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Aminah07
 
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Quote Aminah07 Replybullet Topic: Question for muslim families?
    Posted: 23 March 2008 at 3:48pm

Assalamu'Alaikum,

I know the rulings and all of that so I'm not really asking is it Haram or Halal? I know that as Muslims we should avoid it but I just wanted to get a personal opinion of why you would or would not participate.

My family is not muslim and up until this last year(there have been 20) since I've been married foreverAlhamdulillah. My family understood we only celebrate Eid and respected that.

Well last week we had family movie night at our house and invited my mom "Grandma" and "Uncle"(my brother)  over for it we watched "The Bee Movie" we rarely watch non-Islamic but I really liked the story so I rented it. Towards the end Grandma came up with a grand plan that the kids should all come over and dye Easter Eggs at her house this week. I was shocked  I never expected that sort of spring break idea to pop into her head.

So I quietly blew it off I know bad daughter but I'm not even supposed to say OOF and at that moment the best I could do is smile and quietly say "I wasn't sure about our weekend plans yet".

Tuesday, Grandma calls~while I was making copies for homeschooling and got my son Nuh on the phone and went on and on about how much fun it would be.....Arrrrgh and than when I got on the phone my kids who have never done this were bouncing all over the room talking about duckies and bunnies etc....

This OOOF thing has been a super big challenge for me lately

So I again mentioned that if the weather got back into the 40's I'd love to take the kids for a picnic to the Detroit Zoo if she would like to come. The boys love to polar bear glass tunnel and the monkeys etc.

She's just gunho on the whole eggs bit and they're so expensive now too. I told her I'd talk to my husband when he came home from work for lunch and let her know....I know...I know really bad daughter I should of just ripped the bandaid off and said "NO"

Well I approached the issue over lunch and my husband said he'd call her when he got back to the office and just invite her to come spend the weekend or anytime she has free with us and he'd explain that we didn't celebrate these holidays but the kids would love to spend time with her doing different activities.

She hasn't called in days....I know she's really upsetwith me I can almost picture my middle name being said everytime she mentions me in conversation

So what would you do stand firm...be polite....or just cave and do some pagan holiday ritual that has nothing to do with Isa(as) at all?

JazakAllahuKhair

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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 23 March 2008 at 4:04pm
 Call her and you'll feel better.
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imp87
 
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Quote imp87 Replybullet Posted: 23 March 2008 at 4:27pm

I think you did the right thing, about not sending them.

Just call them and talk, if everything seems to be normal then there is no problem I guess, however if there is a problem then I think you need to explain why you do not want your kids celebrating such an event. Just try to do a comparison, for example ask if they would let there children celebrate something which has Islamic roots or any other (religious root).

However more importantly, I think you need to explain to your children in a nice way why we Muslims do not celebrate such a thing, and just to make them understand the importance of our celebrations and how much better it is.

Plus lets ""keep it real"", there your kids so you decide what they celebrate or dont.



Edited by imp87
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Aminah07
 
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Quote Aminah07 Replybullet Posted: 23 March 2008 at 6:46pm

JazakAllahuKhair,

I am planning on calling her tomorrow morning before she leaves for work. But after she has her coffee.The advantage of being the kid you get to know the best time to approach you parents even if you are all grown up.

The kids do understand and my family understands the reasons we don't celebrate...That's why it felt like there was a wrench thrown in the works last week when my mom made the invitation to them to go over to her house.

It was just so frustrating because when mom called on Tuesday she made the whole event sound so interesting and fun like some kind of forbidden fruit that the kids were almost disappointed. We have a vhs tape called the truth about Holidays' they've seen it before but I pulled it out again in the evening and we watched it together.

To be honest my mom should watch it...it's kind of sad how so many of the holidays' have pagan roots tied into the Christian faith.

Well that'll be for another time~Insha'Allah everything will work out .

JazakAllahuKhair again for the advice.

 

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aka2x2
 
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Quote aka2x2 Replybullet Posted: 25 March 2008 at 11:30am

It is not an accident that Christmas falls on the Winter solstice and Easter on the spring equinox. Cabin fever sets in and people need something to look forward to at these times of the year. Other cultures also have celebrations at about the same times. Persians, Kurds and others celebrate Nowrooz, Chinese celebrate new year, etc, etc.

 

Be that as it may, I have no problem celebrating the resurrection of a bunny that lays chocolate eggs or the birthday of a jolly old man who works for Toys-R-us and flies a sled.

 

Allah (swt) did not forbid “fun” especially for kids.


Respectfully
aka2x2
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Truth_light24
 
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Quote Truth_light24 Replybullet Posted: 25 March 2008 at 5:12pm
Allah indeed did not forbid fun for the kids and even for adults as long as it is not against Islam..

To let the kids do what other religion does for the sake of fun is something most dont take seriously but always bear in mind - strong foundation of deen starts from childhood. What they used to do during that age is hard to correct when they grow old and would continuously think that its okey...as the saying goes its hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

What you did Aminah is right.  Call her, explain to her nicely and pray that someday Allah will guide her too and be a muslim like us, ameen.
And those who annoy believing men and women undeservedly, bear (on themselves) a calumny and a glaring sin. Quran33:59
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hat2010
 
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Quote hat2010 Replybullet Posted: 25 March 2008 at 8:45pm
Peace to all,

To continue building on the previous strong scholarly foundations* of the helpful Truth_light24:
In the brotherly spirit of concern and sharing,
Truth_light24 does not want your family to go to their currently predestined locale:  eternal hellfire where all your non-muslim family members will be punished in the most intense ways forever.  That's why our educating friend Truth light24 is kindly helping you in relation to your hellbound family by pointing out the slippery-slope of chocolate easter eggs, fake grass, and Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail to... regrettably...  perpetual punishment in a blistering hellish flame with the rest of your non-muslim family, including "Grandma" and "Uncle"

As the educated Truth_light24: says,   "Call her, explain to her nicely and pray that someday Allah will guide her too and be a muslim like us, ameen."
Letting her know that it aches to know that no matter how much light, consideration and kindness they perform in this life, they will be uninterruptedly suffering in the afterlife unless they accept Islam.*

* the foundations one can learn from the enlightened and helpful "What is a Kuffar?" thread to which the short answer is: everyone who isn't Muslim.
 





Edited by Jamal Morelli
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minuteman
 
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Quote minuteman Replybullet Posted: 25 March 2008 at 10:11pm

 

 There is no harm in meeting the relatives and parents. That was the good way of the holy prophet and his companions. It was the pagans and Kuffar who forbade meeting / mixing with momineen (believers). Prophet did not do it.

 Even at a time that the relative (or a relative) of Hazrat Abu Bakr was a staunch enemy of Islam and Hazrat Abubakr decided to stop the funds that he used to provide and said openly that he (Abubakr) will not give any funds to the relative. It came to the notice of the holy prophet s.a.w.s. The holy prophet called Hazrat Abubakr and told him not to stop any aid to the opponent.

 That should be a good example for any one who believes in cutting off relations with non muslims. I had explained before. Allah is Al-Rehman and  Al-Raheem. He does not like that relations of the womb (Rehm) to be cut off. If any one will break the relations of the womb then Allah will not accept his Dua'a, his prayers.

 Our children, if we are bringing them up properly, will not fall a prey to the bad customs of the non muslims so quickly. Rather, our children will be kind and gentle to the other children and will not raise any hue and cry over the bad customs of the non muslims. We need not fear a few meetings with non muslim children every six months or two months.



Edited by minuteman
If any one is bad some one must suffer
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