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Kiwi
 
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Quote Kiwi Replybullet Topic: Istikharah
    Posted: 27 September 2007 at 12:13pm

Assalamu alaikum. I actually posted this in another discussion but feel as though i should get advise from sisters.

I have performed Istikhara now 5 times and am confused as to the result. I understand that it is not necessary to see dreams or even have feelings but rather if it is good for you, Allah SWT will lead you towards it or otherwise take you far from it.

Here is the background. A Muslim guy and I have been discussing marriage for a while now. His parents were hesitant at first but started coming around. But all of a sudden he told me that he was not ready for marriage. We do care for each other but I am not so sure anymore if I should still pursue this. My reason for doing istikahara was to see if I should just wait and be patient for him to come around or otherwise just forget him completely.

I the first 3 nights I did have positive dreams. And also I had positive results during the day from what I belived was bringing him closer to me. Then on the 4th day in the morning I have this overwhelming feeling of happiness and contentness. I have never felt anything so strong as this. But in the afternoon when I was talking to this guy over the phone, he mentioned again that he was not ready for marriage. He said this all in a light hearted voice but it was enough to upset me. In the evening we spoke again and he was ok. That night I did istikhara for the 5th time. Then the next day again I got a positive result in the morning.

So I am confused as to the result of the istikhara. I have been told and have read that you should perform istikhara 3,5, or 7 times. For 4 days I belive I was seeing positive results until that conversation but then the 5th day more positive results. It doesn't seem like that the distance between us is increasing.

How do I handle the confliction results? Is one "bad" sign enough to trump the positive ones?

Anyone that can offer some advise would be great.

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raz84
 
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Quote raz84 Replybullet Posted: 27 September 2007 at 1:45pm
i think you should go with what your heart tells you.
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Kiwi
 
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Quote Kiwi Replybullet Posted: 27 September 2007 at 1:59pm
But thats the thing. for 4 days I felt as though my heart was telling me to be patient and wait for it. But later in the 4th day it was the opposite. Then again the 5th day that I should be patient..So I'm confused.
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raz84
 
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Quote raz84 Replybullet Posted: 27 September 2007 at 2:22pm

well what to do then is,

 

start afresh and do the istikhara again just as a last resort and see what results you get and go with that.

 

ive never tried istikhara, i need to do it myself as im in the same kind of situation, i wish you goodluck sis, mwahh!

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sulooni
 
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Quote sulooni Replybullet Posted: 10 October 2007 at 2:10pm
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UmmTaaha
 
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Quote UmmTaaha Replybullet Posted: 10 October 2007 at 7:50pm

 Bismillah hir Rahman ir Rahim

 

It may be of help to know the meaning of the dua of IStekhara in your own language ... you can then appreciate that this prayer is done not only to know what move one must take, rather one is leaving everything in Allah's hands  - then whatever is the outcome of things, is in ones benefit, with no blame on the person for taking the coarse of actions.

It is sufficient to do istekhara one time, if one finds an answer through a dream or any positive sign or indication. If one does not get any sign, then going up to 7 times is recommended.

However scholars say that after doing the istekhara prayer, one must leave the matter to Allah and refrain from taking any steps based on ones own inclinations.

Istikhara: the Guidance prayer

Salat al-Istikhara

 

Adab with Allah is the proper fruit of obedience - Habib Ali Jifri
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sulooni
 
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Quote sulooni Replybullet Posted: 14 October 2007 at 9:07am
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safeena
 
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Quote safeena Replybullet Posted: 20 October 2007 at 9:09pm

Assalamualaikum..

I just want to add...

in my opinion..as i learn so far..Istikharah is a way to determine choices...

before we do shalah istikharah..firstly our minds, hearts must be in neutral..becuz sometimes when we do istikharah, our heart first already determined that we want this "one" from choice...our heart and mind must really in neutral..cuz we are seeking the guide from Allah...

dear Sister, just believe..Allah will always give the best for all of us..just keep positive thinking to HIM..

Peace...

 

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