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Chrysalis
 
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2008 at 3:06am
Thankyou for your sincere advise Ronn. It must be helpful to Nabil to hear all that straight from a person who has actually been through it all.
 

 I agree with much of what Chrysalis has said, except for the well-meaning suggestions to modify your behaviour to suit others. 

Heh heh. I know what you mean. . .and since I am myself a firm believer in 'being yourself" I felt kind of hypcritical . . .and had to think abt it b4 saying that. . .Cz I was keeping in mind the society Nabil lives in, so had his interests at heart. Smile
 
The second best piece of advice, which nobody ever gave me but I wish they had, is: you have plenty of time.  You may feel like you're being left out, that everyone else is making friends  and your life is going nowhere.  But that's okay.  Kids grow up way too fast these days anyway.  Concentrate on getting a good education, developing your talents in the arts or whatever truly interests you, and go on from there to find a job that you like and you are good at. Trust me, the world is much bigger than your school and your immediate neighborhood.  Once you get out there, you will meet lots of people who will find you fascinating, precisely because of the things that make you different.
 Good advise.
 

   girls have had their fill of loud, macho, insensitive guys, and are eager to meet a man who understands them and shares their own interests.
Coming from a girl (me), I'd say thats true.

 

"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Ron Webb
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Quote Ron Webb Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2008 at 5:48am
Originally posted by Chrysalis

Cz I was keeping in mind the society Nabil lives in, so had his interests at heart. Smile
Good point.  I am writing from Canada, where kids have at least a bit of latitude to be "different".  Not that they don't get a rough ride here too, but I suspect it's a lot tougher in Pakistan.  So be true to yourself as much as you can, but if you're getting beat up every second week, then you gotta do something about it.
 
Oh, and I should also echo Israfil's comment: definitely lose the term "girly boy".  I don't know why people need labels at all; but if you do, I would call you a gentleman, which is an old-fashioned term that used to mean "gentle man".
Addeenul ‘Aql – Religion is intellect.
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Nabil
 
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Quote Nabil Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2008 at 10:22pm
Originally posted by Ron Webb

Originally posted by Chrysalis

Cz I was keeping in mind the society Nabil lives in, so had his interests at heart. Smile
Good point.  I am writing from Canada, where kids have at least a bit of latitude to be "different".  Not that they don't get a rough ride here too, but I suspect it's a lot tougher in Pakistan.  So be true to yourself as much as you can, but if you're getting beat up every second week, then you gotta do something about it.
 
Oh, and I should also echo Israfil's comment: definitely lose the term "girly boy".  I don't know why people need labels at all; but if you do, I would call you a gentleman, which is an old-fashioned term that used to mean "gentle man".
 
Haha thanks, I got the same title on my farewell and I was a really happy on that day.
 
 
But Im not getting any straight-forward answers. Everybodys like avoiding it and just telling me to ' change '.
 
Is it ok if u change your gender in Islam?
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lovesakeenah
 
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Quote lovesakeenah Replybullet Posted: 18 June 2008 at 1:51am
As-salaam alaykum warahamatullah wabarakatuh
 
Originally posted by Nabil
 
"Is it ok if u change your gender in Islam?"
I do not think so brother Nabil.Pls read and learn more from the link below...
 
 
 
"I have conviction that Allah has power over everything.Verily!Allah's knowledge includes and encompasses everything".
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lovesakeenah
 
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Quote lovesakeenah Replybullet Posted: 18 June 2008 at 4:17am
"I have conviction that Allah has power over everything.Verily!Allah's knowledge includes and encompasses everything".
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Nabil
 
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Quote Nabil Replybullet Posted: 18 June 2008 at 7:12am
So it is not allowed. Im so confused. Should I commit suicide?I hope it is allowed in Islam since my life has no purpose and it is already said that its sin to be like a girl for a boy.
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Ron Webb
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Quote Ron Webb Replybullet Posted: 18 June 2008 at 5:27pm

Nabil,

You said you're not getting any straightforward answers.  Maybe the problem is that you're not asking straightforward questions.  If you're even hinting at suicide, then you don't care about the teachings of Islam, so why would you care what it says about sex change operations?

Let's go back to the beginning:

Originally posted by Nabil

Im a 17 year old boy and I live in Lahore. My problem is that Im a bit like girl.No,not the ones who dress like girls or talk exactly like them or wear make up etc. Im a boy but my actions are like girl.Im sensitive and soft-spoken.

You said it yourself, Nabil: You're a boy.  A sensitive and soft-spoken boy.  You're not a transsexual or a transvestite or a homosexual.  I don't know whether you're trying to shock us with talk about sex change operations or suicide, but I don't believe it and I don't believe you believe it.

Your purpose in life can be anything you want it to be.  You love drama (and you are making that evident here!), so why not make it your purpose to become a great actor?  You like art, so maybe you will become a great artist.  If you think people like you are treated badly, then make it your purpose to change that.  If Islam seems like the truth to you, then that can be your purpose.

But it starts with honesty, with yourself as much as anything else.  What do you really want?

Addeenul ‘Aql – Religion is intellect.
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Nabil
 
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Quote Nabil Replybullet Posted: 19 June 2008 at 4:55am
Hmmm

Heres the full story.
 
It was never like this. I never looked at myself like this but whenever I used to go out and then people confused me of being a boy or girl and so people asked me about my gender so that made me embarrased and sad until 1 day my confidence level hit zero. But then I moved to a new school and people made fun of me there.I changed my class and people there were  a  lot nicer to me. And suddenly I got this faith " Just dont mind what other people say " I was 12 then and the upcoming 3 years were the best years of my life cuz I simply wiped off wat others said to me and I was much happier and took everything positively until 1 day,my faith,got lost,just like that,and it has not returned ever since.I started thinking  a lot,worrying for no reason,every little thing started to bother me and stuff but then 1.5 years later I managed to control this whole depression thing but the thing I want the most is,MY FATIH. I WANT MY OLD FAITH BACK!!!
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