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Groups – Men (Brothers)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups – Men (Brothers)
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Arabian
 
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Quote Arabian Replybullet Posted: 28 June 2005 at 9:27pm

Suleyman,

Your faith in me is most honored and respected.  May Allah's deepest blessings be upon you.

Lameese,

You pose good points.  My answer to your question is no; these women are not worth a ticket to hell.

I did not intend for this thread to go so far out of topic, but it has happened nevertheless.  In a way I am glad that I have posted my opinion here.  I sat down and really thought about why I do these things, and I realized the reason.  The reason is the pressure I get from those around me.  All my friends, always talking about this girl and that girl.  It was a normal thing for me.  I never saw it as a huge crime because everybody was doing it.

There was a time where I was going to stop it all.  And I tried to; I really and truly gave it all my effort.  I met this wonderful woman in my honors class, a nice clean woman.  I decided to drop everything; I truly believed she was sent to stop my wicked ways.  I became gentle, bought her a nice ‘cute’ teddy bear that held a rose and asked her out on a date.  I constantly praised her, telling her how beautiful she was; and do you know what happened?  I failed miserably.  Do you know what I did?  I didn’t even wait one day after that.  The same night I failed with her, I went back to my old ways and found another woman.

I am glad I posted my opinion because I finally got a second opinion on my behavior.  When I posted my objections to Israfil’s post I thought I would get a more positive response as I have always gotten from this topic.  Instead I get the opposite.  You people have taught me that there are other ways to go about living with women, and it doesn’t have to include sex.  Will I change from this experience?  I don’t know, I hope so.  If I change, will I be weaker?  I don’t think so!

Peace to you all,
Arabian

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MOCKBA
 
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Quote MOCKBA Replybullet Posted: 28 June 2005 at 9:40pm

Arabian,

Subhanallah!

In every woman or a girl you see try to visualise someone's mother, someone's future mother... Think of one day having a daughter and imagine how would you feel if someone expressed his lustful interest with his eye and mannerism to her... imagine someone's thoughts caressing your wife-to-be's beauty at a shopping mall when you are not around... and reflect! 

We are all humans and we all have certain preferences and desires. It is not castration (physical or mental) that is required for the salvation. It is taking control over shahwa and being obedient to Allah as much as we can.

Take it easy, insha Allah.

MOCKBA
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Lameese
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Quote Lameese Replybullet Posted: 29 June 2005 at 1:23am

Originally posted by Arabian


Lameese,

You pose good points.  My answer to your question is no; these women are not worth a ticket to hell.

I did not intend for this thread to go so far out of topic, but it has happened nevertheless.  In a way I am glad that I have posted my opinion here.  I sat down and really thought about why I do these things, and I realized the reason.  The reason is the pressure I get from those around me.  All my friends, always talking about this girl and that girl.  It was a normal thing for me.  I never saw it as a huge crime because everybody was doing it.

 

Peace to you all,
Arabian

Arabian,

I know I am going to sound like your mother here but.... you cannot blame others for your actions now. I understand everyone else is doing it and I understand the pressure. But you are more or less an adult now (I do not know your age) and you are responsible for YOUR behavior, no one elses. Your friends might be doing it but they do not have to go to hell for you either.

I am not being mean here, I was your age once and I understand what it is to be young. But you have to remember, for every action there is a reaction. And you do not want your children to ever see you in this light, nor  the woman you finally decide to marry, nor your sweet mama.  You know in your soul what you should be doing, now make your heart listen to you. You have to really want to change. That is the only way you will change.

I wish you luck!

Alla Ma3ak,

Lameese

You Shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another and let it be a moving sea between the the shores of your soul
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Ali Zaki
 
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Quote Ali Zaki Replybullet Posted: 29 June 2005 at 7:55am

Salam to Arabian,

Allah hu Alim (Allah (alone) is the judge).

I think you are confused about your true motivations and goals. Allah (s.w.a.) placed the desire for a physical connection between man in women in us, and provided us with the proper means to fulfill this desire in a way that brings us closer to him. You are confusing the means (sexual intercourse) with the goal (spritual perfection, attaining nearness to Allah (s.w.a.).

Allah (s.w.a.) has made it clear for us the rules and regulations regarding this aspect of our lives in Quran and Hadith. If you choose to ignore these regulations, then you will not acheive the peace that you are seeking. The rules are not meant to restrict your ability to find satisfaction, in fact, the opposite is true. The purpose of these rules is to allow the individual to fulfill ones needs while progreesing towards the goal.

Salam

"The structure of faith is supported by four pillars endurance, conviction, justice and jihad."

Imam Ali (a.s.)
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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 29 June 2005 at 6:44pm

Salaam,

 

I'm curious why the moderators deleted my post but I just wanted to say that I'm glad there is some evolution involved with the remarks of what people are talking about when it comes to personalities.

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MOCKBA
 
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Quote MOCKBA Replybullet Posted: 29 June 2005 at 8:08pm

Bismillah

Originally posted by Israfil

I'm curious why the moderators deleted my post...
 

Myself not aware, brother Israfil.

MOCKBA
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Suleyman
 
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Quote Suleyman Replybullet Posted: 29 June 2005 at 9:01pm
Originally posted by Israfil

Salaam,

 

I'm curious why the moderators deleted my post but I just wanted to say that I'm glad there is some evolution involved with the remarks of what people are talking about when it comes to personalities.

This is an serious problem should be solved...i am thinking on it...

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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 30 June 2005 at 10:04pm

Salaam,

Perhaps my post was not properly inserted after I finished but I then again this is not the first case where I assumed that my post was deleted so maybe this can be a mental note to the moderators here. I just wanted to finally add that its quite pleasant to see that many of you take this subject seriously. I have to again reiterate the importance of mankinds conduct to one another. We are all creatures on God's planet who at some point in life are finding our way towards the right behavior. Each attitude reflects our own understanding of ourselves and how we must be in this world.

This is the importance that God has mentioned in the Qur'an. God never mentioned perfection being an important trait to apprehend but the effort of being good and doing good deeds. I understand for many men its quite hard to be consistent. For me personally its hard being Muslim. God mentions that in the Qur'an we are ever tried--even goes on to raise the question whether humans would think of obtaining paradise without being tried?

I believe that the Qur'an contains the blueprint of a being a good man, and as our beloved prophet extends in the Hadith, the best Muslim is one who is (first) good to his wife. Goodness is the key to sustaining ones faith. Goodness is the quality in which sustains the human race. Goodness is a quality in which creates the smile in a child. Goodness is an abstract quality in which creates a ripple in the human family that eventually reciprocates. I believe that ultimately we must reflect this quality.

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