IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum: should men ask their wives to marry a second woman

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abuayisha

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Posted: 19 August 2010 at 10:41am

"I think the writer has tried to convey the Islamic spirit that should prevail prior to practicing polygamy. If that spirit is absent, it is very likey that this practice would be abused."

Yeah I understand, but I think often these writers also seek to somehow justify plural marriage in contemporary times. Prior to Islam these marriages were common and Islam only limited the number and sought to ensure justice between the wives. No conditions such as those commonly stated by writers today were mentioned by Allah or His Prophet. We many times see written that only if the wife could not have children, or widows in times of war, sickness, etc. As time passes Muslims begin to adopt these writings as if they have textual basis and there are none- at least to my knowledge.

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abuayisha

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Posted: 19 August 2010 at 10:50am

Sister your point about obsessing is well taken, however it seems our sister who posted has noticed a possible pattern in her husband's behavior, and it was this I addressed. I think it would be nice if men find that a young and attractive woman is interested in Islam, that she is referred to a sister to answer her queries.

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peacemaker
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Posted: 19 August 2010 at 12:06pm

Originally posted by abuayisha

"I think the writer has tried to convey the Islamic spirit that should prevail prior to practicing polygamy. If that spirit is absent, it is very likey that this practice would be abused."

Assalamu Alaikum,

Brother, I don’t necessarily agree with the writer on every point. To deal with the matter appropriately, I also suggested the sister should consult a scholar.

With that said, I appreciate the fact that these personalities are far more knowledgeable than I am and who have done much better job to disseminate information about Islam.

However, if there is something that the writer has written in the context that contradicts the Islamic jurisprudence or fiqh, please mention it.

With all due respect, this will be my last post in this thread due to limited time at hand.

Jazak Allah Khair.

Peace

Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
Qur'an 55:13

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abuayisha

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Posted: 19 August 2010 at 12:13pm

Allah bless you Peace, and please know that the onus is upon claimant, which is why I asked for evidence - I'm here to learn as well.

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peacemaker
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Posted: 20 August 2010 at 6:38pm

Originally posted by abuayisha

Allah bless you Peace, and please know that the onus is upon claimant, which is why I asked for evidence - I'm here to learn as well.

Assalamu Alaikum,

May Allah bless you too, brother.

May Allah enhance our learning and understanding of our beautiful faith. It seems to me that the best way to augment one’s learning is to go to the source, in this context the author. It is quite possible that I may inadvertently misconstrue his standpoint and that would be a disservice to the cause.

For those who may not be aware of him, the following link contains the biography of the writer:

http://www.alimprogram.com/scholars/badawi.shtml

Jazak Allah Khair.

May Allah guide us all.

Peace

Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny?
Qur'an 55:13

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abuayisha

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Posted: 20 August 2010 at 9:23pm

http://www.islamfortoday.com/polygamy5.htm

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fais

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Posted: 14 October 2010 at 1:10am

Salam Nausheen,

It is not mandatory for a man to take permission from his first wife but it is mandatory for a man to inform his first wife about the second marraige,

Regards

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NuraB
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Joined: 27 September 2010
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Posted: 15 October 2010 at 9:05am

Salamo Aleikom Sis Nausheen

Would've, could've should've aside- I think brother the response of Brother Fais is the most conscise of this thread.

Would I want my husband to let me know if he was thinking about marrying another? Of course.

Could I handle being a co-wife. Insha'allah if the time comes, I will be strong.

Should our relationship be strong enough that he tells me everything, even an interest in a second? I feel it is.

These questions are not about me, dear sister. How would you answer the above?

N.B.

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Family Matter
IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Family Matter

Topic: should men ask their wives to marry a second woman
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Author	Message
abuayisha Senior Member Joined: 05 October 1999 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3993	Posted: 19 August 2010 at 10:41am
	"I think the writer has tried to convey the Islamic spirit that should prevail prior to practicing polygamy. If that spirit is absent, it is very likey that this practice would be abused." Yeah I understand, but I think often these writers also seek to somehow justify plural marriage in contemporary times. Prior to Islam these marriages were common and Islam only limited the number and sought to ensure justice between the wives. No conditions such as those commonly stated by writers today were mentioned by Allah or His Prophet. We many times see written that only if the wife could not have children, or widows in times of war, sickness, etc. As time passes Muslims begin to adopt these writings as if they have textual basis and there are none- at least to my knowledge.
	IP Logged

abuayisha Senior Member Joined: 05 October 1999 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3993	Posted: 19 August 2010 at 10:50am
	Sister your point about obsessing is well taken, however it seems our sister who posted has noticed a possible pattern in her husband's behavior, and it was this I addressed. I think it would be nice if men find that a young and attractive woman is interested in Islam, that she is referred to a sister to answer her queries.
	IP Logged

peacemaker Male Islam Moderator Group Joined: 29 December 2005 Location: Canada Online Status: Offline Posts: 3056	Posted: 19 August 2010 at 12:06pm
	*Originally posted by abuayisha* "I think the writer has tried to convey the Islamic spirit that should prevail prior to practicing polygamy. If that spirit is absent, it is very likey that this practice would be abused." Yeah I understand, but I think often these writers also seek to somehow justify plural marriage in contemporary times. Prior to Islam these marriages were common and Islam only limited the number and sought to ensure justice between the wives. No conditions such as those commonly stated by writers today were mentioned by Allah or His Prophet. We many times see written that only if the wife could not have children, or widows in times of war, sickness, etc. As time passes Muslims begin to adopt these writings as if they have textual basis and there are none- at least to my knowledge. Assalamu Alaikum, Brother, I don’t necessarily agree with the writer on every point. To deal with the matter appropriately, I also suggested the sister should consult a scholar. With that said, I appreciate the fact that these personalities are far more knowledgeable than I am and who have done much better job to disseminate information about Islam. However, if there is something that the writer has written in the context that contradicts the Islamic jurisprudence or fiqh, please mention it. With all due respect, this will be my last post in this thread due to limited time at hand. Jazak Allah Khair. Peace
	Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny? Qur'an 55:13
	IP Logged

abuayisha Senior Member Joined: 05 October 1999 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3993	Posted: 19 August 2010 at 12:13pm
	Allah bless you Peace, and please know that the onus is upon claimant, which is why I asked for evidence - I'm here to learn as well.
	IP Logged

peacemaker Male Islam Moderator Group Joined: 29 December 2005 Location: Canada Online Status: Offline Posts: 3056	Posted: 20 August 2010 at 6:38pm
	*Originally posted by abuayisha* Allah bless you Peace, and please know that the onus is upon claimant, which is why I asked for evidence - I'm here to learn as well. Assalamu Alaikum, May Allah bless you too, brother. May Allah enhance our learning and understanding of our beautiful faith. It seems to me that the best way to augment one’s learning is to go to the source, in this context the author. It is quite possible that I may inadvertently misconstrue his standpoint and that would be a disservice to the cause. For those who may not be aware of him, the following link contains the biography of the writer: http://www.alimprogram.com/scholars/badawi.shtml Jazak Allah Khair. May Allah guide us all. Peace
	Then which of the favours of your Lord will ye deny? Qur'an 55:13
	IP Logged

abuayisha Senior Member Joined: 05 October 1999 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3993	Posted: 20 August 2010 at 9:23pm
	http://www.islamfortoday.com/polygamy5.htm
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fais Senior Member Joined: 24 August 2009 Location: Oman Online Status: Offline Posts: 281	Posted: 14 October 2010 at 1:10am
	Salam Nausheen, It is not mandatory for a man to take permission from his first wife but it is mandatory for a man to inform his first wife about the second marraige, Regards
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NuraB Female Islam Groupie Joined: 27 September 2010 Online Status: Offline Posts: 87	Posted: 15 October 2010 at 9:05am
	Salamo Aleikom Sis Nausheen Would've, could've should've aside- I think brother the response of Brother Fais is the most conscise of this thread. Would I want my husband to let me know if he was thinking about marrying another? Of course. Could I handle being a co-wife. Insha'allah if the time comes, I will be strong. Should our relationship be strong enough that he tells me everything, even an interest in a second? I feel it is. These questions are not about me, dear sister. How would you answer the above? N.B.
	IP Logged