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Message Icon Topic: Why (and how) women cheat? Post Reply Post New Topic
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Lameese
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Quote Lameese Replybullet Posted: 24 June 2005 at 12:04pm
Originally posted by ZamanH

So you are saying that a man, in the end, is like a dog and cannot control himself if polygamy is banned??? Then why not have this for women too? That way it is fair for all.

Men are just as much like dogs as women are as like ...

Men and women are significantly different. Equality of rights don't imply their identicality. Man and women are very different (both physically and mentally) and their responsibilities are different. What is right for one is not be neccessarily right for others. In Islam, one  (either of the men and women) has greater right over the other, here and there, but overall it evens out.

 

Well, isn't that easy for you to say since you are a man. It is nice to know it evens out, I do not blieve that at all because I am a woman and live it.

Let me ask you, do you want to share your wife with another man? And I know the answer is no. So, what makes you think your wife wants to share you with another woman? I believe if it could be equally done then everyone would just have one wife and one husband and there would be a lot more respect going on.

Lameese

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Let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another and let it be a moving sea between the the shores of your soul
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Ali Zaki
 
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Quote Ali Zaki Replybullet Posted: 24 June 2005 at 1:52pm

Salam to Lamese,

I respect that you would not want to share you're husband with another women (and I suspect most women would agree with you, and you can include MY wife in that category as well). It is clear to anyone who studies Quran, Sunnah or the life of the Prophet that a one man/one women marriage is the BEST and PREFERED type of marriage. I don't thing anyone is advocating plural marriage, however, noone is saying that polygamy is haram either (it is in Quran).

If a women is absolutely certain that she would never accept that her husband marries another women, this is easy to take care of (if it is done before marriage). All she has to do is ask the sheik to write it into the marriage contract. If both (the prospective husband and wife) accept, then he is bound by this condition. You can check with your sheik on this.

Salam

"The structure of faith is supported by four pillars endurance, conviction, justice and jihad."

Imam Ali (a.s.)
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Lameese
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Quote Lameese Replybullet Posted: 24 June 2005 at 2:34pm

Salam to Ali Zaki,

Thank you for the info. I do already know this but sometimes I get tired of men spouting off about this. It is like not having respect for women when this subject comes up.

"If you cannot treat all wives fairly, then take only one"

How could you treat them all fairly? I agree it is better to take only one but I think if the situation was equal then the respect would be higher for each couple. The Prophet did not marry for fun. He married women that were widdowed by wars or women who had nothing. He was a better man then any of today's.

Thanks again,

 

Lameese

You Shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
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Love one another and let it be a moving sea between the the shores of your soul
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ZamanH
 
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 25 June 2005 at 10:59am
Originally posted by Lameese

Well, isn't that easy for you to say since you are a man. It is nice to know it evens out, I do not blieve that at all because I am a woman and live it.

As far as I know, you are a lebanese with a christian husband. And Lebanon does not implement Islamic law. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Also, even if you think that women don't have equal rights in Islam, I think they still have sufficient rights so that most of them live happily and with respect. E.g. they have as much right to live as men, right to get educated and to be taken good care of by their husbands.

Originally posted by Lameese

Let me ask you, do you want to share your wife with another man? And I know the answer is no. So, what makes you think your wife wants to share you with another woman? I believe if it could be equally done then everyone would just have one wife and one husband and there would be a lot more respect going on.

Lameese

As I have earlier said, if I marry another woman I won't be going to her home. She will be coming to my home. That is why I believe I won't be cheating my wife. I won't be leaving my first wife, she will be living with me in my home.

An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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Lameese
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Quote Lameese Replybullet Posted: 25 June 2005 at 11:15am

[/QUOTE]

As far as I know, you are a lebanese with a christian husband. And Lebanon does not implement Islamic law. Please correct me if I am wrong.

As per usual, you are wrong. I am not Lebaneese and my husband is not a Christian.

Also, even if you think that women don't have equal rights in Islam, I think they still have sufficient rights so that most of them live happily and with respect. E.g. they have as much right to live as men, right to get educated and to be taken good care of by their husbands.

Well, do the women get to enjoy these rights or does A LOT of culture get in the way? Because the majority of my friends do not get their full rights. But of course, that is due to the culture of the various nationalities.

Originally posted by Lameese

Let me ask you, do you want to share your wife with another man? And I know the answer is no. So, what makes you think your wife wants to share you with another woman? I believe if it could be equally done then everyone would just have one wife and one husband and there would be a lot more respect going on.

Lameese

As I have earlier said, if I marry another woman I won't be going to her home. She will be coming to my home. That is why I believe I won't be cheating my wife. I won't be leaving my first wife, she will be living with me in my home.

[/QUOTE]

I think you need to provide a home for both wives. That would be equal. Espically if you are treating them the same, as it says.  But you will probably not have to worry abou this. :)

Lameese 

You Shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another and let it be a moving sea between the the shores of your soul
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ZamanH
 
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 25 June 2005 at 11:45am

But you will probably not have to worry abou this. :)

That was a bitchy thing to say.   

But you need not worry either.

An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 25 June 2005 at 11:54am

As per usual, you are wrong. I am not Lebaneese and my husband is not a Christian.

I was confused. Don't get to read your posts often. You seem to be talking as if you have a Muslim husband and I believe you are a non-Muslim.

Well, do the women get to enjoy these rights or does A LOT of culture get in the way? Because the majority of my friends do not get their full rights. But of course, that is due to the culture of the various nationalities.

yeah you are right. That is embarassing. But my approach will implementing the religious laws more thoroughly  and thus, improve the plight of women. And NOT directly improving the plight of women by obviating the religion.

An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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Lameese
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Quote Lameese Replybullet Posted: 25 June 2005 at 12:02pm
Originally posted by ZamanH

But you will probably not have to worry abou this. :)

That was a bitchy thing to say.   

But you need not worry either.

 

Aren't you nice? And I will never have to worry about it :)

You Shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another and let it be a moving sea between the the shores of your soul
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