sorrry aisha,I was a little defensive. I would like to learn some Arabic slowly, but my husband is from another country so I am trying to learn that language to teach the kids so when we visit they can communicate since all of his relatives live there(in southeast asia). I don't think in Islam you have to learn Arabic especially if you convert as an adult since it is a much greater task that learning as a child, but I think it is really good if you can. I don't feel knowing Arabic makes anyone a better Muslim though by any means. My husband learned for years to read Arabic to study Quran as a child but can not understand what he is reading and still has to read the translation, this is the case with many people in the world and I can listen to a verse on C.D. memorize and recite it and read the translation to know what it means. Most Muslims do not speak Arabic.
What is frustrating for me as a convert is that I have noticed that every Muslim wants you to be like them, whatever they do they want you to do. And no one is satisfied anymore in intelectual circles if you just want to be a good Muslim and be a nice mother and wife. Its like what are you studying now, who is your sheik, what is the school of thought you follow, I mean come on. It is all very annoying not just to me but to many many people I talk to. Many people only go to the Mosque for prayer and aviod interacting because they tire of useless comments from others. I'll give you an example My very good friend recently was at our Masjid she is half lebanese and half american and has no accent so people think she is a convert when she has been muslim all her life. She went to pick up a Quran from the bookshelve and a sister told her " oh no, you cant stand and walk while you hold the Quran, you must go on your knees." This lady proceded to demonstrate kneeling and scooting accross the floor with the Quran. My friend said well i hope you don't have to carry it very far, imagine if you had to go a few miles. My point is people make these kind of comments to me and others and we are sick of it. People love to make up rules where there should be none. Our religon is supposed to be simple enough that anyone, young or old, rich or poor, educated or not can follow it. Jenni

Assalamu alaikum,

No, I most certainly was not being critical, I was pointing out the perceived way in which men seem to take all things on as a big task.  As I pointed out in my post, I celebrate this difference between men and women.  We can't be the same, indeed, we must not be the same.  We complete each other, like two different parts that fit together very well, just as Allah intended.

Please feel free to pursue your intention for this thread (or any other).  My point is, that as long as we are not going against Islam, we should all be more supportive of each other rather than critical. 

I do understand Jenni's view point very well.  Far too many Muslims think "their" Islam is the only one and the true one.  Far too many Muslims "make up their own rules" about Islam and try to convince others it is the right path.

Yes, we must stop being critical, but, we must also "enjoin good and forbid evil" which entails stopping "local rules" and "personal interpretations of Islam" in their tracks.  The only way to do this, is through knowledge...

And now we are back to how much must we study Islam?  It seems being a good Muslim is a careful balance of study and deeds, each of us as we are capable of doing.

Aisha, I support and applaud your efforts to learn Arabic.  Ali Zaki, I support and applaud your efforts to use knowledge to get across your points.  Jenni, I support and applaud you in your efforts to be the best mother and wife you can be.  I should be supported and applauded for trying to bring a little harmony among a few Muslims (not being "full of myself" here - just making a point).

You see, we are four good Muslims who do not necessarily see eye to eye, but can be united as Muslims for the good of the ummah without having to be critical of one another.  Gentle reminding and good knowledge are the ways brothers and sisters should help one another stay on the right path.

What was in my milk this morning?  I sound like a crazed preacher!!!  Sorry!  I hope my point is not lost in all my rambling......

Peace, ummziba.

salam,i must apologize jenni it seems i was a bit harsh on you, believe me it was not my intention.as a revert myself i should of understood more.reading what you wrote about your friend and the masjid made me think about a conversation i had with a friend it was about how cultures can be mixed with islam and through generations can be mistaken for allahs words and hadith.once again sorry if i offended you,sallam waalikum.

Thanks for your comments AliZaki as well.