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Groups – Men (Brothers)
 IslamiCity Forum - Islamic Discussion Forum : Culture & Community : Groups – Men (Brothers)
Message Icon Topic: Why (and how) women cheat? Post Reply Post New Topic
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Jenni
 
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Quote Jenni Replybullet Posted: 26 July 2005 at 7:15am
Can you all please end this thread with Zamanh, it is truely pointless!!
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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Khadija1021
 
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Quote Khadija1021 Replybullet Posted: 26 July 2005 at 9:17am

Assalamu Alaikum

Sister Jenni, at this point I fully agree with you.  It seems that the customs and traditions of some societies are so thoroughly enmeshed in some people’s belief system that even divine revelation (Qur'an) is not safe from the twists and bends that they apply to life between the sexes.  I learned a very valuable lesson many years ago.  It goes like this:  “If someone walked up to you on the street and told you that you had grown a monkey’s tail, you might choose to over look it.  However, if several people came up to you and told you that you had grown a monkey’s tail, although it sounds completely implausible, wouldn’t you at least take the time to check it out?”  The way I see it, when an adult refuses to see that 1 + 1 = 2, it's definitely time to find something else to discuss. 

PAZ, Khadija

 

Say: 'My prayer and my rites, my living and my dying, are for Allah alone, the Lord of all the worlds. (Qur'an, 6:162)
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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 26 July 2005 at 11:28pm

Salaam,

The main reason women cheat is very simple....They hack the internet and download cheat codes to beat us in video games....No wonder I keep losing to lilttle sis

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Jenni
 
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Quote Jenni Replybullet Posted: 27 July 2005 at 6:28am
Good one Israfil!!!!!!!!!
You cant be a good muslim if you are not decent and have a cold heart. Be a decent and kind person and care for women and children and the elderly.
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ZamanH
 
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 28 July 2005 at 12:07am
Originally posted by Khadija1021

Assalamu Alaikum

Sister Jenni, at this point I fully agree with you.  It seems that the customs and traditions of some societies are so thoroughly enmeshed in some people’s belief system that even divine revelation (Qur'an) is not safe from the twists and bends that they apply to life between the sexes.  I learned a very valuable lesson many years ago.  It goes like this:  “If someone walked up to you on the street and told you that you had grown a monkey’s tail, you might choose to over look it.  However, if several people came up to you and told you that you had grown a monkey’s tail, although it sounds completely implausible, wouldn’t you at least take the time to check it out?”  The way I see it, when an adult refuses to see that 1 + 1 = 2, it's definitely time to find something else to discuss. 

PAZ, Khadija

 



Let me put it this way, almost nowhere in the world was it believed that a man betrays  his by having sex outside marriage, before the world was introduced to the modern western ideas. If at all such notions were Islamic, Prophet would have certainly enunciated them specifically. Besides, as I have said earlier, in his Last Sermon, he only told the women not to indulge in sex outside marriage, to be fair to their spouses, and not the men; although, he must have known that in the age of jahiliya, more men than women indulged in sex outside marriage).

Also, as  have said earlier, I will change my views reagarding the matter if I find a relevant hadith opposing what I believe regarding the matter.

Its over from my side, too.


Edited by ZamanH
An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 28 July 2005 at 12:28pm

Zaman bro,

One does not need hadith to show common sense. If a women has sex outside of marriage via sexual intercourse with another man its called cheating. The oath originally was between the man and women and vice versa. The same rule applies to the man. If a man brings a woman to his house and he is married there is no infidelity there so long as there is mutual respect. I would assume the woman being brought to the house is a female relative and not someone other than his wife.

But if at any point the man engages in sexual intercourse with the woman (other than the wife or any family memeber) then that is cheating because his prior oath is to one woman. Both men and women cheat and it takes a responsible man and woman to uphold their marital oaths to each other. What you've said prior did not logically make any sense and for you to say that you need hadith to confirm otherwise is a stubborn request. Majority of the people here (even moderators) believe what you say makes no sense. I'm not saying change how you think but at least take your extended family's opinions serious to some extent and rethink your position because its obviously flawed bro.

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Nausheen
 
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Quote Nausheen Replybullet Posted: 28 July 2005 at 5:17pm

Auzubillahi minash shaitan ir rajeem,

Bismillah ir rahman ir rahim,

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah,

Zaman, please define cheating. It seems if person A is obviously and materially harmed by another (B), where A and B are locked in a situation when they are not supposed to do this, only then you call it cheating. If the actions do not bring any obvious material harm, then for you it is not cheating. Is this so? 

If a man is having sex in any relationship other than a legal marriage, he is cheating his own soul even if he does not believe to have cheated his wedded wife! - because he committed adultery, thus followed his nafs and corrupted his soul.

Marriage is a commitment, and that commitment entails one not to commit infedility. When a man engages himself in a relationship which he is not supposed to engaged in, he commits infedility to the one who is in an intimate legal relationship with him ie his wife.  Not only this, if there are children from his marriage, he is even cheating his children, if he spends his time and attention outside the household in a haram setup.

If a man gambles, or spends his money in any other illegal way, that deprive his wife and kids, even that is cheating, then how come, spending his emotions, his attention, and his time in an illegal way, that deprive his wife and kids of these benefits will not be cheating?

Maa salaama,

Nausheen

 

 

 

Wanu nazzilu minal Qurani ma huwa
Shafaa un wa rahmatun lil mo'mineena
wa la yaziduzzalimeena illa khasara.
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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 28 July 2005 at 6:59pm
Of course Zaman chooses not to repsond to me because as another man I do not share this viee and I've proven the err of this type of logic. But if you wish I can show Hadith.....
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