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Ruhi Islam
 
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Quote Ruhi Islam Replybullet Topic: Response to Istikhara
    Posted: 06 October 2008 at 12:03pm
Salam alaikum ww sisters and brothers
 
I want to know how exactly one is responded to when they pray istikhara. Is it dreams, signs, feelings or obstacles?
 
For the married ones among you, I am assuming you prayed istikhara before getting married, how exactly did you know it was 'meant to be' thereafter? In what way/s was your istikhara responded to? And for the unmarried ones, how did you know it wasn't good?
 
Alhamdula I have prayed istikhara, but sometimes I simply do not know! I dont know if I am driven by my heart, brain or stomach (as in butterflies) etc. I don't know if it is good or otherwise, sometimes I am nervous, sometimes I am happy, but I think overall I am at peace. What do you do in such a case when you simply do not know?
 
Thanks guys and galsSmile fe'amanAllah
 
 


Edited by Ruhi Islam - 06 October 2008 at 5:33pm
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Shasta'sAunt
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Quote Shasta'sAunt Replybullet Posted: 06 October 2008 at 3:51pm
Originally posted by Ruhi Islam

Salam alaikum ww sisters and brothers
 
I want to know how exactly one is responded to when they pray istikhara. Is it dreams, signs, feelings or obstacles?
 
For those of you lucky married ones, I am assuming you prayed istikhara before getting married, how exactly did you know it was 'meant to be' thereafter? In what way/s was your istikhara responded to?
 
Alhamdula I have prayed istikhara, but sometimes I simply do not know! I dont know if I am driven by my heart, brain or stomach (as in butterflies) etc. I don't know if it is good or otherwise, sometimes I am nervous, sometimes I am happy, but I think overall I am at peace. What do you do in such a case when you simply do not know?
 
Thanks guys and galsSmile fe'amanAllah
 
 
 
Assalamu Alaikum:
 
There isn't anything mystical about it. You are asking Allah to bring you what is best for you and to make you happy with it or to keep away what is bad for you and to make you happy with that.
 
For example: you might get a job promotion if you are willing to move to a new city. You pray istikhara and ask Allah to bring what is best for you and your faith and let you be happy with that and take away what is not good for you and let you be happy with that. So if you get the promotion and decide to move then Insha'Allah it will be good for you, if the promotion falls through then Insha'Allah that is best for you. Either way, you have asked for Allah's guidance and that He help you accept the outcome as what is best for you and your Iman.
 
When I was looking for a husband I knew a Sister in another state whose husband had a single friend. They were very religious and said he was a good man, so he flew out to spend a week and meet with me and my wali.
When I saw him he was extremely handsome and charming, so I was very attracted to him. His mom was in the states visiting from Egypt and she spoke English so I spoke with her on the phone. She was very sweet and wanted him to be married. He had bought a diamond ring that was my size...
 
It all seemed perfect and since I found him SO appealling I wanted to marry him. He wanted to marry me. He was willing to do an engagement period and travel back and forth so we could get to know each other better. My wali checked him out as best he could and he seemed like a solid Brother. I prayed istikhara the whole week he was in town. And then the day before he was supposed to leave we were going to a restaurant  for dinner. My friend, her husband, there two children, and he and I were in their van talking and he got upset about something and made us stop the van and he got out in the middle of downtown during rush hour and refused to get back in. We had to circle around the block 4 or 5 times before he would get back in the van. It was crazy.
 
Of course, I didn't marry him. He clearly had anger issues. But it still hurt a little because I really liked him and was very attracted to him. I had wanted to marry him, but Al HamdilAllah I got to see his anger and how unreasonable he was before I made the mistake of marrying him.
 
This is how I think the Istikhara prayer works. We ask Allah to guide us because we don't always know what's the best for us when we are dazzled or we REALLY want something or just aren't sure, and then once we are given that guidance we ask that Allah make it easy for us to accept, even if it is disappointing or not what we thought we wanted/ didn't want.
 
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
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Ruhi Islam
 
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Quote Ruhi Islam Replybullet Posted: 06 October 2008 at 5:47pm
JazakAllah khairan sister, I like the way you said there is nothing mystical about it, and you are absolutely right, but sometimes, and this is the truth, I simply do not know...my sister got married to a guy, before the marriage she was nervous and her husband had a dream they were upset sitting far away from each other, regardless of these 'signs' they still got married and of course, 3 yrs later got divorced.
 
I guess you know at the end when you look back yeah? but then it might be too late. I tend to be a little blind to signs, if it is not black and white, I simply won't see it. My feelings change...I don't know, you can see how confused I am.
 
I always pray, Oh Allah, if someone is not meant to be, then don't send them to me, don't raise my hopes if at the end it's not going to work out, and when you do send someone, make them the be all and the end all, and once you have given them to me, don't take them away.
 
Now alhamdula I have someone in my life, it's still the very early stages, but I've had heaps in my life, I hope this one is the final one, I hate to tell guys about myself for it to be in jest, even though I know our intention was for marriage and that whatever I told him is safe...
 
I am so glad we have the concept of istikhara in Islam, I just wish I was more literate in interpreting it...or maybe it doesnt require any interpreting? I dont know! Anyways thanks sis
 
 


Edited by Ruhi Islam - 06 October 2008 at 8:30pm
Judge the deed, not the breed. Islam & Muslims are two different things, a Muslim should not necessarily be associated with Islam.
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Quote Shasta'sAunt Replybullet Posted: 09 October 2008 at 10:01am
Assalamu Alaikum:
 
Maybe he had the dream because he had doubts to begin with?
 
This article was actually just sent to me by an e-group I belong to, maybe it's a sign...Smile
 
Istikharah: The Guidance Prayer
We are humans, powerless in this sphere of life, knowledgeable only
enough to survive. So why shouldn't we turn to Allah and seek His
perfect help whenever we require it? Allah responds to the call of
His servant when he asks for guidance, and we are after all seeking
to do something in order to please Him.

Istikharah means to ask Allah to guide you to the path best for you
concerning an affair with two halal options. In matters that are
wajib (obligatory), haram (forbidden) or makruh (disliked) there is
no need to pray Istikharah. Salaat-ul-Istikharah should only be used
for matters that are mubah (allowed) or in matters that are mustahabb
(liked or encouraged), in which there is a decision to be made as to
which one should be given priority (i.e. get married or go to grad
school).

Many wrong notions exist concerning istikharah. Many Muslims will
pray, read the du'a, and run to bed expecting to see a dream showing
them their future wife, what her favourite colour is, and some other
weird fantasy. That is not the purpose of this salat.

The results of an istikharah can take many forms. Basically, you go
by your feelings, whether you now feel more favourable or not. Also,
you may notice events have changed, either for or against you. Note
that you must follow the results of an istikharah, because not doing
so is tantamount to rejecting Allah's guidance once you've asked for
it. Also, you should firstly clear your mind, not have your mind
already decided, and then afterwards follow the results willingly.

It is a sunnah that, if one must choose between permissible
alternaratives, one may pray two non-obligatory rak'at, even if they
are of the sunnah prayers or a prayer for entering the mosque, and so
on, during any time of the day or night, and to recite therein
whatever one wishes of the Qur'an after reciting al-Fatihah. Then one
praises Allah and sends salutations to the Prophet and recites the
supplication in the Hadith below.

The description of Salaat-ul-Istikharah was narrated by Jabir
ibn 'Abd- Allah al-Salami (may Allah be pleased with him) who said:
    "The Messenger of Allah used to teach his companions to make
istikharah in all things, just as he used to teach them surahs from
the Qur'an.

He said: 'If any one of you is concerned about a decision he has to
make, then let him pray two rak'ahs of non-obligatory prayer, then
say:



'O Allah, I seek Your guidance [in making a choice] by virtue of Your
knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You
of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I
know not. You are the Knower of hidden things. O Allah, if in Your
knowledge, this matter (then it should be mentioned by name) is good
for me both in this world and in the Hereafter (or: in my religion,
my livelihood and my affairs), then ordain it for me, make it easy
for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge it is bad for
me and for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs (or: for me both
in this world and the next), then turn me away from it, [and turn it
away from me], and ordain for me the good wherever it may be and make
me pleased with it."

The Prophet added that then the person should mention his need.
[Sahih Bukhari]
Salat-ul-Istikharah is just two rakats of a non-obligatory prayer,
prayed at anytime during the day, with a specific dua at the end.
While reciting the dua, you should be thinking about the situation
you want to be advised about with pure intentions and from the bottom
of your heart. And Allah says that whenever he guides a heart aright
it can never be misguided. Afterwards, you should 'have a good
feeling' about one of your options. Whatever option you feel is best
right after you say the dua should be your decision. If you're still
in doubt, you can repeat.

An-Nawawi holds that
    "...after performing the istikharah, a person must do what he
is wholeheartedly inclined to do and feels good about doing and
should not insist on doing what he had desired to do before making
the istikharah. And if his feelings change, he should leave what he
had intended to do, otherwise he is not completely leaving the choice
to Allah, and would not be honest in seeking aid from Allah's power
and knowledge. Sincerity in seeking Allah's choice, means that one
should completely leave what he himself had desired or determined."
Some people mistakenly wait for a dream to give a clear sign as to
what decision to make, but this is not true, and often times it never
really happens. In fact, dreams may lead you away from what Allah
wants you to do, as Shaytan might try to deceive you in your dreams.

Salat-ul-Istikharah is for everybody. It's a way for all of us to
implore Allah for divine guidance and mercy. It is yet another
invaluable resource from Allah to keep us on the straight and narrow
Sirat al-Mustaqim. The Prophet told all Muslims about Istikharah, not
just the scholars. Despite this gift, too many of us take the advice
of our friends and parents, or accept the norms of our society and
act without ever wondering what Allah wants us to do. We must stop
looking to the dunya for guidance. We must begin to consult Allah.

I cannot provide a better conclusion than saying that you must put
your trust in Allah. You must have trust in His concern for us, and
His ability to help us. Allah says:
    "Put your trust in Allh, certainly, Allh loves those who
put their trust (in Him)." [Surah Al-Imran Ayah 159]
http://www.islaam.net/main/display.php?id=608&category=7

==
==

By Mufti Ebrahim Desai
POSTED: 4 RABI-UL-AWWAL 1422, 27 MAY 2001


Edited by Shasta'sAunt - 09 October 2008 at 10:02am
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
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Ruhi Islam
 
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Quote Ruhi Islam Replybullet Posted: 09 October 2008 at 12:39pm
JazakAllah khairan so much sister, I really enjoyed that! Nothing new, nothing surprising, plain reminder, great reminder. Alhamdula for istikhara.
 
Sis, what do you mean maybe it's a sign? Im not sure if I can say this here, but the current guy in my life seems just a little bit too loose, and his values are shallow and superficial.
 
Sometimes I'd get so nervous about him, other times, I'm fine, but you know what, as neutral as I am about the whole situation, I doubt it will blossom, simply because everytime we talk things quickly turn 'adult' rated and I keep telling him if he is serious, then to stop.
 
Also, he doesn't come online very much...I'll see how things go inshala, mmm now what did I learn from this experience I do not know, inshala wherever the good is, we'll be guided to it. I don't think I have any regrets alhamdula, if it works out, then great, if not, then great as I know I am made that much closer to the right one inshala.
 
Sis I know you dont know me, but will you please pray for me? Thanks love, thank you for taking the time to answer my thread.
Judge the deed, not the breed. Islam & Muslims are two different things, a Muslim should not necessarily be associated with Islam.
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Quote Gulliver Replybullet Posted: 09 October 2008 at 12:57pm
 
I had not heard of this prayer Shasta.  I said it tonight and I got an 'answer', one I could not have expected within an hour. God is good :-)
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Quote Ruhi Islam Replybullet Posted: 09 October 2008 at 1:27pm
Good to know a non-Muslim used that prayer! Smile
 
You read the translations, you can see there is nothing scary about it, and having read it has not made you a Muslim, but hopefully, one day we will all be guided to the right path. Ameen
Judge the deed, not the breed. Islam & Muslims are two different things, a Muslim should not necessarily be associated with Islam.
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 09 October 2008 at 10:22pm
As'Salamu Alaikum,
 
A very good discussion going on here.
 
By the way sister Shasta, did you return that diamond set.Smile
 
Certainly, thru Isteqarah, we seek guidance and Allah swt does guide us to the best path thru it. We happen to hear mostly, that people offer this salah, esp while settling marriages. While, we can also offer it, for our other important decisions of life. Anyways, i would like to share one of my experiences. A marriage proposal was getting settled of a sister. Her family and herself was offering Isqarah. They cud not understand any such  sign or message from Allah swt. They settled itafter thorough investigations. Dates were finalised. This news was spread all over her freinds and families. Few days before the day of her marriage, that family of groom's side themselves, called up and invited elders to meet. There they said, though we did not wish to let this news out, but seeing you people very simple, we do not wish to cheat. They said that the BOY WAS ALREADY MARRIED. Thus, today she feels that it was Isteqarah, that saved her, even when they cud not understand those signs from Allah swt, Anyways, Allah swt certainly guides the one, who seeks guidance.
 
But sister Ruhi, i was reading this line of yours
 
 always pray, Oh Allah, if someone is not meant to be, then don't send them to me, don't raise my hopes if at the end it's not going to work out, and when you do send someone, make them the be all and the end all, and once you have given them to me, don't take them away
 
I understand, its tough for a girl to meet the end, which does not work out, but remember, even such acts are also rewarded by Allah swt, The alliance which may not work out, must not be worth of you, and must not have stored the best for you, So it does n't work out. Being with patience at such times is rewarding.
 
And if you don't mind, i would like to say something about the partner you are going to choose. Never expect perfection in any. But yes, look for a practicing muslim. When he is religious, insha Allah, you shall have a good life both here and hereafter, Insha Allah. Don't haste while making such decisions, saying that this is going to be last or final --. After all its matter of rest of life.
 
Thru Isteqarah, as said, you may not necessarily dream, but your heart may also get inclined towards a decision. I pray Allah swt, that he blesses you with a good husband, who shall help you strive and acheive for goodness, both here and hereafter. Ameen.
 
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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