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Message Icon Topic: Why (and how) women cheat? Post Reply Post New Topic
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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2005 at 8:06pm

First and foremost let me say I apologize for giving myself a bad name by angrily saying what I would do to another person. that in reality outside of IC is not me, at least not anymore. I find it quite rude and upsetting that another so-called Muslim would use something that is used as an example to use as a personal remark against me. Perhaps there is a lesson here that maybe I shouldn't try to over extend myself by using personal examples. But I feel that to uphold Islamic criterion we shouldn't use negative language towards each other. I must also retract what I said at the end of saying that I'm sad to call you my brother, instead what I should have said was that I'm disappointed in you brother.

However I do feel that you have some quality issues that you need to work outside which you and God can only work on. I cannot judge you nor you cannot judge me. But by your actions on the internet it is quite likely that whatever you say here you will know on the Day of Judgement, as well as whatever I say here. Brother a lesson in life I could teach you is that you should never judge another brother nor should you use personal attacks against another Muslim brother.

This is the problem with Islam today is that we have so many prejudices against one another and use so many hateful words towards one another that its hard to be united. Quite sad, this forum says Men-Brothers yet we cannot even have helpful dialogue.

The woman whom you mentioned was not equipped with true knowledge, in fact to be honest with you she only was engaged to me because of her curiousity of American men--in particular of African-Americans. Quite funny because she is of Egyptian decent I guess majority of the younger generation there love Hip-Hop and I assume the reason she was attracted to me (along with my looks and intellect) was because I resembled what she admired. That lead me to believe that she didn't like me for me but she liked me because of who she desired.

Lesson in life here is if a woman doesn't love you for you but only loves you for what you have or what you may have she is not the one for you. The reason some women cheat is for vanity. Desires get in the way of rational behavior which leads to irrational desicions. When a woman sleeps with another man while engaged with another man she is committing infidelity. She does not say "I want to live with you" while having intercourse she is fulfilling a desire of lust. The actions result in pain and humiliation not only for the man who truly loved her but for her.

A true woman does not even desire another besides her husband and if she does then she should not marry. I echo the same with men. I also echo the same notion with being a Muslim. If a Muslim begins to question God or his faith then perhaps he should isolate himself in deep thought until he/she is wise to come to conclusion of what he/she needs to do to sustain his/her faith.

I for one do not believe in polygamy nor do I believe that a man should marry more women than one because like Kim says, love cannot be divided. Ifg man and woman come from each other then there is a reason why monogamy is important to the human family. Yes I could have erased what I said prior but I want people to see how mistakes can happen and I want people to read what I said here to correct them.

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ZamanH
 
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2005 at 10:45pm

As Salaam Alaikum,

Well, since the discussion/arguement in this thread is as good as over. I would conclude from my side as well.

First of all, I would like to apologise to Israfil for the smart, insensitive remark I made against him. I shouldn't have done so. Maybe, I did that because I felt being pushed to the edge after being repeatedly called hypocrite, being accused of saying what I didn't say and the sarcasm I had to face for my views (which were admittedly, sort of, unorthodox in their orthodoxy). Also, I am sorry to Kim for my remarks to her in this thread as well as in other threads.

As to my views about polygamy, I don't think things add up if we consider polygamy unnatural or ungodly. Allah created men to crave more for sex than woman. That, honestly, is the strongest reason for my belief that the Modern(western) condemnation of polygamy is wrong.

Also, about another course of arguement that resulted from the arguement over polygamy, i.e, a man does not betray his own family by committing adultery, my opinions were the result of my clasp with the culture in which I have been brought up. I think/believe that it is indirectly justified by Islam; as, although Muslim men are permitted to marry christian/jewish woman, Muslim women are not allowed to marry christian/jewish men. Also, men are allowed to have intercourse with female slaves, while, the women are not permitted.



Edited by ZamanH
An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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Lameese
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Quote Lameese Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2005 at 10:48pm

*wonders what it would be like to have more than one husband*

I do not think men crave it more, I think women, after keeping the house, raising the children, doing laundry, cooking, ironiong ect are just palin to tired. Maybe there should be more maids

Also, you cannot just have another wife because you crave sex more. I am positive it is in the Qur'an there must be a need for another wife........and I do not think it means so you can have more sex.

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Let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another and let it be a moving sea between the the shores of your soul
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ummziba
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Quote ummziba Replybullet Posted: 18 June 2005 at 5:50am

Assalamu alaikum,

Brother Israfil,

Just wanted to say I think you are very brave to reveal something personal, have it "bite you back", return that bite and then, in a true act of Islamic behavior, appologize and make things right. 

We are all nervous to "bare our souls" here for fear of being hurt.  Keeping in mind that nobody here really knows us or who we really are, makes it easier, but hurt is still hurt.  You have shown us a beautiful lesson.  Thank you.

Brother Zaman,

You have made many interesting comments all over the boards.  Try to remember that we are all a sum of our own culture, life experiences and genetics.  This is why we all have such diverse ideas about things.  And that is alright, as long as we express them without hurt to others.  I am glad to see you appologized to Israfil and Kim, it takes courage to do that.

I've said it before and I say it again: we Muslims must stick together!

Peace, ummziba. 

 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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ummziba
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Quote ummziba Replybullet Posted: 18 June 2005 at 6:06am

Assalamu alaikum,

I came across a very beautiful quote yesterday, took me a while to remember where I had written it down.  I think it is of great relevance to this thread.

"The Prophet said that women totally dominate men of intellect and possessors of hearts.  But ignorant men dominate women, for they are shackled by an animal ferocity.  They have no kindness, gentleness or love, since animality dominates their nature.  Love and kindness are human attributes; anger and sensuality belong to the animals.  She is the radiance of God; she is not your beloved."     Jalal Al-Din Rumi

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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abuayisha
 
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 18 June 2005 at 8:50am
Originally posted by ummziba

I came across a very beautiful quote yesterday,... "The Prophet said ........Jalal Al-Din Rumi

Yes, nice, but did the Prophet in  fact say this?  Is this an authentic hadith?  Who collected and narrated this "beautiful quote" attributed to our Prophet (pbuh)?

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ummziba
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Quote ummziba Replybullet Posted: 18 June 2005 at 11:32am

Assalamu alaikum brother abuayisha,

Sorry, I've no idea where Rumi got this from, or whether he just made it up - I just liked what it said.  If you like, I'll delete the first four words of the quote.  I never claimed it was hadith or even a quote of the Prophet's (pbuh), it is only a quote from Rumi.

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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ZamanH
 
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 19 June 2005 at 9:33pm
Also, you cannot just have another wife because you crave sex more.


Yes, I agree. The reason is man has less control over their sexual desires compared to woman. If polygamy is banned, it will continue to exist in other forms, anyway.



Edited by ZamanH
An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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