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Interfaith Dialogue
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Jenni
 
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Quote Jenni Replybullet Topic: A former mormon needs some advice
    Posted: 14 June 2005 at 8:11am
Salaam all, I am a former mormon with a very strong mormon heritage and all in my extended family with the exception of my parents are very devout. My question is that my parents know I converted to Islam and are fine, they love and respect my Husband and his family alot. But my Grandmother is now living with my mom and I am going to visit them alone with the kids. She is very religous and frowns upon drinking coffee or tea and even saying God , hell or Damn. She is old and I can't imagine having a conversation about Islam with her. We just have never talked about it and I actually think in the back of her mind she is praying my husband will become a mormon. I know she wont understand and is still giving the missionaries our address and they come by our house. All my aunts, uncles and cousins are mormon. I just don't know what to do and find myself avioding my extended family rather than arguing with them. Any advice that will actually help me?
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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ummziba
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Quote ummziba Replybullet Posted: 14 June 2005 at 10:01am

Assalamu alaikum Jenni,

My family (all of them) hate that I am Muslim.  But Allah tells us in the Qur'an that it is a great sin to break the ties of kinship.  We must be kind, especially to our parents.  The only thing we cannot do is obey our parents/family if it means disobeying  the laws of Allah.

What works the best for me, after years of trial and error, is to just treat them all with kindness and respect.  Keep religion out of the conversation, unless you must relate to them the reason you can or cannot do something because of religion. 

In time, your exemplary behavior (and that of your husband) will win them over to at least acceptance of your choice.  They will see that being a Muslim is a good choice for you.  Don't worry about trying to change anyone's mind about Islam through words, your actions will speak far louder.

Try hard to keep the ties of kinship with your family, but, never compromise your Islamic principles.  Smile, be kind and just bite your tongue.  Allah will reward you for being kind to your family and your family will see that being a Muslim means being a good person.

They (your family) may eventually want to talk about what you believe and why you do certain things (or don't do them), but don't force the conversation in that direction if they are not ready for it yet.

As for grandmother - she is old and set in her ways, but, being religious, she may also understand (to a point) that you have chosen to be very religious too.  If she wants to talk to you about your choice, it might help to point out to her similarities between what she believes and what you believe.  Knowing that you love and serve God, as she understands God to be, might help a lot.

Don't force any issues with her and neither be afraid of what she might do or say, she cannot hurt you or your deen!  Let her know how much you still love her, especially by your actions.

You also must let yourself understand that your family may never like that you are Muslim and will always try to "change you back".  Don't let this deter you from the straight path.  Pray to Allah sincerely for guidance and patience.  Hope this helps.

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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Quote herjihad Replybullet Posted: 14 June 2005 at 5:07pm

Bismillah,

Jenni,

I grew up Mormon also.  For your grandmother, does she realize that there is secret knowledge that increases as a man increases levels in the preisthood?

Did you know that Mormons believe that their God lives on a planet and procreates with goddesses making spirit children to fill up new planets?  That when Mormons die they expect to have their own planets to be gods over?

If you have never heard this information, it is not surprising.  It is hidden information that would embarrass most decent Mormons who don't have a clue!

If your grandmother doesn't know this, she might not appreciate being told, but she might convert to a religion that makes much more sense: Islaam.

Be careful of your children.  You know Mormons are missionaries.  They might not have qualms over tricking your kids into becoming Mormons.  They tricked my daughter, and she is now Muslimah again, Al-Hamdulilah, but it was a very painful time. 

Don't you love how non-Muslims say we should let our children choose as we had the choice, but they really want to influence our children themselves?

Allah, SWT, be with you.



Edited by herjihad
Al-Hamdulillah (From a Married Muslimah) La Howla Wa La Quwata Illa BiLLah - There is no Effort or Power except with Allah's Will.
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Jenni
 
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Quote Jenni Replybullet Posted: 14 June 2005 at 8:10pm
You are right Herihihad. The mormons make me kind of nervous and now our neighbor right next door is one. The bishops have called me every time we move and are really nice but I know what thier intention is. I don't really know what to do to give them the message. Do I need to write someone a letter so they will leave me alone? Anyway, I know about all the weird stuff they belive in, that is why Islam seemed logical to me and I converted. Not because of my husband which is what they think. The thing is I can't be rude because the mormons did alot for me and my family growing up and they are nice people, I hope my grandmother doesn't confront me but if she does I will try my best to handle it. Thanks
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Jenni
 
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Quote Jenni Replybullet Posted: 14 June 2005 at 8:12pm
Thanks to ummziba too!!
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Quote AhmadJoyia Replybullet Posted: 15 June 2005 at 12:47pm

My dear Sisters Jenni, Herjihad and Ummziba,

Your stories of conversion are really inspiring for a person like me. I really admire of people like you who have found the real meaning of religion in their lives simply because they chose their own faith, whatever you thought it to be fit for you. Whenever, I read about the very first converts in the history of Islam, and the way they were maltreated by their own family members, just because of their faith, I feel tremendous amount of encouragement in myself. The same way, when I come across, the problems and issues like you have them because of your faith in Allah, I must be more thankfull to Allah that he has not put me in this test atleast; though its you, you all my sisters, who will be more rewarded in the life hereafter, than people like me. Keep up your spirits, may Allah have mercy on you all. Amin.

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ummziba
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Quote ummziba Replybullet Posted: 15 June 2005 at 1:26pm

Assalamu alaikum Brother Ahmad,

Thank you for the encouragement!  I might say though, don't sell yourself short - Allah will judge each and everyone of us on our own merits alone: whether we choose to follow Islam after being born into it or reverting to it!  The beginnings are not so important as the outcome, all who choose to follow Islam are equal before Allah, we are only differentiated by our piety (which only Allah can judge).

And, born Muslim or revert, we all have our trials to bear.

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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Quote Community Replybullet Posted: 15 June 2005 at 2:15pm
Why do'nt you ask them this the next time the missionaries come to you, tell them something like this:"i am sure you and i know that there is a creator...let me finish please...there is a creator because the creation we see hear smell and feel can not exist without a maker, same thing when you do not make a chair there would not be a chair, so the truth of a creator is self evident, The truth is self evident. He created us, and everything else, He made for us food, water and everything to use to a set time and then we will be brought back to Him since this all can not be just for play, so we will be judged for our choices, the bad and good. He gives us food and clothing and things to use to make it easy for ourselves so we should thank Him, this is part of worship because only the ungrateful do not worship Him(kufr in arabic also means ungratefulness). Then we see in history that there were people who invited people to worship The Creator, The One and only god because some of us forgot and needed a reminder of Him, He is The Merciful, but He tells us that the ungrateful, the disbelievers will be put in hell. Now truths are self evident, like a creation can not exist without a creator, but if you say Jesus died on a cross for our sins is that self evident? and what about your feelings? there is no self invidence in those feelings for me, then i say to you, you are a human who can lie and be deceived. Is it the truth because your book says so? surely that book was written by men and again men have the ability to lie deceive and be wrong. what? God made them write it down? and you say so? what is wrong with you? can't you understand i fear The One whom i will be brought back to who IS The Truth, how would i be then if i accepted a lie as a truth? See if i accepted your words as truth i know you would be pleased with me now, you would be pleased with me following you, but the truth is only Him being pleased is important to me, you will avail me nothing in the hereafter no matter how pleased or displeased you are, His is the judgement on that day in truth and Him being pleased is a true believers goal. So i wish to please my Lord, and i guess you wish to please your lord. If your lord is The Truth then i tell you truths lead to Him, so seek the truth and leave doubts. (You could read to him the verse from the bible psalm 118 verse 8 i believe:it is better to seek refuge in The Lord then to trust in men") i hope this makes some sense to you, i wish i had better words at my disposal, but this might do for now.
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