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General Islamic Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Religion - Islam : General Islamic Matter
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peacelovedarfur
 
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Quote peacelovedarfur Replybullet Topic: Love and Religion conflicts=help!
    Posted: 01 July 2008 at 11:52pm
I am a Muslim girl, still young in that my heart wishes to rule over y head but old enough to be responsible for my actions and try at least to see beyond what seems to make perfect sense in what others call my "fantasy land". I am religious in that I truely do believe in Islam and will debate anything about religion because it always turns out into furthur confirmation of my belief but I am also an idealist believing that love should be manifested in everything through its four meanings including love of God, and that if love enacts your every action it will amount to the same as the actions of a true believer. Anyways I was debating religion with a boy, on the internet, whom after about a year now we've decided the connection between us was that of true love and I believe so with all my heart. He has the best of hearts, pious, loving, filled with goodness and carries all the qualities I had ever admired in a man but he is Baptist Christian. I was conforted by the knowledge that we are both very,very open to different beliefs and peoples and beside his rejection of Muhammed and his message he loves and glorifies God as much as I do, seeing his wonder in everything and always praising and thanking and trusting and hoping and praying to God. But he is Christian. And we have talked about marriage, we want to get married and be people of the world spreading love and faith and goodness in a nomadic way, raising children with a strong love for God and real values and adopting those without love. We are so alike to, we complete each other really and I promised myself I would never say "I Love You" to anyone but my to be husband, my partner for life. I just recently went to the Youth Camp with my mosque and when I brought us up they tore me apart kindly. They said I was making acceptions for the word of God, that our marriage will not be concidered valid and our relationship is haraam and that unless he converts there is no other way anything can be allowed to happen between us. I dont know what to say to him, I dont know what to do, I love him dearly but I love Allah more! Please help, what is your opinion on the matter?
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Hamzah
 
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Quote Hamzah Replybullet Posted: 03 July 2008 at 7:49pm
Bismillah
Assalam Alaikum wa Rahamtullah wa Barakatuh
Sister, in the holly Quran Allah states clearly that a Muslim woman is not to be returned to her non Muslim husbands and when this Ayah came down, one of the prophet's daughters (Zainab I think) had to leave her husband, he later reverted to Islam and they were joined again, if 2 people who are joined together by marriage can be seperated based on this then there is no doubt that it is haram for a Muslim woman to marry a non Muslum an, if you commit this act then your relationship with this man is not valid in the eyes of Allah who i'm sure you love more, it is like committing Adultery, if you love Allah you will not compromise when it comes to your faith, conversations with this guy and all your relationship with him this far is wrong and a big sin, don't let Shaytan drag you further.
Further more he may Revert just to marry you, make sure this is not the case, i know sister this is hard for you, my best advise is to pray to Allah to give you power to overcome this and to bring you happiness for if you leave something for the sake of Allah then he will reward you.



I hope this link gives you more insight.

http://ebrahimsaifuddin.wordpress.com/2006/11/07/interfaith-marriages-why-can’t-a-muslim-woman-marry-a-non-muslim-man/

May Allah bless you sister, ameen.

Edited by Hamzah - 03 July 2008 at 7:54pm
"Whosoever fears Allah, he will appoint for him a way out, and provide for him from where he does not expect"
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 03 July 2008 at 9:28pm
How often this scenario has come up on these boards over the years.  Really only the names change, but circumstance pretty much the same.  Young men and women involving themselves in relationships which are disliked and forbidden, thus producing conflict and pain for their hearts.  Talking with this boy for over a year and justifying it as debating or dawah until sexual tension builds to the point of discussing a relationship.  How often, over the past years of internet, have we heard of girls leaving home to meet total and complete strangers because of "love" or otherwise satisfying desires.  It is going to hurt, but this is the result of your unwise action and behavior, however you must end this relationship. 
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seekshidayath
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 04 July 2008 at 12:06am
As'Salamu Alaikum ,
 
Welcome to the boards of Discussions at IslamiCity. All praises be to Allah swt, who made you seek our opinion. May Allah swt also bless you with hidayah so that you return to His path.
 
Originally posted by peacelovedarfur

 
I am religious in that I truely do believe in Islam
 
You believe in Islam, Alhamdullilah. DO you also try to practice it ?
 
and will debate anything about religion because it always turns out into furthur confirmation of my belief
 
Can you get it confirmed that it is allowed to speak to non-mahram in Islam ?
 
 Anyways I was debating religion with a boy, on the internet, whom after about a year now we've decided the connection between us was that of true love and I believe so with all my heart.
 
True Love" !!.
Islam knows no other true love except "Love of Allah" and the rest is "dunya" - the world. Other kind of love you are speaking shud be for the reasons of Islam
 
He has the best of hearts, pious, loving, filled with goodness and carries all the qualities I had ever admired in a man
 
A heart which carried no love for Prophet Muhammad {PBUH} is best of hearts for you, is pious for you -----
 
 
  I love him dearly but I love Allah more!
 
Its the grace of Allah swt that there are sparks  of Imaan.
 
 Please help, what is your opinion on the matter?
 
Sister, sorry for being so tough replying you in your very first post. Its hard to see such young and energitic muslims who are to contrinute there time and energy for the ummah, straying away. Its all the trap of satan you are  struck in.
 
Do you know sister, that when  the satan wants to make the elite of the people fall into sin, he comes to them through the door of obedience. We keep doing that good and then slowly are dragged towards evil and sins. He makes that sin appear good to us. So we do not realise it as a sin at all. Such is the case going on with you. You wished to discuss religion to him and then fallen into the pit.
 
You must have read this many times in the Qur'an, "Do not follow the footsteps of  satan ---"  Do you know what footsteps of satan is " ?  You can understand this better with your own story. If that person, would have proposed you very first day  you discussed, am sure you would have said,  "NO", to him, Is n't it ?  So satan let you enter thru good deed and intention of religion, and made evil out of it. The discussion must have started with religion, then slowly, must have  moved other topics as well thus drawing each other closer. This is said as "foot steps of satan".
I hope sister, you must have realised by now, about the satanic trap. Haste to repent . Life is so short. These days of youth are not to be wasted. We are to answer the question as how we spent our days of youth.  Allah swt loves those who repent. He regarded them as best people. Morover, here's agood reminder. Infact, i had beed discussing this verse and realised the beauty of it.
 
 "Except those who repent and believe, and do righteous deeds; for those, Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful"
 
Is n't Allah swt the Most Merciful and Forgiving. Apart from forgiving our sin, he turns them into good. Subhan Allah. You must have seen how a mother grabs her lost son. So will Allah swt . He loves us many times than  a mother. He grabs us when we repent. Everytime we realise we were wrong and feel guilt, Allah swt rewards us.
 
Right now onwards, repent Allah swt. Break all ties with him. You verywell know that its a wrong relation ship, Even if he were a muslim,  such love is forbidden. Moreover , he is a disbeliver, and relationship with him is n't permissible at all.. You may feel disturbed by his thoughts, but soon you need to remind yourselves that it is satan who is whispering you.
 
Try to be closer to Allah swt, by reciting and pondering Qur'an , by being with righteous people. Never ever try to stay in contact with him by any means.Try to strengthen your heart with faith and make it a healthy heart by love of Allah swt and His last messenger.which is the only true love.
Stay in touch with IC, by sharing your knowledge with us. Hope sister, you ponder over all this.
 
May Allah swt guide all of us. Ameen
 
 


Edited by seekshidayath - 04 July 2008 at 1:05am
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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Quote believer Replybullet Posted: 04 July 2008 at 6:16am
You need to tell the young man the truth- that because you are female your religion forbids the relationship.  Don't continue to string him along.
 
seekshidayath it is not that he is a disbeliever, but that he believes differently.
 
In a marriage holding the same beliefs are most important.
John 3
16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
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seekshidayath
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Quote seekshidayath Replybullet Posted: 08 July 2008 at 7:30pm
 
Beleiver, i don't know, what your christianity defines :"believer" as. But according to Islam, a believer of this ummah, shud ought to believe in Allah swt and His Messenger. One who reject Prophet Muhammad { PBUH }, as a messenger of Allah swt, indeed commits Kufr and is a disbeliever. Since our sister is a muslim, i hope she knows very well that such marriages are void.
 
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “All the descendants of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent."
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peacelovedarfur
 
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Quote peacelovedarfur Replybullet Posted: 08 July 2008 at 8:12pm

I know this is my test that Allah gave me, the one that truely got me at my weakness, my real struggle, for had he given me poverty or failure it would not have marred me. So it is my choice, based on my view of good and evil and what is most important to me, that he will judge me on. It was either him- his love and my dream of living or Islamic law and being part of the perfect society with a muslim man and what such a life brings. I listened to your words and made clear that I understand but none the less I choose him. I'm sure even if I listed the reasons or gave you my thoughts and heart to examine you would think the same and condem me. One thing I promise, inshallah it may ease your heads of worry has it done so, that I will never turn away from the light of Allah, for having once seen it and known the truth I can distinguish the dark and lies. The Quran and Muhammed (pbh) is my guide and Allah is the only Lord, inshallah he will see it too. You will see us helping humanity and spreading faith and love.

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Quote Sign*Reader Replybullet Posted: 08 July 2008 at 11:38pm
-----------------------------------@#$%^&*

Edited by Sign*Reader - 09 July 2008 at 10:46pm
Kismet Domino: Faith/Courage/Liberty/Abundance/Selfishness/Immorality/Apathy/Bondage or extinction.
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