IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum: Tomas- Can I go back to islam?

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The One

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Joined: 10 June 2005
Location: India
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Posts: 62

Posted: 14 June 2005 at 6:23am

Bismillah Herjihad!

My would be is a Sunni Muslim belonging to Andhra region. They are called Andhra Muslims. They are our family friends. So their is no opposition from either families.

Most Indians are conservative yet inter religious marriages still are very common. Our marriage is planned. My parents and would be in-laws want us to have a registered marriage. But I want to have a traditional Muslim and Hindu marriage. My would be is with me. We have ample time to decide on what to do. So the problem is with the Muslim marriage. Thats strange that one should be a Muslim, otherwise it will not be an acceptable marriage. Does that mean that marriage with a non-Muslim is totally ruled out?
Aren't their any reservations made?

Thank you.

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The One

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Posted: 14 June 2005 at 6:26am

Salam to Ahmad!

I am a Hindu. An Indian Muslim can understand my situation better, thats why an SOS in my avatar.

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AhmadJoyia

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Posted: 14 June 2005 at 6:42am

My Dear bro The One,

I really couldn't understand once you say you want your marriage in an hindu way and yet you insist that your avatar is SOS (save our soul). What's the difference between registered marriage and traditional marriage and why do you prefer one over the other?

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The One

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Posted: 14 June 2005 at 11:16am

Salam brother Ahmad!

I said that we want to have a traditional Muslim and Hindu marriage. Not Hindu alone.

The SOS is for the Muslim marriage. I found that I cannot marry her according to Muslim law. Thats why the SOS to Indian Muslims.

A Register Marriage does not have a marriage ceremony. Though India is secular, we do not have a Uniform Civil Code, every religion can have its own law. Muslims follow their own law(may be Shariah). According to the websites given, it seems that marriage is a contract according to Islam. But its not the case with the Hindus. Marriage is a pious ceremony where two souls become one. It is more based on love rather than religion or sect. So, here we have a Special Marriage Act concerning inter-religious marriages.

There is no problem considering a Hindu marriage, my wife need not be Hindu. But when it comes to Muslim marriage, I would become a Kafir.

According to Indian Muslim Law :
"A Sunni Muslim may validly marry even a non-Muslim Kitabia (e.g. Christian woman or jew and a Shia Muslim may do so provided the marriage is mutta (temporary) marriage. A Muslim male cannot validly marry a non-Kitabia (e.g. an idolatress such as a Hindu woman). Among Shias such a marriage is void whereas the Sunnis take a more lenient view and regard it as irregular marriage. The woman may at any time embrace Islam and cure this irregularity."

Hindu laws are flexible. They are guides rather than edicts. Is there any flexibility regarding the Muslim marriage law? Thats why the SOS.

Thank you.

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Ali Zaki

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Joined: 10 May 2005
Location: United States
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Posts: 217

Posted: 14 June 2005 at 11:39am

Salam (Peace) to all,

I am a little bit confused by this thread (in addition, it is way off the orignal topic).

Question for The One

I don't understand why you keep asking the same question over and over again. Islam is not like a roulette wheel (i.e., you get something different every time you turn the wheel). As you said yourself, according to both Shia and Sunni Fiqh if a Muslim women marries a non-Muslim man the marriage is not accepted by Islam. This does not effect you (vis a vie, Islam as Hindu's are considered Kafir whether there married to a Muslim or anyone else), however, it means that your wifes religion does not accept this marriage. Let's not complicate things unneccessarily by bringing in Indian Law, Hindu beliefs, etc. as this has nothing to do with the question of whether or not it is permissible according to Islam.

Do you have another question, or are you just looking for a different answer?

Salam

"The structure of faith is supported by four pillars endurance, conviction, justice and jihad."

Imam Ali (a.s.)

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AhmadJoyia

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Joined: 20 March 2005
Location: Pakistan
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Posts: 1161

Posted: 14 June 2005 at 12:16pm

O my dear Bro The One,

I got your point especially with regard to SOS. If I am correct, you imply, with SOS being your Avatar, that you are willing to be secular as far as your beleifs are concerned for this marriage to take place. Therefore, for you there is no problem to marry anyone out of hinduism what to talk about out of Varna. In the same token, if the flame of love is also so hot on the other side, why do anyone care about following the Indian Islmic law. You both could be together through SOS. However, the problem arises, when one of the two decides not to be the part of SOS. And if this problem persists and gains more momentum than the flame of love, its better to ponder over the future discourses now than later. Rest God knows the best.

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The One

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Posts: 62

Posted: 14 June 2005 at 8:23pm

Salam Ahmad!

You got me wrong. I was not talking about secularism. I need not try to be secular, India was always secular and we are not bound by our Varna.

I want to have a formal Nikah. But according to the present Indian Muslim law, our marriage is invalid. I was asking about any exceptions in the Islamic law regarding marriage which were not incorporated in the Indian Muslim Law.

Thank you.

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SixNineteen

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Joined: 10 June 2005
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Posts: 3

Posted: 14 June 2005 at 10:09pm

Aww, everyone forgot me?

Im going to get a little personal here; what im going to tell you is something i've want to end. Its an addiction I have, and I seem to cant let it go, its draining my savings, my time, and the way I look at women *hint*. I know that Allah will free me from my enslavement of sin, I hate it with all my heart. I hang out and talk to the wrong people, I need to escape from this lust. Even the christians brothers and sisters are "wordly", when I told them i had problems with Christianity and I felt I was falling away from God, they prayed for me, but they never called me or contacted me to see how I was doing. A christian friend of mine never calls me anymore to tell me how im doing... its as if they abandoned me. I prayed to Jesus (pbuh) for help. Then to relieve my pains, I went out and seek for worldly pleasures; lusting after women, sexual relationships, drinking excessively, and having a bad attitude towards anyone who looked at me funny.... THAT is not me. I need the Right path; i miss the brotherhood I had with the muslims, but I am afraid of the worldly rejection that I may encounter. It is a battle and I pray to my Creator to give me strength.

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Topic: Tomas- Can I go back to islam?
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Author	Message
The One Groupie Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: India Online Status: Offline Posts: 62	Posted: 14 June 2005 at 6:23am
	Bismillah Herjihad! My would be is a Sunni Muslim belonging to Andhra region. They are called Andhra Muslims. They are our family friends. So their is no opposition from either families. Most Indians are conservative yet inter religious marriages still are very common. Our marriage is planned. My parents and would be in-laws want us to have a registered marriage. But I want to have a traditional Muslim and Hindu marriage. My would be is with me. We have ample time to decide on what to do. So the problem is with the Muslim marriage. Thats strange that one should be a Muslim, otherwise it will not be an acceptable marriage. Does that mean that marriage with a non-Muslim is totally ruled out? Aren't their any reservations made? Thank you.
	IP Logged

The One Groupie Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: India Online Status: Offline Posts: 62	Posted: 14 June 2005 at 6:26am
	Salam to Ahmad! I am a Hindu. An Indian Muslim can understand my situation better, thats why an SOS in my avatar.
	IP Logged

AhmadJoyia Senior Member Joined: 20 March 2005 Location: Pakistan Online Status: Offline Posts: 1161	Posted: 14 June 2005 at 6:42am
	My Dear bro The One, I really couldn't understand once you say you want your marriage in an hindu way and yet you insist that your avatar is SOS (save our soul). What's the difference between registered marriage and traditional marriage and why do you prefer one over the other?
	IP Logged

The One Groupie Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: India Online Status: Offline Posts: 62	Posted: 14 June 2005 at 11:16am
	Salam brother Ahmad! I said that we want to have a traditional Muslim and Hindu marriage. Not Hindu alone. The SOS is for the Muslim marriage. I found that I cannot marry her according to Muslim law. Thats why the SOS to Indian Muslims. A Register Marriage does not have a marriage ceremony. Though India is secular, we do not have a Uniform Civil Code, every religion can have its own law. Muslims follow their own law(may be Shariah). According to the websites given, it seems that marriage is a contract according to Islam. But its not the case with the Hindus. Marriage is a pious ceremony where two souls become one. It is more based on love rather than religion or sect. So, here we have a Special Marriage Act concerning inter-religious marriages. There is no problem considering a Hindu marriage, my wife need not be Hindu. But when it comes to Muslim marriage, I would become a Kafir. According to Indian Muslim Law : "A Sunni Muslim may validly marry even a non-Muslim Kitabia (e.g. Christian woman or jew and a Shia Muslim may do so provided the marriage is mutta (temporary) marriage. A Muslim male cannot validly marry a non-Kitabia (e.g. an idolatress such as a Hindu woman). Among Shias such a marriage is void whereas the Sunnis take a more lenient view and regard it as irregular marriage. The woman may at any time embrace Islam and cure this irregularity." Hindu laws are flexible. They are guides rather than edicts. Is there any flexibility regarding the Muslim marriage law? Thats why the SOS. Thank you.
	IP Logged

Ali Zaki Senior Member Joined: 10 May 2005 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 217	Posted: 14 June 2005 at 11:39am
	Salam (Peace) to all, I am a little bit confused by this thread (in addition, it is way off the orignal topic). Question for The One I don't understand why you keep asking the same question over and over again. Islam is not like a roulette wheel (i.e., you get something different every time you turn the wheel). As you said yourself, according to both Shia and Sunni Fiqh if a Muslim women marries a non-Muslim man the marriage is not accepted by Islam. This does not effect you (vis a vie, Islam as Hindu's are considered Kafir whether there married to a Muslim or anyone else), however, it means that your wifes religion does not accept this marriage. Let's not complicate things unneccessarily by bringing in Indian Law, Hindu beliefs, etc. as this has nothing to do with the question of whether or not it is permissible according to Islam. Do you have another question, or are you just looking for a different answer? Salam
	"The structure of faith is supported by four pillars endurance, conviction, justice and jihad." Imam Ali (a.s.)
	IP Logged

AhmadJoyia Senior Member Joined: 20 March 2005 Location: Pakistan Online Status: Offline Posts: 1161	Posted: 14 June 2005 at 12:16pm
	O my dear Bro The One, I got your point especially with regard to SOS. If I am correct, you imply, with SOS being your Avatar, that you are willing to be secular as far as your beleifs are concerned for this marriage to take place. Therefore, for you there is no problem to marry anyone out of hinduism what to talk about out of Varna. In the same token, if the flame of love is also so hot on the other side, why do anyone care about following the Indian Islmic law. You both could be together through SOS. However, the problem arises, when one of the two decides not to be the part of SOS. And if this problem persists and gains more momentum than the flame of love, its better to ponder over the future discourses now than later. Rest God knows the best.
	IP Logged

The One Groupie Joined: 10 June 2005 Location: India Online Status: Offline Posts: 62	Posted: 14 June 2005 at 8:23pm
	Salam Ahmad! You got me wrong. I was not talking about secularism. I need not try to be secular, India was always secular and we are not bound by our Varna. I want to have a formal Nikah. But according to the present Indian Muslim law, our marriage is invalid. I was asking about any exceptions in the Islamic law regarding marriage which were not incorporated in the Indian Muslim Law. Thank you.
	IP Logged

SixNineteen Starter Joined: 10 June 2005 Online Status: Offline Posts: 3	Posted: 14 June 2005 at 10:09pm
	Aww, everyone forgot me? Im going to get a little personal here; what im going to tell you is something i've want to end. Its an addiction I have, and I seem to cant let it go, its draining my savings, my time, and the way I look at women hint. I know that Allah will free me from my enslavement of sin, I hate it with all my heart. I hang out and talk to the wrong people, I need to escape from this lust. Even the christians brothers and sisters are "wordly", when I told them i had problems with Christianity and I felt I was falling away from God, they prayed for me, but they never called me or contacted me to see how I was doing. A christian friend of mine never calls me anymore to tell me how im doing... its as if they abandoned me. I prayed to Jesus (pbuh) for help. Then to relieve my pains, I went out and seek for worldly pleasures; lusting after women, sexual relationships, drinking excessively, and having a bad attitude towards anyone who looked at me funny.... THAT is not me. I need the Right path; i miss the brotherhood I had with the muslims, but I am afraid of the worldly rejection that I may encounter. It is a battle and I pray to my Creator to give me strength.
	IP Logged