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FatimaQ

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Topic: husband not supporting financially
Posted: 02 January 2009 at 7:59pm

My husband is not fulfilling his duties as a husband and I'm wondering what to do. He is in India and I am in the US trying to get him a visa. He was working in the UAE and got himself in debt and is not returning to work as fear of what will happen to him if he doesn't pay. So now he is stuck in India and not working. He is not even trying or attempting to work and I had enough so today I told him not to speak to me until he is able to completely take on his responsibilities. I'm sure this was wrong of me to do but maybe it will push him to stop sitting around and start working. What are a women's rights if her husband doesn't take care of her. I just want to be a housewife and mother yet I'm forced to try to work to feed my son. What should I do??? Should I talk to my husband or give him a little time?? Any advice would be great.

-Fatima

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Hayfa
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Posted: 15 January 2009 at 9:23am

Asalam Alaikum Fatima,

Sorry I did not see this... welcome to the Forum by the way.

As far as Islamically, he should support you. Of course making every attempt to work it out. On the other hand yopur obligation is to take care of your son.

Sadly the economy is having a negative effect. And if you add mismanagement of money by some, many families are affected.

The reality is for now, you may have to work-one has to eat. It certainly does not help the distance as it makes conversation difficult.

Are you thinking of divorce? Do you have family here?

Hayfa

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

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abuayisha

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Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:12am

It is a good possibility he is depressed. I don't know what type of work he does, but, I would assume the rate in India is much lower than UAE standards and far lower than American wages. Do you realistically expect that he could sustain your American expenses and lifestyle on an India salary? Maybe patience is in order here, and hopefully once he joins you in the USA, things will get better. How long do you anticipate the INS process to take?

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Saladin
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Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:47am

There're plenty of Indian youth earning enough to sustain plenty of 'happy hours'. And there're westerners in India now, working and earning in dollar$. But there're also plenty of Indians who're starving with some committing suicide due to xtreme poverty. India's a strange place. Some superpower they gonna be.

'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'

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Akhe Abdullah
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Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:51am

Originally posted by abuayisha

As Salaamu Alaikum Brother Abuayisha.You asked a very good question there. Do you realistically expect that he could sustain your American expenses and lifestyle on an India salary?

Edited by Akhe Abdullah - 01 October 2009 at 11:45am

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FatimaQ

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Posted: 15 January 2009 at 1:55pm

No I don't expect him to fully sustain my expenses. I was just thinking it would be nice if he tried to work to support his family. Look how many Indians are working hard every day? Do they make alot of money?? No but at least they are trying. I am talking to my husband and being as patient as I possibly can. We will hear back on his visa in 4 months. InshaAllah.

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FatimaQ

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Posted: 15 January 2009 at 2:03pm

Wa alaikum salaam,
No I am not thinking of divorce as of right now. If he doesn't get a visa then that may be the only option. I do have family here which are helping as much as they can. I am starting work next month and moving to another city. InshaAllah. It is hard living as a single mother when I'm not actually one. I think a father should work as hard as he can for his family. Just my opinion.

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Hayfa
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Posted: 21 January 2009 at 12:06pm

Asalaam Fatima,

I think everyone agrees he should be working hard... people should try and do the best they can. Is he a 'practicing' Muslim? It is so easy to get caught up in the Dunya.. and sometimes out of sight out of mind so to speak.. single parenthood IS hard and not recommended. My duas for you and your family.

Hayfa

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi

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Family Matter
IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter

Author	Message
FatimaQ Starter Joined: 02 January 2009 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 3	Topic: husband not supporting financially Posted: 02 January 2009 at 7:59pm
	My husband is not fulfilling his duties as a husband and I'm wondering what to do. He is in India and I am in the US trying to get him a visa. He was working in the UAE and got himself in debt and is not returning to work as fear of what will happen to him if he doesn't pay. So now he is stuck in India and not working. He is not even trying or attempting to work and I had enough so today I told him not to speak to me until he is able to completely take on his responsibilities. I'm sure this was wrong of me to do but maybe it will push him to stop sitting around and start working. What are a women's rights if her husband doesn't take care of her. I just want to be a housewife and mother yet I'm forced to try to work to feed my son. What should I do??? Should I talk to my husband or give him a little time?? Any advice would be great. -Fatima
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Hayfa Female Islam Senior Member Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 2370	Posted: 15 January 2009 at 9:23am
	Asalam Alaikum Fatima, Sorry I did not see this... welcome to the Forum by the way. As far as Islamically, he should support you. Of course making every attempt to work it out. On the other hand yopur obligation is to take care of your son. Sadly the economy is having a negative effect. And if you add mismanagement of money by some, many families are affected. The reality is for now, you may have to work-one has to eat. It certainly does not help the distance as it makes conversation difficult. Are you thinking of divorce? Do you have family here? Hayfa
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
	IP Logged

abuayisha Senior Member Joined: 05 October 1999 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3993	Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:12am
	It is a good possibility he is depressed. I don't know what type of work he does, but, I would assume the rate in India is much lower than UAE standards and far lower than American wages. Do you realistically expect that he could sustain your American expenses and lifestyle on an India salary? Maybe patience is in order here, and hopefully once he joins you in the USA, things will get better. How long do you anticipate the INS process to take?
	IP Logged

Saladin Male Islam Senior Member Joined: 04 September 2007 Location: Sri Lanka Online Status: Offline Posts: 575	Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:47am
	There're plenty of Indian youth earning enough to sustain plenty of 'happy hours'. And there're westerners in India now, working and earning in dollar$. But there're also plenty of Indians who're starving with some committing suicide due to xtreme poverty. India's a strange place. Some superpower they gonna be.
	'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'
	IP Logged

Akhe Abdullah Male Islam Senior Member Joined: 19 November 2008 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 1252	Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:51am
	*Originally posted by abuayisha* It is a good possibility he is depressed. I don't know what type of work he does, but, I would assume the rate in India is much lower than UAE standards and far lower than American wages. Do you realistically expect that he could sustain your American expenses and lifestyle on an India salary? Maybe patience is in order here, and hopefully once he joins you in the USA, things will get better. How long do you anticipate the INS process to take? As Salaamu Alaikum Brother Abuayisha.You asked a very good question there. Do you realistically expect that he could sustain your American expenses and lifestyle on an India salary? Edited by Akhe Abdullah - 01 October 2009 at 11:45am
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FatimaQ Starter Joined: 02 January 2009 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 3	Posted: 15 January 2009 at 1:55pm
	No I don't expect him to fully sustain my expenses. I was just thinking it would be nice if he tried to work to support his family. Look how many Indians are working hard every day? Do they make alot of money?? No but at least they are trying. I am talking to my husband and being as patient as I possibly can. We will hear back on his visa in 4 months. InshaAllah.
	IP Logged

FatimaQ Starter Joined: 02 January 2009 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 3	Posted: 15 January 2009 at 2:03pm
	Wa alaikum salaam, No I am not thinking of divorce as of right now. If he doesn't get a visa then that may be the only option. I do have family here which are helping as much as they can. I am starting work next month and moving to another city. InshaAllah. It is hard living as a single mother when I'm not actually one. I think a father should work as hard as he can for his family. Just my opinion.
	IP Logged

Hayfa Female Islam Senior Member Joined: 07 June 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 2370	Posted: 21 January 2009 at 12:06pm
	Asalaam Fatima, I think everyone agrees he should be working hard... people should try and do the best they can. Is he a 'practicing' Muslim? It is so easy to get caught up in the Dunya.. and sometimes out of sight out of mind so to speak.. single parenthood IS hard and not recommended. My duas for you and your family. Hayfa
	When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
	IP Logged