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Family Matter
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter
Message Icon Topic: should men ask their wives to marry a second woman Post Reply Post New Topic
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Matt Browne
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Quote Matt Browne Replybullet Posted: 06 November 2010 at 8:18am
Secular laws rank above religious laws. In most societies monogamy is the rule. For good reason.
 
A religion that's intolerant of other religions can't be the world's best religion --Abdel Samad
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people--Eleanor Roosevelt
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Chrysalis
 
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 07 November 2010 at 1:59am
Originally posted by Matt Browne

Secular laws rank above religious laws.


Depends.

 
In most societies monogamy is the rule. For good reason.
 


On paper monogamy is the rule. But in reality, is it really practiced by all?
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Matt Browne
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Quote Matt Browne Replybullet Posted: 14 November 2010 at 9:22am
Yes, in reality, it isn't practiced by all. I think it's a matter between husband and wife and how they want to deal about it when one or the other finds out. Most European countries have decriminalized adultery.



Edited by Matt Browne - 14 November 2010 at 9:23am
A religion that's intolerant of other religions can't be the world's best religion --Abdel Samad
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people--Eleanor Roosevelt
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Chrysalis
 
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 14 November 2010 at 6:33pm

Originally posted by Matt Browne

Secular laws rank above religious laws. In most societies monogamy is the rule. For good reason.
 


"Anthropologists say 83 percent of societies they have studied traditionally permitted polygyny — marriage with multiple wives. (The more common term “polygamy” has the broader definition of having multiple spouses.) Just 17 percent insisted on monogamous marriage.
"

"Conservative infidelity statistics estimate that “60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair. These figures are even more significant when we consider the total number of marriages involved, since it's unlikely that all the men and women having affairs happen to be married to each other. If even half of the women having affairs (or 20 percent) are married to men not included in the 60 percent having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 80 percent of all marriages. With this many marriages affected, it's unreasonable to think affairs are due only to the failures and shortcomings of individual husbands or wives." - Menstuff.org Infidelity statistics.

I am in no way saying everybody should be Polyandrous, and that multiple marriage is the way to go. It is a personal choice that is dependent on social circumstances - it is very subjective. However it is irksome when some people will ignore the trends in their own society and form opinions on issues they don't know about or don't understand. Just because there is a 'don't ask don't tell' policy on polygamy in the west does not mean it doesn't exist. Is Polygamy within marriage is worse than polygamy outside of marriage?




Edited by Chrysalis - 14 November 2010 at 6:34pm
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 14 November 2010 at 6:40pm
Originally posted by Matt Browne

Yes, in reality, it isn't practiced by all. I think it's a matter between husband and wife and how they want to deal about it when one or the other finds out. Most European countries have decriminalized adultery.



Why do you think they have decriminalized adultery? When 80% of the society is non-monogamous & sleeping around, how do you deal with that problem? Where do you start? Its easier to 'ignore' the issue and say do what you want. Its not easy to punish 80% of the society and hold it responsible for its action... so you just let things be and pretend it is the healthy norm.
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Quote John S Replybullet Posted: 04 March 2011 at 6:13pm
It is my position that the man should introduce the prospective second wife to the first wife, and if they get along and she gives him her approval then all is well. If he marries a second wife and the first is totally against it and/or can't stand the second wife (or vice versa), disruption in the household is assured and should be avoided.

If the man disregards his first wife's negative opinion and marries again anyway and the house and family life is severely disrupted, isn't he committing a sin by placing his desire for the second wife between him and his first wife?

I have absolutely no personal experience with multiple marriages, but I have seen the results of "open marriages" of friends and from what I have observed every one of them ended in disaster in one way or another.


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Moly
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Quote Moly Replybullet Posted: 07 April 2011 at 5:47am
Al Salam Alikum
 
According to Islam , husband should tell his wife that he wants to marry another wife , so if she agrees to he can marry another wife , otherwise if he insist she can ask for devorce. This is dependant on her consent and her tolerant for such situation
 
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haniyyya
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Quote haniyyya Replybullet Posted: 08 April 2011 at 2:52am
aslm... yes they can have a second a third and a fourth no problem life is so exciting for muslim men and we women can only have one even if he is not what we wanted we have to be patient and sacrifice so we suffer in this life but in the hearafter we will enjoy inshlh and the men enjoy here with four women and in the hearafter they will enjoy with 99 women thats just the way it is....
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