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Family Matter
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FatimaQ
 
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Quote FatimaQ Replybullet Topic: husband not supporting financially
    Posted: 02 January 2009 at 7:59pm
My husband is not fulfilling his duties as a husband and I'm wondering what to do. He is in India and I am in the US trying to get him a visa. He was working in the UAE and got himself in debt and is not returning to work as fear of what will happen to him if he doesn't pay. So now he is stuck in India and not working. He is not even trying or attempting to work and I had enough so today I told him not to speak to me until he is able to completely take on his responsibilities. I'm sure this was wrong of me to do but maybe it will push him to stop sitting around and start working. What are a women's rights if her husband doesn't take care of her. I just want to be a housewife and mother yet I'm forced to try to work to feed my son. What should I do??? Should I talk to my husband or give him a little time?? Any advice would be great.

-Fatima
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Hayfa
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 15 January 2009 at 9:23am
Asalam Alaikum Fatima,
 
Sorry I did not see this... welcome to the Forum by the way.
 
As far as Islamically, he should support you. Of course making every attempt to work it out. On the other hand yopur obligation is to take care of your son.
 
Sadly the economy is having a negative effect. And if you add mismanagement of money by some, many families are affected.
 
The reality is for now, you may have to work-one has to eat.  It certainly does not help the distance as it makes conversation difficult.
 
Are you thinking of divorce? Do you have family here?
 
Hayfa 
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:12am

It is a good possibility he is depressed.  I don't know what type of work he does, but, I would assume the rate in India is much lower than UAE standards and far lower than American wages.  Do you realistically expect that he could sustain your American expenses and lifestyle on an India salary?  Maybe patience is in order here, and hopefully once he joins you in the USA, things will get better.  How long do you anticipate the INS process to take? 

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Saladin
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Quote Saladin Replybullet Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:47am
There're plenty of Indian youth earning enough to sustain plenty of 'happy hours'. And there're westerners in India now, working and earning in dollar$. But there're also plenty of Indians who're starving with some committing suicide due to xtreme poverty. India's a strange place. Some superpower they gonna be.

'Trust everyone but not the devil in them'
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Akhe Abdullah
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Quote Akhe Abdullah Replybullet Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:51am
Originally posted by abuayisha

It is a good possibility he is depressed. I don't know what type of work he does, but, I would assume the rate in India is much lower than UAE standards and far lower than American wages. Do you realistically expect that he could sustain your American expenses and lifestyle on an India salary? Maybe patience is in order here, and hopefully once he joins you in the USA, things will get better. How long do you anticipate the INS process to take?

As Salaamu Alaikum Brother Abuayisha.You asked a very good question there. Do you realistically expect that he could sustain your American expenses and lifestyle on an India salary?

Edited by Akhe Abdullah - 01 October 2009 at 11:45am
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FatimaQ
 
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Quote FatimaQ Replybullet Posted: 15 January 2009 at 1:55pm
No I don't expect him to fully sustain my expenses. I was just thinking it would be nice if he tried to work to support his family. Look how many Indians are working hard every day? Do they make alot of money?? No but at least they are trying. I am talking to my husband and being as patient as I possibly can. We will hear back on his visa in 4 months. InshaAllah.
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FatimaQ
 
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Quote FatimaQ Replybullet Posted: 15 January 2009 at 2:03pm
Wa alaikum salaam,
No I am not thinking of divorce as of right now.  If he doesn't get a visa then that may be the only option. I do have family here which are helping as much as they can. I am starting work next month and moving to another city. InshaAllah. It is hard living as a single mother when I'm not actually one. I think a father should work as hard as he can for his family. Just my opinion.
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Quote Hayfa Replybullet Posted: 21 January 2009 at 12:06pm
Asalaam Fatima,
 
I think everyone agrees he should be working hard... people should try and do the best they can. Is he a 'practicing' Muslim? It is so easy to get caught up in the Dunya.. and sometimes out of sight out of mind so to speak.. single parenthood IS hard and not recommended. My duas for you and your family.
 
Hayfa 
When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy. Rumi
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