As salaamulaikum Sister Sharon Jundi.Again I am very pleased to hear from you.You are in my prayers my sister and your family.Whatever you do dont force him into dicissions he is not ready to make.Practise patience.Ive read in Ahadith before, visit someone enough and love will develope.I wish that I could give you a solution to your problem but I can't.Only Allah can.I will be here for support (Inshallah).I would like to talk about have your husban ever expressed interest in having more than one wife or is one just to much.Last Ramadan my Imam gave a speech about the importance of marriage.I thought to myself Im not ready for this again.Only Allah knows if its meant to be.Do not let your emotions get the best of you,somethings are just out of our control.Like Imani says stay calm and choose the right things to say at the right moment. (Inshallah)When I was married and I was faced with divorce,I tried everything I could to make the transition easy for everyone even though it was happening basicly to me.Belive me sister I know well what you are going through its very sad.The more I tried the more I further push her away.You and your husban with the help of Allah Al Aziz,raised two healthy boys and had 28yrs together (Allahuakbar).Thats a long time,speaking of marriage today in American society.I know in Muslim Society it should be long but the truth is nothing happens except if Allah Wills it to happen.Maybe your husban looks at his life and feels thats all he has done with it.Even though its a wonderfull thing and he says he whats you to be happy.You should, but you are most happy with him and you also gave 28yrs of yourself.Sister it is always good to have someone to talk to,in order to best prepare yourself.So he comes over and bring you food thats good(Ahamduillah).Not to be nosey but,Is your husban the sole provider in your house?If so then you feel that he is all you have?Do you have any hobbies,activeties,something to preoccupy your time,or maybe make new friends at your local Masjids.I heard you say he has friends but, do you? May Allah except our intentions.(Inshallah)Ameen.Please reply back I would like to know that you are doing o.k

Hello again,
I am really having a bad day today. My emotions are
really bizarre. It is so hard to cope with this reality
now. My husband has never mentioned anything about getting another wife. Do you believe that their is a soulmate for everyone?   I am about to give up on this
relationship totally. I am tired of being upset and
why is he so nice lately?
To your question about the income, he works and I
work part-time and going to go back full time soon.
I need to get a full time job to take care of myself.
I just do not want to be alone at this age and I do
not want to be with anyone else except him. I know
that my sound selfish, but after so many years together
I can not accept that he is gone and will never be back.
I wish he would not be so nice, unless he has plans in
the future with me. Please tell me what is the reason
for being so nice to me.
I try to stay busy all the time, but I think about him
80 percent of the time. Every where I go, I see something that reminds me of him. The memories are so
strong all the time.   I need help..... I feel like I
have a disease that will not cure. I do not know what
to do anyone.   I am so afraid that he is being nice
so he can finally leave me forever. That this his exit
in my life. He pays the house note and he has paid it
for the next 2 months ahead of time. How can he do so
much for me lately, and then not love me anymore.
I want him back home, but he talks like it is over.
It is as if I can get a full time job and then he will
be gone forever, as long as I can support myself.
I keep praying for a change to happen, but am I wasting
my time on wanting him back in my life.

I hope you will continue to pray for me and that ALLAH
will help me soon on what to do and to be a stronger
person now, as I need help.

May ALLAH bless us all.

Sharon

Edited by sharonjundi - 25 November 2008 at 3:19pm