them from a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs@ - Regarding the shaking of the hands The Prophet (SAS) said: "If any of you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron neele, it is better than that for him than to touch a women who is not lawful to him" Hope I've been useful. Allah (SWT) forgive me for any incorrect things I've said.
	Keep doing your duas....never give up.
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abuayisha Senior Member Joined: 05 October 1999 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3994	Posted: 03 April 2005 at 3:30pm
	"It's haram to even touch a womans hand. It's as if you commited zina - adultery - which is one of the most unforgivable sins in Islam." That is a bit overstated - don't you think? Unless, of course, you have text to support your assertion. Forbidden, yes; but zina/adultery, and "most unforgivable" I think not.
	IP Logged

chastebeauty Newbie Joined: 11 March 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 24	Posted: 03 April 2005 at 4:15pm
	Jazakallah khairan! to all of you that responded to my question. My conclusion is, to be on the safe side, we rather stay away from all of these, after all ( what good will touching hands be to males and females?). All ur proves tie into one another. Thank you, Masalaam. Edited by chastebeauty
	From Allah we come and to him is our return
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