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Message Icon Topic: Why (and how) women cheat? Post Reply Post New Topic
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Lameese
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Quote Lameese Replybullet Posted: 19 June 2005 at 9:45pm

ZamanH,

You say that men have less control over their appitites.........and that if banned it will continue to exist in other ways..........who would you be cheating or comminting this act with? Does it not stand to reason to you that if you feel that way that there are women that feel that way?  Men always say what you say and some go out and have many many many women........the key word  there is women....

Am I making sense?? If women did not crave it to some extent you would have NO ONE to be with......

 

Lameese

You Shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another and let it be a moving sea between the the shores of your soul
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 19 June 2005 at 9:58pm
Originally posted by Ummziba

I would urge you, brother Zaman, not to get personal in your comments.  You are entitled to your opinion as are others.  There is no need to call people names or to hurt peoples feelings.

This not to justify what I said to Israfil, but, I did not get personal first. I got tired of being repeatedly called a hypocrite.


Can you explain why  is the harm less? And why is the other man harmed more? Is it because his ego, his respect in the society marred when his wife is cheating on him? Is it not same for the woman whose man is cheating on her?

Without risking trivialising the trauma, I don't think that a spouse betrays a person just because of hurting his/her ego, respect etc. Otherwise, we will also have to group divorces, khula or even sacking someone from job as betrayal.


An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 19 June 2005 at 10:05pm
Men always say what you say and some go out and have many many many women.


Even in the West, as far as I know, boys run after the girls. There will always be fewer women who would indulge in illicit sex compared to men.Their reason for indulgence in illicit sex will not just simply be sex. Most of them will probably be doing it for money, loneliness etc.


Edited by ZamanH
An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 21 June 2005 at 5:30pm
OMG praise God finally ZXaman and I agree on something. I do agree with you, that there is some discrepencies between how a man and woman in dulge themselves in their sexual appetites. But there are a portion of women who are permiscuous because they want to indulge in their sexual appetites.
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2005 at 3:15am
My point is if polygamy is banned, quite a large number of men (who are otherwise good) will act illegally because of that.
An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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Lameese
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Quote Lameese Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2005 at 5:00am

[QUOTE=ZamanH]My point is if polygamy is banned, quite a large number of men (who are otherwise good) will act illegally because of that.

So you are saying that a man, in the end, is like a dog and cannot control himself if polygamy is banned??? Then why not have this for women too? That way it is fair for all.

If you cannot control yourself and HAVE TO HAVE polygamy in palce then maybe it is time you see a Dr. He can get your  "appities" in check.

 

Lameese

You Shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another and let it be a moving sea between the the shores of your soul
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Ali Zaki
 
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Quote Ali Zaki Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2005 at 7:15am

EQUALITY OF MEN AND WOMEN

" Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a new life, a life that is good and pure, and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions (16:19)"

CONTROL YOURSELF!

the Commander of the Faithful Ali (Pbuh) said:

God the Glorious and the Almighty has given angels intellect with no lust; the animals have lust without intellect; and man has both intellect and lust. Whoever can govern his lust with his intellect is superior to the angels, and whoever loses control of his intellect or his lust is inferior to the animals. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.57, p.299]

JUSTICE IS THE KEY!

" marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course." (Nisa 4:3)

=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= -=-

Men and women have different roles and responsibilities within the context of marriage, however, this does not mean that one person (or one role) is superior to the other.

As a married man, many times I have difficulty fulfilling my Islamic duties toward my ONE WIFE (i.e., being just, being kind and gentle with her in all situations, providing for her and my children financially, etc.) Even if a man has been blessed with wealth, this does not mean that he can be just with his time (i.e., if you have more than one wife, you must be equitable in ALL MATTERS, including the time you spend with them, etc.).

If a man focuses on the rights that his wife and children have on him, vs. what HE WANTS from them, the idea of plural marriage becomes less attractive. If a man is simply wanting to marry a second, third or fourth wife for lustful reasons, then this is prohibited in Islam and he will damage himself and his family. I have seen examples of successul plural marriages (when the man has the means, and both the huband and wife are mumineen (belivers)), however, this is the rare exception. In general, I would stay one wife is preferable (and Islam supports this) for a man who wants to protect himself in this world (Dunya) and the next (Ahira).

Salam

"The structure of faith is supported by four pillars endurance, conviction, justice and jihad."

Imam Ali (a.s.)
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Quote abuayisha Replybullet Posted: 22 June 2005 at 1:24pm
Originally posted by Ali Zaki

 If a man is simply wanting to marry a second, third or fourth wife for lustful reasons, then this is prohibited in Islam ...

What is your evidence that taking another wife for "lustful" reasons is prohibited in Islam?

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