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Groups – Men (Brothers)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups – Men (Brothers)
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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 25 June 2005 at 6:11pm

Funny how so-called Shia permit sexual intercourse outside of marriage as something permissible in Islam, this is the problem with sects in the first place....

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DavidC
 
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Quote DavidC Replybullet Posted: 25 June 2005 at 8:54pm
Arabian, perhaps you are mistaking women's attraction to men who are self
confident?

One can be kind and self confident but that is indeed inpossible to fake. It
truly requires a deep and abiding faith that typically is not found until later
in life.
David C.
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Arabian
 
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Quote Arabian Replybullet Posted: 25 June 2005 at 9:52pm

DavidC,

Self confidence is a major part in the game of attraction.  Without it you will go nowhere.

I agree that you can be kind and self confident and still be attractive, but the cocky guy who is self confident will create a much greater attraction.  In other words, the bad boy.

Here is an excerpt from a popular book, "Bad Boys" by Carol Lieberman and Lisa Collier:

"...What is a bad boy? He's a rebel without a cause, a cool dude in a motorcycle jacket, a real-life Huckleberry Finn who wants to take you on a wild river ride to adventure. He's wounded, moody, misunderstood-a dreamer, a seducer, a daredevil. He is a man of mystery and a fascinating paradox. He's both a lost little boy and a man with a dark side. He breaks your heart with his wicked ways, but whether he's a wanton wolf or a dangerous desperado, he makes you long to rescue him from his pain. He's hurtful cruel, or simply careless and self-absorbed, but you can't resist jumping on his motorcycle and roaring off into the steamy night with him. And once you've given him your heart forever... he's gone with the wind! He is someone who sets off throbbing sexual and aggressive passions within you. Because he's aloof and elusive, you get caught up in the challenge and excitement of the chase-though he's not always someone you'd really want even if you did capture him. A bad boy may tell you he's generally right. He's a frog you hope to turn into a fairy-tale prince with the magic of your kiss..."

What are these fine ladies telling us men?  That they don't like wussies!

Israfil,

Not only my experience, but the experience of hundreds of men.

Peace,
Arabian

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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 26 June 2005 at 10:05am

This is To all the men here please read! Brother Arabian God's Blessings be upon you but please read the following:

Back in the days prior to my conversion I used to be with a lot of women. I used to go to clubs I used to get drunk and usually go home with a young woman where I would have sexual intercourse with her. I used to think this was cool and that she liked it. In fact, many women did. But occasionally you will get women who engage in this type of relationship then eventually you will have one that gets attached to you. I didn't like it so I would leave her. There were women who said that I had gotten them preganant there were some that tried to say that they had AIDSto scare me in getting back with them. there were even ones who said that they would marry me.

Arabian you mentioned bad boys? I was a bad boy at one time. I used to hurt guys really bad and even pulled a gun on one guy for even looking at me. I was in no gang I was in no big rebellious group I was a so-called loner. I hung out with friends and we partied but I was always gotten into fights. I hurt many many many many guys in the process and praise God I never went to jail for it, however I regret it tremendously. In the process I hurt many women.

However at one point of my life I had to aski myself what am I doing? Eventually I had to take that long walk and remember the teachings of my mother. Eventually I became more of the "nice guy" instead of the "bad boy" of course as you noted Arabian being nice is not to ones advantage. LOL but so as being Muslim. In today's society being Muslim is not to an advantage, yet I call myself Muslim because I won't change to fit society. I became Muslim to find God. The same as with being a nice and caring man. There is nothing wrong with being confident but confidence and kindness are separate attributes of a man.

Women who like so-called "bad boy" are not only inexperienced but they are fools because a so-called bad boy is not always committed to relationships and if they are its called booty calls. There is nothing fulfilling in sexual relationships unless its your wife. If you call youself a Muslim but engage in these activities then I suggest you take the time out for yourself and renew your faith to Allah. If women in the world are changing to love so-called bad boys then yes I will be alone for a long time. I cannot change who I am because if I do I am weak, I am weak not because of trying to convert in what society likes but weak because I want to change a positive attribute.

If women dislike you because you are "nice" or "kind" then they are not the women for you. I thought about going back to my old ways but eventually as the women I';ve met made me realize its not "the business." Women like nice and sweet guys. It doesn't mean your a wimp. The people who you quote these books dont know !@#% I was a bad boy, I know I used to have many experience and I've found they are not fulfilling. I know guys now who are still bad boys and guess what? They are still unmarried and still in the hunt to find the right one. A true woman loves a man for who he is. Trust me I'm loving, caring, compassionate, and nice but doesn't mean I'm a wimp. It doesn't mean I'll let another man come up to me and spit in my face or physically harm me. OH no! that wouldn't happen. But we men must reflect the nature Allah has shown in the Qur'an.

The problem with society today is the image, especially in America the image from the past from movies to music videos people are so in tuned with what they see that is the image they want for a man. A rebellious man gets nowhere. Was the prophet rebellious? Yes becuse he rebelled against the Quraysh to bring Islam. Was Muhammad a bad boy? No. Because he said in a hadith that the best Muslim is one that is GOOD to his wife. The prophet neverused "bad boy" nor did he say you must act slightly rebellious to  get the attention of a woman. Again Too bad Muslims in various sects have chopped that passage in the hadith to oblivion.

Arabian my lasting statement to you is to think about what I said because in the end you will realize what I mean. I can gurantee you most women especially as they get older in their life and have been through relationships most would prefer to be with a sweet loving man rather than a cheap dead beat rebel! LOL

 

P.S BTW those hundreds of men you noted  I am one of them as I have shown here my experience as being a Bad Boy. Like I said before people who make books on being bad dont know crap!

 



Edited by Israfil
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Arabian
 
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Quote Arabian Replybullet Posted: 26 June 2005 at 10:37am

Israfil,

Thank you for that long, heart filled post about your past experiences.  I understand where you are, and what you represent and I admire your consistency to Allah.  I on the other hand am a bit behind you in the spiritual ladder.  Insha'allah, one day Allah will guide me out of this phase.  In all honesty, I can't help it.  I need to be with women, it is like an addiction.  I remember once, way back in high school; I had a friend that was the first of us to have sex.  This friend told us that once you get it, you will always crave more.  Sure enough, we all went out and got some sort of sex, and sure enough, it has become an addiction.

Don't get me wrong, I have tried to stop many times, but there is always a new girl, a new club.  There is always a new trip; hey some French girls, ohh my god, some Lebanese girls, oooowww some Italian chicks!  I just can’t help it.

The main issue is that there are women everywhere.  A walk in the mall can turn into a night full of passion; hell even a simple stop at the grocery store.  Women are everywhere, and I crave those sweet luscious mates where ever I can find them.

Peace,
Arabian



Edited by Arabian
“...the heavens and the earth were joined together (as one unit of creation), before We clove them asunder, and We made from water every living thing. Will they not then believe?”
(The Quran, 21:30)
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AhmadJoyia
 
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Quote AhmadJoyia Replybullet Posted: 26 June 2005 at 2:16pm

My Dear Bro Arabian,

You posts elsewhere on the forum refered to this thread has brought me here. So, it is in this regard, after reading your views about your experiences with women, I realized that probably womenization is also a disease in which people get addicted. Hmmm!

However, I don't think sex is the only business between a man and a women togather in their life. There is much beyond that. Once you get you pistol empty, the meaning of true love starts from then onward and not before. Once one has to deal with extreme dislikes of his partner, and yet live a happy life, its then, when the meaning of true love start to make sense. All you have experienced in your whole narrations is just a small fraction of real life. Real life is much more than this and yet much different than an experience of just one nights that too with those who also want to share just a night with you. Imagine what will happen when the children also come into this life style? Probably, its then when the meaning of real life may start making sense. Isn't it? 

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Arabian
 
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Quote Arabian Replybullet Posted: 26 June 2005 at 4:15pm

Brother Ahmad,

There are a great many things that I will keep away from my children, but intercourse is not among those.  I will tell them the ruling of such behavior, and what the punishment is and Allah will guide from there.

I agree that their is more than sex, but at this point in my life, I am not looking for anything more than sex.  I do not want to get married so early to start learning about love; I want to meet with, and have sex with as many women as possible.  I agree that at times I am curious and extend the relationship to learn as much as possible, but I rarely do this.  I would prefer to know the woman (from a previous encounter), call her when I need her (to go clubbing and such), and leave it at that.

Peace,
Arabian



Edited by Arabian
“...the heavens and the earth were joined together (as one unit of creation), before We clove them asunder, and We made from water every living thing. Will they not then believe?”
(The Quran, 21:30)
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kim!
 
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Quote kim! Replybullet Posted: 26 June 2005 at 6:48pm
Arabian, you are what we over here might call a Himbo. (a male "bimbo")

Shallowness rules your world - you have to try and pick every cute chick up. And where will you be in the end? Later in life when it's time to settle down, will you be able? Will you actually possess the ability and skills to have a single, permananent partner? Will you know how to be a friend for longer than a few hours? Will you be able to participate in mature conversation with the same person for more than a week? Will you be able to care about someone for more than a few weeks at a time without running off with someone else? Will you know how to spend quiet time with someone?

It's ok - I'm not judging you from the point of view of a virgin with no experience - I've been there - sex is fun. Sex with different people at different stages is fun. Passion is exciting and awesome. Being treated as an incredibly sexy person is fun, too. The self-confidence is amazing.

But where then? When the people are dumping each other left right and centre have dumped you and you have dumped them and your only talent appears to be able to "put out"...what then? Passion is fun, but passion doesn't need only you and can go elsewhere just as easily. What then?

My boy and I have been together 10 years. Ok, we ain't as passionate as we used to be in the early days, but who cares? We are better friends and do heaps of things together. Often we have other interests and hobbies but that's good because we mingle with other people and then have other topics of conversation between ourselves.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating you should find The One, True Partner and never spend time with anyone else. I loathe those sorts of "we're married, so now we can never, EVER be apart, not even for a moment" relationships because I think those sorts of relationships are not so much partnerships as taking each other prisoner...  Extremely unhealthy and weird and can only cause mental instability.

Kim...
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