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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 08 June 2008 at 7:49pm
Chrysalis
 
Provided some insightful advice. Nabil, your feelings towards this matter is influenced by the society you live around. Islamically speaking there is nothing wrong with you. Your spiritual sense is not corrupted because you have characteristics that are "outside the norm" in your age. Perhaps in this way those qualities that you find girly are perhaps your strongest qualities things which young men your age lack until they develope later. As far as the way you speak as Chrysalis has correctly stated your development is not done yet and should allow yourself to develop further. The best advice anyone here can give you is to be yourself. If you have friends that reject you because of the way you sound then they are not truly your friends. Boys with no sense of understanding of individuality will act in that manner do not think you're out of the ordinary. But goodluck to you I extend the same offer as Chrysalis. If you need to talk to mr you can PM me
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Nabil
 
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Quote Nabil Replybullet Posted: 11 June 2008 at 10:35am
Originally posted by Israfil

Chrysalis
 
Provided some insightful advice. Nabil, your feelings towards this matter is influenced by the society you live around. Islamically speaking there is nothing wrong with you. Your spiritual sense is not corrupted because you have characteristics that are "outside the norm" in your age. Perhaps in this way those qualities that you find girly are perhaps your strongest qualities things which young men your age lack until they develope later. As far as the way you speak as Chrysalis has correctly stated your development is not done yet and should allow yourself to develop further. The best advice anyone here can give you is to be yourself. If you have friends that reject you because of the way you sound then they are not truly your friends. Boys with no sense of understanding of individuality will act in that manner do not think you're out of the ordinary. But goodluck to you I extend the same offer as Chrysalis. If you need to talk to mr you can PM me
 
Thanks.
 
Yes,I do talk like a girl its just my voice,some people think its really cute....and no one makes one of me,they react in a way that makes me feel like they make fun of me.
 
whenever i pick up the phone,the other person thinks he/shes talkin to a girl.Haha thats funny(most of time)
 
thank u so much for telling me to BE MYSELF.I like it and now wont bother wat others think of me,have positive thoughts.
 
im  a girly boy-yay!
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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 11 June 2008 at 9:52pm
Nabil there is a better word than "girly-boy" its called androgynous look it up.....Thumbs%20Up
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Nabil
 
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Quote Nabil Replybullet Posted: 12 June 2008 at 10:17pm

ok thanks........................

im happy to know there are people like me and thats GOD made us like this.

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Chrysalis
 
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 13 June 2008 at 9:41pm
Originally posted by Nabil

ok thanks........................

im happy to know there are people like me and thats GOD made us like this.

 
As'salamualikum Nabil.
 
I am glad to know we could be of help.
And ofcourse Allah does not care about the extent of Masculinity and Feminity of a muslim, nieter does it effect our faith
. . . but for the sake of practicality, I would still suggest that you try and make an effort to change the feminine physcial traits (walking,hand movements etc) . Don't get me wrong AT ALL. I'm not suggesting it is wrong or anything, I just feel that you will better be able to adjust in society and not be ignored or looked down upon by the biased-elements. And all of us want to be accepted. And though it really isnt important at your age, but once you grow older and enter manhood, your habits may set in stone and you may have trouble adjusting in future, (Don't let that scare you or stress you tho! :P) I simply suggested that keeping your best interests at heart Smile And I only mentioned that incase you stopped trying after reading our posts. And dont call yourself a girly-boy Smile You are a boy.
 
And I hope that insha'allah that despite changing, you never lose your sensitiveness, gentleness & kindness . . .remember, we need more sensitive men around Wink and keep your faith in Allah.
 
Best Regards,
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Nabil
 
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Quote Nabil Replybullet Posted: 13 June 2008 at 10:43pm
Originally posted by Chrysalis

Originally posted by Nabil

ok thanks........................

im happy to know there are people like me and thats GOD made us like this.

 
As'salamualikum Nabil.
 
I am glad to know we could be of help.
And ofcourse Allah does not care about the extent of Masculinity and Feminity of a muslim, nieter does it effect our faith
. . . but for the sake of practicality, I would still suggest that you try and make an effort to change the feminine physcial traits (walking,hand movements etc) . Don't get me wrong AT ALL. I'm not suggesting it is wrong or anything, I just feel that you will better be able to adjust in society and not be ignored or looked down upon by the biased-elements. And all of us want to be accepted. And though it really isnt important at your age, but once you grow older and enter manhood, your habits may set in stone and you may have trouble adjusting in future, (Don't let that scare you or stress you tho! :P) I simply suggested that keeping your best interests at heart Smile And I only mentioned that incase you stopped trying after reading our posts. And dont call yourself a girly-boy Smile You are a boy.
 
And I hope that insha'allah that despite changing, you never lose your sensitiveness, gentleness & kindness . . .remember, we need more sensitive men around Wink and keep your faith in Allah.
 
Best Regards,
 
but i  see grown up people and theyre completley comfortable with who they are,being girlish. theyre body language,walking style and hand movement is all like a girl. They didnt change so why should I?Also through TV shows theyre tring to tell people like us to be ourselves.\
 
And by the way if Im changing my style, I dont feel comfortable at all cuz Im pretending. And I can never change my voice. Its mine, Its unique. sure its thin and cute and people can see politness in my voice. But if I deepened it, it doesnt feels the same and Im not at all comfortable with that. Maybe if u were in my place then ud know how it feels.
 
And are u trying to say that its a sin just being girlish?? WHY IS IT ALL SO CONFUSING TO ME!!Cry


Edited by Nabil - 13 June 2008 at 10:46pm
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Chrysalis
 
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Quote Chrysalis Replybullet Posted: 16 June 2008 at 7:54am
Originally posted by Nabil

Originally posted by Chrysalis

Originally posted by Nabil

 
As'salamualikum Nabil.
 
I am glad to know we could be of help.
And ofcourse Allah does not care about the extent of Masculinity and Feminity of a muslim, nieter does it effect our faith
. . . but for the sake of practicality, I would still suggest that you try and make an effort to change the feminine physcial traits (walking,hand movements etc) . Don't get me wrong AT ALL. I'm not suggesting it is wrong or anything, I just feel that you will better be able to adjust in society and not be ignored or looked down upon by the biased-elements. And all of us want to be accepted. And though it really isnt important at your age, but once you grow older and enter manhood, your habits may set in stone and you may have trouble adjusting in future, (Don't let that scare you or stress you tho! :P) I simply suggested that keeping your best interests at heart Smile And I only mentioned that incase you stopped trying after reading our posts. And dont call yourself a girly-boy Smile You are a boy.
 
And I hope that insha'allah that despite changing, you never lose your sensitiveness, gentleness & kindness . . .remember, we need more sensitive men around Wink and keep your faith in Allah.
 
Best Regards,
 
but i  see grown up people and theyre completley comfortable with who they are,being girlish. theyre body language,walking style and hand movement is all like a girl. They didnt change so why should I?Also through TV shows theyre tring to tell people like us to be ourselves.\
 
And by the way if Im changing my style, I dont feel comfortable at all cuz Im pretending. And I can never change my voice. Its mine, Its unique. sure its thin and cute and people can see politness in my voice. But if I deepened it, it doesnt feels the same and Im not at all comfortable with that. Maybe if u were in my place then ud know how it feels.
 
And are u trying to say that its a sin just being girlish?? WHY IS IT ALL SO CONFUSING TO ME!!Cry
 
Dude, its not a sin to have such innate-traits Smile Nobody is saying that. Oh, and when I was referring to your future, I was referring to issues like Work, and Marriage. You may need to show your 'dominance' side in a work-place to have an impact on some male-colleagues . . . also, many females find too much feminism in men to be unappealing hence trouble finding a mate/wife... potential marital issues.
 
Like I said, those are just possible instances. They may not necessarily happen, but I felt obligated to show u the whole picture. I thought it would be in your interest to make slight changes, not saying that you need to be a different person/pretend.
 
However its all up to you. And Allah knows best.
 
(btw I was conflicting with myself to mention this or not. . . but due to your excessive usage of words such as 'ppl like us'. . . i was slightly concerned, I hope you donot and never mistake this trait of yours as 'Gay' . . . bcz thats not the case, and that Islam does not tolerate)
 
Best of Luck!
"O Lord, forgive me, my parents and Muslims in the Hereafter. O Lord, show mercy on them as they showed mercy to me when I was young."
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Ron Webb
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Quote Ron Webb Replybullet Posted: 16 June 2008 at 6:32pm

My two cents' worth -- and in the interest of full disclosure, I should state that I am not Muslim, so I certainly cannot comment on any religious aspects of this.  However, I am a mature man, and in my youth I was probably a lot like you: not especially interested in cars, sports, and similar stereotypically masculine activities, but very interested in music, literature, theatre, and such.

The best piece of advice, but the one that is hardest for most people to believe, is: be yourself.  Whatever you do, make sure that you remain authentically you.  I agree with much of what Chrysalis has said, except for the well-meaning suggestions to modify your behaviour to suit others.  You won't be very good at it and people will see right through it; and even if they don't, you won't enjoy living like an actor playing the part of somebody else.

The second best piece of advice, which nobody ever gave me but I wish they had, is: you have plenty of time.  You may feel like you're being left out, that everyone else is making friends (girlfriends in particular) and your life is going nowhere.  But that's okay.  Kids grow up way too fast these days anyway.  Concentrate on getting a good education, developing your talents in the arts or whatever truly interests you, and go on from there to find a job that you like and you are good at.

Trust me, the world is much bigger than your school and your immediate neighborhood.  Once you get out there, you will meet lots of people who will find you fascinating, precisely because of the things that make you different.  That will include lots and lots of women who as girls have had their fill of loud, macho, insensitive guys, and are eager to meet a man who understands them and shares their own interests.

(The following may not be entirely appropriate for a Muslim forum, but I can't resist.)  I'll never forget an interview I saw once with a male ballet dancer, who described all the sneers and scornful remarks from the jocks in his high school class because he attended ballet class while they were playing sports.  But he had the last laugh. "They were spending their time tossing around a ball," he said; and then gesturing to all the beautiful ballerinas standing around him, he added: "If they could only see what I'm tossing around now!" Wink

Addeenul ‘Aql – Religion is intellect.
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