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Message Icon Topic: Why (and how) women cheat? Post Reply Post New Topic
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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 16 June 2005 at 6:39pm

Kim states:

Hypocrites.

No wonder so many people can't be bothered reverting - why would they. The overriding, overwhelming view of all of this is that men are superior, men can sleep around, men can murder...and women can do dishes, pump out babies and be tortured.

You make me sick.

Kim...

I have to say Kim that I'm quite surprised at your reaction to this persons belief on this subject matter. I understand frustration but you being a member here you should understand that not everybody thinks the same way. If you were cautious enough to read my earlier responses you wouldn't be so quick to categorize us so-called "reverts" in one big box. It appears your knowledge of Islam is slightly distorted and I would suggest that you seek our more text or personal discussions with a Muslim in your area the knowledge of Islam because it appears that you have much to learn about Islam....Yes I'm slightly attacking you because I highly take offense to those categorizing all Muslims and using statements as "reverts being reluctant to revert to Islam."

ZAMAN you said:

"Ok, that was a mistake. Equating the hurt, which either of them (man/woman) receives when their spouse cheats them is a modern western concept (that is not realated to Islam)."

This would be really funny if you were some guy living in Michigan behind a computer because if you are, I would suggest leaving America if you feel the U.S is so immoral. Now back to what I was going to say. Again you and your terms are really confusing. You also mentioned:

"As I had earlier said, intercourse also means pledge of living together(irrespective of the partners following it or not). And also, women leave their earlier home to live with their mate. If a married woman has sex outside marriage, she is promising the other man too, of living with him (and of going to his house). This, I consider to be cheating because she had earlier promised her husband of living with him and staying in his house (and because she cannot possibly stay in the two houses at the same time).

If a man commits adultery, he does not promise to goto the house of the woman with whom he has commited adultery (and thus leave his wife). I don't see how is he cheating his wife (though, he is cheating another man)."

 

Apparently you are giving rise to new terminology on marital infidelity because in our country America, when a woman sleeps around she is not symbolically telling the guy she wants to live with him. Here in America there is a thing called "Booty Calls" where a man/woman sleeps with their partner for the purpose of "causual sex." Even if the party is engaged or married they sleep with another person for the purpose of fulfilling their sexual appetite. Just because a woman cheats doesn't mean she really says "Since we had sex let me move in and be your wife." Because first off if she is making a marital commitment to another man other than her husband she couldn't execute such an act incognito, becaue her husband would find out.

If a man does this the same rules applies he is simply: CHEATING. When I say the act is equal i mean just that. If a man cheats the guilty act is as equal as the womans. There are no discrepancies between the two nor does one symbolize the other, well at least here. Perhaps in the Mid East if a man sleeps around its not cheating and if that is the case its not Islamic but sexist. I agree with Sister Nausheen on the question of whether you had any female influence in your life. I wonder if you have the same impression on your mother like you do women here.  Do you believe the woman who bore you is a product of how you think? Or is she the exception? If she is the exception then how is she different than the women now? 



Edited by Israfil
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kim!
 
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Quote kim! Replybullet Posted: 16 June 2005 at 7:15pm
Originally posted by Israfil

Kim states:

Hypocrites.

No wonder so many people can't be bothered reverting - why would they. The overriding, overwhelming view of all of this is that men are superior, men can sleep around, men can murder...and women can do dishes, pump out babies and be tortured.

You make me sick.

Kim...

I have to say Kim that I'm quite surprised at your reaction to this persons belief on this subject matter. I understand frustration but you being a member here you should understand that not everybody thinks the same way. If you were cautious enough to read my earlier responses you wouldn't be so quick to categorize us so-called "reverts" in one big box. It appears your knowledge of Islam is slightly distorted and I would suggest that you seek our more text or personal discussions with a Muslim in your area the knowledge of Islam because it appears that you have much to learn about Islam....Yes I'm slightly attacking you because I highly take offense to those categorizing all Muslims and using statements as "reverts being reluctant to revert to Islam."

 

Ok - I'm confused again. WHERE did I abuse reverts? I was talking about non-Muslims NOT converting.

Kim...

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ZamanH
 
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2005 at 12:03am
WEll Israfil, I know your country is a land of pigs and whores. Anyway, I won't ever care to go to your country.

Also, animals also don't mean anything when they have intercourse with each other. To them its just that. I consider that one of the major differences between human beings and animals. If all hypocrisy is shed, marriage is a an institution that revolves around sex. Marriage is a wrapper around sex. SEx definitely means a pledge to live together. If you really believe in what you say, you don't really deserve greater respect than animals.

Also,  I certainly know women don't switch from one man to another, unless there is a very compelling reason to do so. I now understand why your ex-fiance left you. If she felt guilt for leaving you (she shouldn't have felt so), it was because she was a good girl. Problem with you seem to be, you do nothing and spent your time thinking why nothing should be done. (Or there might be some other compelling reason, I don't care, but fault must be yours). No wonder, women don't want to marry you.


Edited by ZamanH
An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2005 at 12:06am

Your "man" (read: spineless jellyfish) in the above example is not "cheating" according to you, so you obviously think he should not be punished.


I said he is cheating another man, but not his wife, dumbo. He should be punished for that, just as women are punished for adultery.


Edited by ZamanH
An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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Quote ZamanH Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2005 at 12:17am

What???? I'm sorry - I'm either losing my English language abilities, or you are implying that men and women are only treated equally and only have equal feelings because of the West.


No, you are not losing your ability to understand English. English is a funny language. It has no uniform grammatical rules. No wonder it is a product of the West. It is difficult for me to always write grammatically correct sentences in English.

I meant its the modern Western concept, that the hurt/injury caused to a woman when her husband commits adultery is equivalent to the hurt/injury that is caused to a man when his wife commits adultery.

I know I haven't written it grammatically correct, but I hope it works.

Disclaimer: Don't learn English through my posts.


Edited by ZamanH
An enemy of an enemy is a fickle friend.
There will be more women in hell than men.
..for persecution is worse than the slaughter of the enemy..(Quran 2:191)
Heaven lies under mother's feet
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ummziba
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Quote ummziba Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2005 at 5:49am

Assalamu alaikum,

Originally posted by ZamanH



Also,  I certainly know women don't switch from one man to another, unless there is a very compelling reason to do so.

Brother Zaman, I hate to burst your bubble but in the west, women do sleep around and change partners constantly for no reason other than casual sex.  Women here, married or single, sleep around just as much as the men do.  It is sad and it is sickening, but it is also very true.

Since the advent of birth control, women's liberation, and moving away from Allah, women here are just as "disgusting" as the men.  This is what they call equality I suppose.  Most don't even blink an eye at this behavior.  This is one of the reasons it is so very difficult for Muslims to live in the west.

I would urge you, brother Zaman, not to get personal in your comments.  You are entitled to your opinion as are others.  There is no need to call people names or to hurt peoples feelings.

Peace, ummziba.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words...they break my soul ~
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Quote kim! Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2005 at 7:07am
Originally posted by ZamanH


What???? I'm sorry - I'm either losing my English language abilities, or you are implying that men and women are only treated equally and only have equal feelings because of the West.


 

I meant its the modern Western concept, that the hurt/injury caused to a woman when her husband commits adultery is equivalent to the hurt/injury that is caused to a man when his wife commits adultery.
 


You know - I really REALLY want to argue with this point because I am DEAD SURE that a woman can be hurt EVERY BIT AS MUCH by her husband's infidelity as he can be hurt by HER infidelity...and because your assertion shows an OVERWHELMING dislike of women and and absolute lack of care towards their feelings and their thoughts and their lives...

...but I won't. Because if, as you say, it's only a Western concept that women get hurt AS MUCH AS men do...then it shows that it must be an Eastern/Islamic concept that women are hurt LESS by a man's infidelty, which means that...MEN ARE MORE SENSITIVE AND EMOTIONAL THAN WOMEN IN ISLAM!!!!

YAY!!!!!  Shove THAT in your pipe and smoke it!!!!!

ZamanH - you have NO idea how much I have enjoyed this!

Thank you SO MUCH!!!! 

Big wet, smoochy, WESTERN kisses to you!

Kim...

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Israfil
 
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Quote Israfil Replybullet Posted: 17 June 2005 at 4:16pm

KIM you said:

"No wonder so many people can't be bothered reverting"

Ok reverting to what? If you mean Islam then obviously you are making a personal judgement based upon the ignorant words of ZAmanH.

You also said:

"The overriding, overwhelming view of all of this is that men are superior, men can sleep around, men can murder...and women can do dishes, pump out babies and be tortured."

If you are referring to Middle Eastern culture/Islamic states then again you are categorizing  a specific culture and/religious group by indirectly making that comment. Please rephrase what you meant to say so you dont sound so judgemental.

On to Zaman:

Luckily for you I'm a different person. Before long ago if you had made such a smart remark to me especially something personal I shared (only as an example for this discussion) I would intentionally try to break your neck for the purpose of hurting you. But since I am Muslim I have devoted my time to Allah, Lord of the Universe and have since allowed my intelligence and my patience to do the talking. Since this whole discussion cannot be discussed intelligently by you without personally attacking me I have to say this is the last I respond here.

As sister Ummziba has mentioned the actions of women being permiscuous is just as sinful and disgusting as the men. Again, the only reason a women cheats or sleeps around is the purpose of fulfilling a sexual desire. The same with a man plain and simple. Oh another Zaman since my country is full of pigs and your notion of english is such a western hateful one why do you speak English? Only an ignorant fool would loathe a culture and language and yet share the dialect. But no that can't be you you are too smart to hate English and speak it at the same time right?

Only a fool can be culturally judgmental.....I wonder who that can be? Zaman you don't know me nor do you know anything about what I do or who I really am. but for you to make a personal attack using a personal experience which I only shared for the purpose for an example is nothing short of disgusting. Since you claim to know why she left me I assume you know something about me. Since that is the case from how you act here and how culturally judgemental person you are I'm willing to believe that not only are you ignorant but I believe you are prejudice as well. I'm sad that I call you a brother in Islam.

 

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